The Third Word, Part 2

Learning to pronounce Eschatological Virginity

01/04/2023

John Paul terms a second insight (or syllable) of Christ’s third word Eschatological Virginity, which means that earthly marriage will not exist in eternity. But be careful: John Paul II does not mean what we think he means by the word “virginity.” Remember in the movie “The Princess Bride” when Vizzini kept saying “inconceivable,” and Inigo Montoya replied: “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Similarly, when John Paul uses the term Eschatological Virginity he does not mean what we think he means. Get ready for some high level three-dimensional thinking. What do I mean? Have you ever heard someone exaggerate a difference so much that they accidentally say, “He made a 360 degree change!”? They meant to say, of course, “a 180 degree change”. Think of a compass: “a 180” is the polar opposite (north versus south), while “a 360” returns you back to where you started. Well, at first sight it seems the pope is doing “a 180” talking about virginity, which sounds like the polar opposite of marriage. But on closer inspection, John Paul really does “a 360” and argues virginity in heaven ends up looking a lot like a mystical marriage. This is how the Holy Father starts to enunciate this second syllable of Eschatological Virginity. The whole theology of the body argues, in effect, that regardless of whether you are in Eden, or on earth, or in eternity, men and women are destined to experience some kind of marriage – even virgins do! – but in each state – Eden, earth, or eternity – it is a unique sort of marriage. It is the same but different.

In order to successfully make this 360 degree turn from marriage to virginity and then back to marriage, the pope enlists the help of some additional words of Christ, specifically in Mt 19:11-12. There, Jesus discusses marriage but also adds that some people do not marry because they make themselves “eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven.” That category of people clearly refers to priests, nuns, and monks because we are essentially “voluntarily eunuchs.” John Paul, therefore, evaluates two key passages simultaneously: he looks primarily at Mt 22:30 where Jesus says “at the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage,” but he glances repeatedly at Mt 19:12, where Jesus acknowledges, “others who make themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven.” In a very subtle but strategic argument the pope will do “a 360” demonstrating that Eschatological Virginity will bear a striking resemblance to marriage, and he does this in three steps. First, he analyzes the large context of Christ’s words in Mt 19:11-12. The context is key. Second, he argues that both marriage and virginity bear fruit, and are similar in that respect. And third, he asserts that the love that motivates both marriage and virginity is spousal, or the love of husband and wife. Again, John Paul invites us to leave behind superficial two-dimensional thinking and attempt three-dimensional thinking that is as high as heaven by learning how to say Eschatological Virginity.

First, John Paul carefully considers the context of Christ’s words about marriage and celibacy in Mt 19:12. The pope explains that Jesus looks at celibacy (or virginity) only as an “exception” and not the rule for earthly life. That is, the Holy Father does not want everyone to become celibate priests and nuns. If everyone did, human history would end because there would be no more people. John Paul insists: “On the basis of the immediate context of the words about continence for the kingdom of heaven in man’s earthly life, one must see in the vocation to such continence a kind of exception to what is, by contrast, a general rule of this life [namely, marriage]. This is what Christ emphasizes above all” (Man and Woman He Created Them, 415). Have you heard the old adage, “the exception proves the rule”? For example, the exception that during the Fridays of Lent we do not eat meat helps to highlight the rule that eating meat is good. How so? Well, when you are eating mac-n-cheese or peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches on Fridays of Lent, you long for a good steak on Friday night. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as we all know. By considering the larger context, therefore, John Paul shows that Eschatological Virginity is intended to actually highlight the value of marriage. The pope is adamant on this point, stating: “The question of continence for the kingdom of heaven is not set in opposition to marriage, nor is it based on a negative judgment about the importance of marriage” (Man and Woman He Created Them, 413). In a sense, marriage and virginity, properly understood in the context of Christ’s words, are “the same but different,” because they underscore the same great value of marriage but in two different ways, one positively another negatively.

A second step the pope takes to demonstrate the sameness yet difference between marriage and virginity is by speaking of their fruitfulness. Obviously, marriage bears fruit when spouses beget natural children. It takes a little more effort, though, to perceive how virginity also bears fruit because it does so supernaturally and spiritually. Let me use my family as an example. Growing up, in India and later Little Rock, we were not particularly super devout Catholics. We went to Mass on Sunday but that was it: no daily Mass, no confession, no retreats, prayer groups, Scripture study classes, etc. We did the spiritual minimum necessary to get to heaven. But after I was ordained and became a celibate (a virgin) all that dramatically changed. My parents started attending daily Mass. My sister considered the religious life and now works in her church office. My brother teaches Confirmation classes, and my sister-in-law is the youth director of her parish. Did you see what happened? Before I embraced virginity for the kingdom my family did the spiritual minimum. After ordination my family does the spiritual maximum. This spiritual awakening in my family is the fruit of virginity for the kingdom. John Paul is not remotely interested in highlighting how virginity and marriage are different. Rather, he is intensely interested on how they are fundamentally the same. Both bear fruit. This is how you say Eschatological Virginity.

The pope’s third step in doing “a 360” is to demonstrate that both marriage and virginity are fueled by spousal love, the love of husband and wife. Nowadays a growing number of people argue that if we got rid of mandatory celibacy more men would join the ranks of the priesthood. Now, that may be true for others, but it was not for me. As a teenager, I used to look at Jesus’ suffering and death on the cross as an act of tremendous love for me. I believe all Christians do that. I suddenly felt a surge of desire to make a sacrificial act of love for Jesus. And being a celibate priest came to mind. Why didn’t the sacrifice of giving up chocolate for the rest of my life come to mind? God’s grace works in mysterious ways. Can you see how the sacrifice of celibacy propelled me to the priesthood rather than repelled me from it? And that sacrifice was an expression of love. John Paul explains how spousal love lies at the heart of virginity, writing: "In this way, continence “for the kingdom of heaven,” the choice of virginity or celibacy for one’s whole life, has become in the experience of the disciples and followers of Christ the act of a particular response to the love of the Divine Bridegroom, and therefore acquired the meaning of an act of spousal love, that is, of a spousal gift of self with the end of answering in a particular way the Redeemer’s spousal love, a gift of self understood as a renunciation, but realized above all out of love" (Man and Woman He Created Them, 436). That is, the love that underlies both marriage and virginity, are equally examples of the love between a bride and a groom. They are the same but different; “doing a 360” you might say.

What, then, is the pope’s main message about Eschatological Virginity? I think he wants us to grasp how two seemingly contradictory realities on earth – marriage and virginity – will possess profound similarities in the eschaton, in heaven. Therefore everyone will indeed be “virgins” in heaven as Jesus said in Mt 22:30, “For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage.” Nonetheless, everyone will also enjoy a mystical marriage with Jesus, the Divine Bridegroom. Virginity and marriage are two sides of the same coin: one side of the coin is earthly marriage, the other side of the coin is Eschatological Virginity. John Paul reconciles these apparent opposites by looking at the larger context of Christ’s words, in which the exception proves the rule, at how both marriage and virginity bear fruit (natural and spiritual), and how the love of husband and wife motivates both states of life. If we can see how marriage and virginity at least in these ways are “the same but different” we can start to pronounce Eschatological Virginity.

Praised be Jesus Christ!