Pelted with Popcorn

Forgiving others from the heart with prayer

03/05/2024

Mt 18:21-35 Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’ Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan. When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair. His master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’

Which is easier to say, “I am sorry,” or to say “I forgive you”? Well, I think the answer depends on how old you are. That is, when we are children we get into trouble a lot, and then it is hard for us to say “I’m sorry.” A couple of weeks ago our second graders made their first reconciliation in preparation for their First Holy Communion. And they were sweating bullets. One priest friend of mine likes to say that hearing first confessions is like being pelted with popcorn.

But as we get older the tables are turned. We find ourselves as the offended party, and someone else coming wit hat in hand to ask for our forgiveness, our mercy, and our compassion. And even if we can muster the humility to say “I forgive you,” it is often done through gritted teeth and our hearts are a million miles away. In other words, we hold grudges. How hard it is to fully forgive someone! It does not feel like we are pelted with popcorn, but rather cut up by a machete. That is why the old saying goes, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Why? Well, because it takes super-human, divine grace to fully forgive someone. It is God-like.

One Sunday a preacher was addressing the subject of “forgive your enemies.” He asked for a show of hands of how many people in the pews had forgiven their enemies. About half raised their hands. He preached on for another twenty minutes and asked again, and eighty percent raised their hands. Another thirty minutes of pounding the pulpit got about everyone, except one elderly lady, to raise their hands.

The preacher singled out the lone holdout, saying, “Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?” She replied sweetly, “I don’t have any.” Amazed, the preached asked her to come up to the front, and said, “Mrs. Jones, how old are you?” She proudly answered, “Ninety-seven.” The preached asked, stunned: “Mrs. Jones, how can someone live to be ninety-seven and not have any enemies?” She turned to the congregation and said, “Easy. I outlived all those sons of guns.”

In the gospel today Peter asks Jesus a very important question about forgiveness, namely, how many times must we forgive? And Peter thinks he’s being very generous by adding: “As many as seven times?” But Jesus replies: “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” In other words, he is trying to teach Peter that “to err is human but to forgive is divine.” And precisely what makes forgiveness so divine is its limitless, inexhaustible character. And it wasn’t just Peter who learned that lesson, but so too did his successors, the popes, down the ages.

Probably the most dramatic example of papal forgiveness was Pope St. John Paul II. Some of you may recall on May 13, 1981 in St. Peter’s Square Mehmet Ali Agca shot Pope John Paul II two times. But the pope visited him in prison, and not only forgave him, but requested clemency for Agca, which the Italian President Carlo Ciampi honored and extradited Agca to Turkey in 2000. More amazingly, in 2007, Agca converted and became Roman Catholic. And that is why we must forgive: to save souls, beginning with our own.

May I share with you what I do when I get sideways with people? I simply say one “Hail Mary” for them when they’re really getting under my skin. I have found that it is hard to pray for someone and stay mad at them simultaneously. There is not enough room in the human heart for prayer and grudges at the same time. They are like oil and water, mutually exclusive.

But prayer does more than that. It helps me to see that other person who hurt me through God’s eyes. And I believe God sees us all as little children who don’t know our right hand from our left hand, and are just stumbling along doing the best we can. In other words, God sees us like that priest who hears small children’s first confession and feels like he’s being pelted with popcorn.

Perhaps you can think of someone who has hurt you today at Mass and pray for them. It will help heal your heart. Like Pope St. John Paul II did with Ali Agca, it may help your enemy get to heaven, and help you, too. And don’t just try to outlive the sons of guns.

Praised be Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!