Daddy’s Home

Embracing our crosses and transcending them  

Luke 9:18-24  

Once when Jesus was praying by himself, and the disciples were with him, he asked them, “Who do the crowds say that I am?” They said in reply, “John the Baptist; others, Elijah; still others, ‘One of the ancient prophets has arisen.’” Then he said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter said in reply, “The Christ of God.” He scolded them and directed them not to tell this to anyone. He said, “The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.”   

          What do you do with the pains and problems that life tends to throw at you? Well, if you’re like most people, you either try to escape and run away from them, or you reach for the martini or scotch and try to drown them, or you phone a friend and vent your anger and anxiety on them. In other words, most people sweep their suffering under the rug in one way or another so they don’t have to deal with them.   

          But I would suggest to you that the truly wise people do the exact opposite: instead of pushing problems away, they bring them close and hug them tightly. Listen to these words of wisdom about embracing pain. In the movie “The Princess Bride,” the Dread Pirate Roberts says very sagely: “Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” Indeed, some people shop in order to muffle or minimize pains and problems. M. Scott Peck, in his popular book The Road Less Traveled, began with this bold statement, he wrote: “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.” He continued, “It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.” That is, once you embrace the cross, it stops feeling so heavy. C. S. Lewis wrote an entire book on this subject, called The Problem of Pain. He quoted his own mentor, George MacDonald, who was a Presbyterian minister, who said, “The Son of God suffered unto death, not that men might not suffer but so that their suffering might be like his.” In other words, our crosses make us a little more like Christ; whereas without our crosses, we become a little less like Jesus. One of my personal patron saints is St. Josemaria Escriva, a Spanish priest, who said surprisingly: “To be happy what you need is not an easy life, but a heart which is in love.” But we usually say, “No, no, no! I am much happier when everything is easier!” But is “easy street” always “happy street”? Let me ask you again: what do you do with the pains and problems of life – do you run away from them, or do you run toward them?   

          In the gospel today we see Jesus teaching his apostles how to embrace the cross, rather than avoid the cross. He asks them a deep question about his identity, what other people think about him, and what they think about him. Not unexpectedly, the apostles answer that Jesus will be great and glorious like the Old Testament prophets, and Peter pipes up that Jesus is the “Christos” which means the “Anointed One.” In other words, their hopes for Jesus were filled with fame and fortune, in which they, in turn, hoped to share, of course. But how does Jesus react to them? The gospel says, “He scolded them.” He scolded them. Why did he scold them for saying something nice about him? Well, he wanted to teach them the truth about his identity and his destiny, namely, that he came to carry the cross, not for greatness and glory. In Isaiah 53:3, the ancient prophet predicted that the Messiah would be “spurned and avoided by men, a man of suffering, knowing pain, like one from whom you turn your face, spurned, and we held him in no esteem.” In other words, like Dread Pirate Roberts said, Jesus life would be “pain,” and Jesus didn’t want his apostles selling him any pain killers. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said, “Everyone else comes into this world to live; Jesus came into this world to die.” Carrying the cross was Jesus’ deepest identity.   

          I just finished reading a book by a good friend, John Diamond, and the book was called Please Delete. John worked at the University of Arkansas as the Associate Vice Chancellor for University Relations. In 2013, he got caught in the cross-hairs of scandal, cover-up, financial mismanagement and administrative arrogance. When all the dust finally settled, the crisis cost John his job. In the book John wrote that his motto was, “doing the right thing and getting caught doing it” (Please Delete, 26). John embodied what M. Scott Peck meant when he wrote: “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.” John Diamond shouldered his cross, he didn’t run away from it. His book is a testament to how he transcended his cross.   

          Last week I visited one of our parishioners named Nadine Long, whom some of you may know. She has suffered from cancer, and neuropathy and now a whole host of other ailments. We sat at her kitchen table talking, and I remarked how much she smiled and seemed serene in spite of all her suffering. Her smile grew even bigger and she answered, “I have so much to be grateful for. And, after all, these aches and pains aren’t so bad. They are part of life.” She said she was really looking forward to her children and grandchildren visiting on July 4th. Don’t you think that St. Josemaria had Nadine in mind when he said, “To be happy what you need is not an easy life, but a heart which is in love.” Nadine’s life was not easy, but she was very happy because she loves her family deeply.   

          A few months ago, I watched the movie, “Daddy’s Home.” I do not recommend you see it – only priests should watch it. It’s about two dads – played by Will Farrell and Mark Wahlberg – who compete with each other as they struggle to do the right thing. The only redeeming scene of the whole movie was when Will Farrell scolds Mark Wahlberg about being a dad, saying (slightly censored), “Dads eat crap. It’s what we do. Dads have to make lots of choices and we blow most of them.” Farrell goes on: “Dads suck it up. Dads keep our promises, even when we make numerous mistakes.” In some strange and even sacred way, dads shoulder their crosses not so much by being perfect, but just by being present, and keeping their promises. George MacDonald said, “The Son of God suffered unto death, not that men - dads - might not suffer, but that their suffering might be like his.” On this Father’s Day, I praise God for all the dads who have not been perfect, but who have been present. Your crosses make you more like Christ.   

          Do you know what one of my crosses was as a small boy? It was going to Mass on Sunday – because it was so long and boring (not like for you). So, instead of running away from it, I decided to embrace the cross by becoming an altar server. And serving made the Mass go by a lot faster and it was more interesting. Now, I’m a priest and the Mass goes by in a flash! See what happened? When you embrace the cross, you finally transcend it.   

          Praised be Jesus Christ!