Exchanging Looks

Looking below the surface and see similarities

01/23/2019

Mark 3:1-6 Jesus entered the synagogue. There was a man there who had a withered hand. They watched Jesus closely to see if he would cure him on the sabbath so that they might accuse him. He said to the man with the withered hand, "Come up here before us." Then he said to the Pharisees, "Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath rather than to do evil, to save life rather than to destroy it?" But they remained silent. Looking around at them with anger and grieved at their hardness of heart, Jesus said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He stretched it out and his hand was restored. The Pharisees went out and immediately took counsel with the Herodians against him to put him to death.

It’s amazing how much you can say with just the look on your face. Have you heard the expression, “If looks could kill?” I think Mr. Edwards has that look on his face all the time; I think he was born that way. But that’s also why everyone respects him. When I taught Latin at St. Joseph School in Fayetteville, an older teacher gave me a little advice. He said: “Don’t smile before Thanksgiving.” In other words, show your students you are tough and you mean business. Students can smell weakness in a teacher faster than they can smell a fresh pepperoni pizza, and they will pounce equally on both of them.

But I think better than trying to intimidate or communicate by facial expressions is to have a conversation with the other person. Our external appearance may suggest that you and I are very different, but when we get to know each other, we learn that our stories are quite similar, basically we all hope for happiness. But sadly, we stop on the surface – how someone looks – and never get to know the heart of the another person. I have a book with pictures of all our Trinity students. Some are smiling, some scowling, others trying to look cool, and some need retakes. But if all I ever knew of you was that picture, I wouldn’t know you at all. A picture is worth a thousand words, true; but a picture is not worth substituting for a heart to heart conversation, no matter how pretty your picture. A conversation helps you know someone, and only then can you love someone.

In the gospel, we see people exchanging some strong looks, too, namely, the Pharisees and Jesus. We read: “The Pharisees watched Jesus closely to see if he would cure a man on the Sabbath so that they might accuse him.” The Pharisees stared at Jesus with suspicion in their eyes and saw him as an enemy. But Jesus also does some serious looking back, “Looking at them with anger and grieved at their hardness of heart, Jesus said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand’.” But notice what Jesus did besides looking and staring back. He tried to carry on a conversation by asking them questions. He was saying in effect: we are not as different as you think, we are not really enemies; indeed, I am your long-awaited Messiah, your best friend. But instead of seeing the similarities, the Pharisees met with the Herodians in secret to plot Jesus’ death because they settled for the differences. They stayed on the surface that seems so different instead of having a conversation and see the similarities in every human heart.

I am sure you have heard by now about the stare-down that occurred this past weekend between a Native American, Vietnam veteran named Nathan Phillips, and a Catholic school student named Nick Sandmann. It was during the National Right to Life March in Washington, D.C., and the videos went viral on social media. I don’t want to defend or condemn anyone’s behavior that was involved, and perhaps you have developed your own opinion about the events, which is fine. Nevertheless, I want to offer you three lessons we can learn as a Catholic school reflecting on that tense encounter especially in light of today’s gospel.

First, because of the behavior of those students – right or wrong – people look at Catholic schools more critically than they did before. You may not think it is fair that people judge all Catholic schools by the behavior of a few students, but they do. People judge you by the school you attend, and people judge Catholic schools by the behavior of their students, even when the students are off school grounds. Sometimes parents show us videos that our students have posted on social media that are objectionable, and they expect us to police your behavior 24 hours a day, which of course is impossible. Still, whether you are on Trinity grounds or at the Lincoln Memorial, people expect a higher standard of behavior from Catholic schools students. You may not like the burden of that expectation, but that’s what you signed up for when you registered here at Trinity, and so did we.

Secondly, since that tense confrontation between Nick Sandmann and Nathan Phillips, both men have made public statements explaining their behavior to the world. But what I find deeply disappointing is that they are not talking to each other. They are only seeing the surface of the other person – where the differences lie – and failing to see all the similarities deeper in the heart. There are students here at Trinity that may seem very different from you on the surface, and you may have exchanged some serious looks back and forth with them. But if you are brave enough to have a sincere conversation with them, you will find you share a ton more in common than you imagined. People’s skin may seem different, but every human heart beats the same.

Third, here is what I do when I find it hard to get along with someone: I say a prayer for them, just one Hail Mary when I’m really mad at them. I am sure Fr. Stephen says Hail Mary’s for me all day long. But when you pray for someone, you ask God to bless them, to help them, so that they might be happy. Praying for our enemy softens our hearts (we receive the first grace of every prayer!) and we begin to see them as God sees them, not as an enemy but as a friend; indeed, as a son or daughter. We start to love other people like God loves them, because God knows everyone just wants to be happy.

Do you ever wonder what purgatory will be like? Maybe not, but you probably will more the closer you get to it. I am pretty sure that in purgatory, you will be hanging out with all the people you do not like, and you won’t get to leave until you love them as if they were your best friend. The Pharisees will be with Jesus, Nick Sandmann will be with Nathan Phillips, and Fr. Stephen will be with me. Or, you can skip purgatory by learning to love your enemies today, and that’s a lot easier to do if you do not stop on the surface, but look into their heart, where everyone just wants to be happy.

Praised be Jesus Christ!