Tough Teachings

Understanding why we ask the hard questions

01/27/2022

Mk 4:21-25 Jesus said to his disciples, “Is a lamp brought in to be placed under a bushel basket or under a bed, and not to be placed on a lampstand? For there is nothing hidden except to be made visible; nothing is secret except to come to light. Anyone who has ears to hear ought to hear.” He also told them, “Take care what you hear. The measure with which you measure will be measured out to you, and still more will be given to you. To the one who has, more will be given; from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.”

In the course of a typical day, I am asked a lot of questions for which I do not have very satisfactory answers. For example, one couple asked me why their gay son could not marry his same-sex partner in the Catholic Church? Another woman wondered why she had to get an annulment for her previous marriage before she could receive Holy Communion? Protestant friends, who are otherwise very friendly to Catholicism, are hurt and offended because they are not allowed to receive Holy Communion at Mass. Why not? Why does the Church teach that sex change operations are immoral?

Why doesn’t the Church recognize a woman’s reproductive rights and accept her ability to have an abortion? And this last question may seem small but it weighs heavily on some hearts: why does the Church not allow secular music at weddings and funerals? Many parents fear that prohibition will make the Church appear arbitrary and out of step with the modern culture, that sees no issues as long as the music is Christian and sounds spiritual. These questions carry serious pastoral consequences. Why? Well, because when they are left unanswered, or poorly answered, people leave the Church.

I am sure you know people who have stopped practicing their Catholic faith for these reasons or others. Perhaps the easiest answer would be to change Church teaching or policy to suit people’s preferences and petitions. That is what many other churches have done and their pews are filled with parishioners. Rather than try to answer each question, let me say two things about why people ask such questions in the first place. That is, what is at the root of such tough questions?

First of all, I think it betrays a lack of child-like trust in God and his Church. What does that mean? Well, small children often hear their parents say, “No” to their wishes and demands. While that may make some children pout and throw a temper tantrum, it also reminds the children that maybe my parents know better than I do what is best for me. It requires humility, trust and patience to see that parental prohibitions come from a place of wisdom and love for the child. That is, it is not to make the child miserable, but so the child might experience maturity.

Any parents who have tried to raise Christian children have had to say “no” to them; and that is not easy or fun. And so I hope they can sympathize with me (and the Church) when our rules and regulations basically say “no” to what Catholics ask us today, like about same-sex marriage and secular songs. Tough Church teachings are not intended to make you miserable but to make you more mature. Thus, Jesus taught that only the childlike will enter the Kingdom of Heaven (cf. Mt 18:3).

The second observation about asking such questions is because we don’t have more serious things to think about, like our eternal salvation. Fr. Benedict Groeschel once memorably said: “It is good to die for your faith, just don’t die for the nickels and dimes of the faith.” When we have too much free time on our hands, we start to focus on the nickels and dimes of the faith. We worry about the secondary and superficial aspects of our faith and lose sight of what is essential and eternal. An old proverb states: “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

This is why I think God sometimes sends suffering into our lives. That may sound like an unsympathetic thing to say, but I don’t think so. Even though we don’t want to see anyone suffer, what happens when we do? Suffering, illness, and even death, begin to sift the wheat from the chaff of our lives, and we begin to see what is truly important, what we should live for and what we should die for. That is why they say: “There are no atheists in foxholes.”

Wartime clarifies that there is a God because we desperately need him. Listen to C. S. Lewis during World War II: “War makes death real to us, and that would have been regarded as one of its blessings by most of the great Christians of the past.” He continued: “They thought it good for us to be always reminded of our mortality…In ordinary times only a wise man can realize it. Now [in wartime] the stupidest of us knows.”

In the gospel today Jesus also gives some tough teachings. But then he adds wisely: “Anyone who has ears to hear ought to hear.” I believe it takes child-like ears and ears that have heard the cries and casualties of war to be able to hear those tough teachings and humbly accept them.

Praised be Jesus Christ!