My Love Language

Learning how to compliment and praise others

10/12/2022

LK 11:42-46 The Lord said: “Woe to you Pharisees! You pay tithes of mint and of rue and of every garden herb, but you pay no attention to judgment and to love for God. These you should have done, without overlooking the others. Woe to you Pharisees! You love the seat of honor in synagogues and greetings in marketplaces. Woe to you! You are like unseen graves over which people unknowingly walk.” Then one of the scholars of the law said to him in reply, “Teacher, by saying this you are insulting us too.” And he said, “Woe also to you scholars of the law! You impose on people burdens hard to carry, but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them.”

Boys and girls, my love language is words of affirmation or praising people. What does it mean that I have a love language? Well, the way I tell someone I love them and how I feel loved by others is by giving compliments to them. Or, when someone says something nice about me, it feels like they really love me. A compliment touches my heart. For example, a few weeks ago when I shaved my head, someone said, “Fr. John, you look like the Rock!” and that made me feel very loved.

On the other hand, someone else said, “Fr. John, you look like Gandhi,” which did not make me feel very loved. I think Mark Twain’s love language must have been praising people too because he once said, “I could live on a good compliment for two weeks with nothing else to eat.” In other words, good words can be more life-giving and nourishing than good food.

I don’t know if your love language is praising people and giving compliments, but Mr. Edwards and Mrs. Rinke praised all of you yesterday at the Trinity Trust meeting. Maybe these compliments will help you survive if you did not order your lunch today. Mr. Edwards said: “Football has had a great season under Coach Rashad McGill and his staff. They are 7-1 with one final game on Monday, October 24 against Subiaco. Volleyball is currently 16-1 and this past week won the 4-A state championship.

“Cross country has their city-wide meet here at Trinity on Wednesday and another on Saturday in Van Buren. Our new soccer program is very popular with boys and girls teams. Mr. Ordonez and Mr. Barba have been coaching the teams, and we are the only middle school with a soccer program. Basketball will start on Thursday, Nov 3, and we will host the HCAA tourney here at Trinity. Quiz Bowl starts Wednesday with an exhibition match against Southside High School 9th graders.”

Mrs. Rinke also mentioned how well you did on the standardized tests two weeks ago. We saw not only good scores but also good growth, meaning your test scores improved from last year to this year. And we want to compliment you on your hard work with rewards like a free dress day. Boys and girls, Mr. Edwards and Mrs. Rinke are very proud of all you are doing in athletics and academics. When we brag about you at the Trinity Trust meeting, we are saying, “We love you.” And if praising people is your love language, you probably do not even feel very hungry now.

Today, I want you to practice praising people. Try to find something nice to compliment someone and then tell them, like someone told me I look like the Rock, Dwayne Johnson. You can say something nice about their nail polish – girls go to great lengths to pain their nails. Sometimes people have new shoes and you can notice that and tell them it looks good on them.

Yesterday a friend of mine had lost some weight and I mentioned how great she looked. She smiled from ear to ear. Even if someone loses a game or fails a test, you can compliment them on how hard their tried. I know how hard you studied for that test, or I know how much you practiced before the game. In other words, there is always something you can find to praise people, and it tells them that you love them.

Boys and girls, do you know the words that children most want to hear from their parents? This may surprise you but those words are not “I love you.” Of course, those are great words, but what children, especially Catholic school children, really want to hear mom and dad say is, “I am proud of you.” Why is that? Well, when parents say, “I love you” it feels like they almost have to say that. Parents have to love their children.

But they don’t have to be proud of their children; and sometimes they are disappointed. So, when parents say, “I am proud of you” we know they must mean it, and it means more. And children can live on that sincere compliment “for two weeks with nothing else to eat.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!