Breakfast in Nazareth

Seeing the great value of family dinners

12/31/2023

Sir 3:2-6, 12-14 God sets a father in honor over his children; a mother’s authority he confirms over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and preserves himself from them. When he prays, he is heard; he stores up riches who reveres his mother. Whoever honors his father is gladdened by children, and, when he prays, is heard. Whoever reveres his father will live a long life; he who obeys his father brings comfort to his mother. My son, take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him; revile him not all the days of his life; kindness to a father will not be forgotten, firmly planted against the debt of your sins—a house raised in justice to you.

I was talking with a funeral director last week as we were riding back from the cemetery. He said, “I’ve got a joke you might be able to use in a sermon.” I replied, “Okay, lay it on me.” He started: “A man and his family, and his in-laws, took a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. During their visit to Jerusalem, the man’s mother-in-law became seriously sick, and suddenly died. The man went to the local funeral home to talk about what he should do with her body. The funeral director said, ‘Well, you’ve got two options. You can fly her body back home to be buried in the U.S. for $5,000. Or, you can have a service and bury her here for $150.’

The man thought about it for a moment and answered, ‘I think we will have her body sent back home for burial.’ Surprised, the funeral director asked, ‘Why would you pay $5,000 to send her back to the U.S. rather than pay $150 to bury her here in the Holy Land?’ The man replied, ‘You know, I have heard about a guy that was buried here 2,000 years ago and three days later he came back to life. I just can’t take that chance’.” I get my best homily material from funeral home directors. They are pretty smart.

I mention that joke because today is the Solemnity of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, the ideal model of a family. In other words, St. Joseph would have happily buried his mother-in-law, St. Anne, in the Holy Land instead of flying her body to the United States. I’m joking of course, but the Holy Family teaches us a lot more than that. So, let me ask you a million-dollar question on everyone’s mind: what most contributes to family harmony and holiness, happiness and health? Well, there are many things, like praying together, going on vacations as a family, and even doing chores around the house so everyone takes ownership for the home.

But I am convinced that nothing helps a family to be happy, healthy, and even holy, more than sharing a meal together. For example, can you imagine breakfast every morning in Nazareth for the Holy Family? Poor St. Joseph comes downstairs still groggy, half-awake, and maybe a little grump before his morning coffee. And he looks across the table and there sits Mary, smiling sweetly as the Immaculate Conception, and next to her little Jesus, dutifully eating his cereal, the Second Person of the Most Holy Trinity. Joseph must have thought: “Man, I’ve got to up my game if I’m going to hang with these two!” And that is exactly what family dinners do: they help us to “up our game” because family members lift us up to become the best version of ourselves.

This past week the Arkansas Catholic newspaper ran an article about the benefits of family dinners. Let me share with you 15 different ways family dinners impact each person in the family, based on serious research and proven data: (1) better academic performance because you talk about school at the table; (2) higher self-esteem because your parents tell you they love you; (3) greater sense of resilience and self-confidence as you talk about your mistakes and are still accepted unconditionally; (4) lower risk of substance abuse, like alcohol, drugs, or vaping;

(5) lower risk of teen pregnancy because you’re not looking for love in all the wrong places because you found love in the right place, at home; (6) lower rates of depression (things like cutting); (7) lower likelihood of developing eating disorders (like bulimia, eating and throwing up); ( lower rates of obesity because you learn to make good choices; (9) better cardiovascular health in teens, (10) bigger vocabulary in preschoolers because they learn from the older siblings; (11) healthier eating patterns in young adults, who carry these lessons to college.

Now, these last four are specific to adults: (12) better nutrition with more fruits and vegetables and less fast food; (13) less dieting; (14) increased self-esteem, and less mid-life crises; and (15) lower risks of depression. In other words, nothing contributes to better health, happiness, and even holiness than sitting down and sharing a meal together as a family. Why? Because you share more than supper, you share your struggles and set-backs, your crosses and losses. That is, when you share your story, you find the strength to become the best version of yourself.

Folks, I know it is hard – maybe it feels impossible – to eat together as a family. When I visit families at home for supper, I see first-hand how school and sports, friends and phones, boyfriends and girlfriends, two parents working and single parent families are all enormous challenges. And the first thing that gets sacrificed on the altar of survival and efficiency is the family dinner. And I know we are all doing the best we can with the limited resources we have. Nonetheless, nothing else contributes more to family wholeness than sharing dinner every night.

Oh, by the way, here is some surplus spiritual benefit to eating dinner as a family. It will help you to come to Mass more often. Why is that? Well, because grace builds on nature. And if you can appreciate family suppers – which don’t always feel like a rock concert, or going to the symphony, or attending an IMAX movie, but is simply family sharing supper and sharing stories - then you will see exactly the value of the Mass, which is simply family sharing supper and sharing stories, and yes, corny jokes. In other words, what began as breakfast in Nazareth would one day become Supper in Jerusalem (the Last Supper), where the apostles – and one day you and I – would sit across the table from Jesus and Mary, and they would inspire us to “up our game” and become the best version of ourselves.

My friends, since this is New Year’s Eve, may I suggest a New Year’s Resolution? Eat together as a family. I guarantee you will see positive changes in your children and in yourself by December 31, 2024. Incidentally, my dog Apollo and I have made this our New Year’s Resolution. We will eat at the same time, so he doesn’t get jealous of my food, and I don’t get jealous of his food. In that way, even Apollo and I will have to “up our game.” Why? Because family dinners inspire us to become the best version of ourselves, like it did for St. Joseph at breakfast in Nazareth.

Praised be Jesus Christ!