Ranking Ourselves

Seeing ourselves and others as God see us

03/09/2024

Lk 18:9-14 Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. “Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

One of the habits we learn as small children is comparing ourselves to others. And sometimes comparing ourselves can be good, but sometimes it can be bad. Comparison is good when it leads to competition and pushes us to become “the best version of ourselves” as Mathew Kelly likes to say. When I entered high school I had made B’s and C’s on my report card. I did not care about my grades. But Fr. George Tribou, our principal, posted the nine weeks rankings of students according to their GPA (grade point average), so we could see where we stood academically compared to other boys.

Every quarter we crowded around that list to find our names. As I looked for my name I noticed who was ranked above me, and I thought: “Heck, I’m smarter than that guy!” And suddenly I cared about my grades! That is, comparison motivated competition which inspired academic excellence. By the way, I graduated ranked ninth in a class of 177 boys, but I’m sure I would have been ranked a lot lower if there had been girls in the school.

On the other hand, comparing ourselves with others can be bad when we make moral comparisons, rather than academic ones. We do this when we say to ourselves, “I don’t drink as much as he does.” Or, “I am not as lazy as she is.” Or, “Our children are better behaved than so-and-so’s family,” etc. This corrosive comparison of ourselves with others on the moral nine-week’s rankings, is what we see going on in the gospel today.

The Pharisee looks for his name on the moral ranking list – a list he has concocted in his imagination – and sees himself ranked number one in the class. The tax collector, meanwhile, does not bother to find his name on any list of moral comparisons. Hence, we read, “But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven.”

In a sense, he understood that when it comes to moral matters, “all bets are off,” and there is no way to tell who ranks higher or lower. Why? Well, because at root morality is a matter of the heart, which God alone can see, and it cannot be placed on a public list of who’s holy and who’s wretched, at least not while we are on earth. That final ranking of holiness comes out when we get to heaven, and see ourselves and others as God sees us.

One way we can circumvent this moral comparing of ourselves with others is to recall what the spiritual masters called “the predominant fault.” Have you heard of that? The predominant fault is a sin or weakness each person has that causes us to fail no matter how hard we try to overcome it. Perhaps it can be compared to high school studies. Normally, if you are good at algebra, you are lousy at geometry; whereas if you excel in geometry, algebra is always a struggle.

For example, my brother is super smart in math but he can barely spell words like “cat” or “dog,” while I can spell perspicacious but cannot count to ten using my fingers. This is also true in the moral arena. Even though we may make great progress in many areas of the moral life – we are kind, we are prudent, we are generous, etc. – there will be one area where we fall flat on our face.

I often wonder if St. Paul was referring to his predominant fault when he wrote his second letter to the Corinthians, confessing: “Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Co 12:7-9).

People who go to confession often recognize that they mention the same sins over and over. Such sins might include gluttony (overeating), or gambling, or greed and the desire to be rich, or sins of lust, or sloth or laziness, or gossip and talking about others’ faults and failings, or pride, or ego, or vanity, or chronic anger and resentment, etc. In short, the list is long!

These recurring sins, especially if there is one that towers above the rest, is likely a sign of your predominant fault, a failing to keep you humble like the tax collector. Why? So, you do not raise your eyes to look up to heaven and try to see your moral ranking relative to your brothers and sisters.

Praised be Jesus Christ!