Bridge to Hawaii

Finding answers to frequently asked questions on prayer

10/16/2022

Lk 18:1-8 Jesus told his disciples a parable about the necessity for them to pray always without becoming weary. He said, "There was a judge in a certain town who neither feared God nor respected any human being. And a widow in that town used to come to him and say, 'Render a just decision for me against my adversary.' For a long time the judge was unwilling, but eventually he thought, 'While it is true that I neither fear God nor respect any human being, because this widow keeps bothering me I shall deliver a just decision for her lest she finally come and strike me.'" The Lord said, "Pay attention to what the dishonest judge says. Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen ones who call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?"

One of the most frequently asked questions (FAQ’s) people pose to priests is about prayer. How does one pray properly? How can I make more progress in prayer? How do I stop the distractions that disturb my prayer? So, today I would like to address some of these problems in prayer, so you don’t have to keep asking me. Just go back and reread or listen to this homily on prayer, and leave me alone (just kidding)!

One day a man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud: “Lord, grant me one wish.” The sky clouded over and a booming voice said, “Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish.” The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want.” The Lord answered: “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking, the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific, the concrete and steel it would take. I can do it but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish that would honor and glorify God.”

The man thought a long time and finally said: “Lord, I wish I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside. What they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment. Why they cry. What they mean when they say “Nothing is wrong.” And, how can I make a woman truly happy?” After a few moments, God replied: “Do you want four lanes or two lanes on that bridge?” So, the first point about prayer is that we all face problems in prayer, and sometimes maybe even God does.

Let me say three more things about prayer, as a sort of prayer primer. The first thing is that there are three basic kinds of prayer. (1) There is vocal prayer, like reciting the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Grace Before Meals, or like the prayer of the man on the beach who wanted a bridge to Hawaii. (2) There is meditation, which is reading and reflecting on the Scripture or the life of Jesus, Mary and the Saints. In meditation, we think about them, and try to become more like them.

And (3) there is contemplation, which is simply sitting in the presence of the One you love and know that He loves you. Have you ever noticed how some couples don’t have to say anything to each other but are still communicating very deeply just by being together, profoundly aware of the other person’s presence? Fulton Sheen memorably described these three kinds of prayer saying, “In vocal prayer we go to God on foot. In meditation, we go to God on horseback. In contemplation we go to God in a jet.” That is, in contemplation we don’t need a bridge to get to Hawaii or to God because we can fly there.

The second point about prayer is that the Lord’s Prayer, or the Our Father, is really the most perfect prayer of all. Why? Well, that is how Jesus taught his disciples to pray in Matthew 6 and Luke 11. Did you know that there are seven petitions imbedded in the Our Father? The Catechism of the Catholic Church dedicates the fourth and final section of the Catechism to prayer and especially to the Our Father.

Listen to this eloquent description of the Lord's Prayer by the Catechism: “After we have placed ourselves in the presence of God our Father, to adore and to love and to bless him, the Spirit of adoption stirs up in our hearts seven petitions, seven blessings: the first three, more theological, draw us toward the glory of the Father; the last four, as ways toward him, commend our wretchedness to his grace “Deep calls on deep” (Ps 42:7)” (no. 2803). Your homework today is to read the whole fourth section in the Catechism on perfect prayer. Why? Because there you will find answers to your “frequently asked questions” on problems in prayer.

And my last point about prayer is perhaps the most important one. The real purpose of prayer is not to change God, but to change us. That is why Jesus urges his disciples in the gospel today to be persistent in prayer. Why? Well, because sometimes it takes a long time of praying for something – and not getting what we want – to begin to realize that perhaps “Father knows best.” That is, God knows better than we do what we really need.

It’s like that Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers” where the man has grown up and looks back at his life. He sees the woman he had begged God to help him marry many years ago as a young man, but she didn’t fall in love with him. Then he looks at his current wife, whom he loves dearly, and is so thankful God did not answer that original prayer. The refrain of the song goes: “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” The singer gradually learned that the real purpose of prayer is not for us to change God, but for God to change us.

My friends, I bet many of you are here at Mass today praying for a special petition. Some may be praying for family and friends with serious illness and for healing. Others may be in financial trouble and need help to find a job or maybe win the lottery! Others may be asking God to help them with marriage problems, or a romantic relationship on the rocks. Others want wisdom to choose a college or a career, what girl to marry, or to discern a vocation to the priesthood or religious life.

Sometimes God answers our prayers and gives us what we ask. But sometimes he does not. One day we may learn that “some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!