The Loneliness of God

Feeling the presence of Jesus in our trails and temptations

10/7/2018

Genesis 2:18-24 The LORD God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." So the LORD God formed out of the ground various wild animals and various birds of the air, and he brought them to the man to see what he would call them; whatever the man called each of them would be its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, all the birds of the air, and all wild animals; but none proved to be the suitable partner for the man. So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called 'woman, ' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.

I am going to say something that is borderline blasphemous, so do not tell the pope, please. I believe there is a genuine sense in which God can feel alone, even lonely. Now that should sound blasphemous or heretical to us Catholic Christians because all good Christians know God can never be alone. He is a Holy Trinity of Persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, a perfect Communion of Persons that excludes any form of unhealthy isolation or “rugged individualism” as President Teddy Roosevelt might advocate. God cannot even go to the bathroom alone, you might say.

And yet when God became a man in Jesus, he left his heavenly hearth and home to wander in the wilderness of this world alone. Romano Guardini put it poignantly about Lord’s passion, saying: “One disciple after the other falls away, and the Master is left in growing isolation” (The Lord, 241). Our Lord’s loneliness would crescendo and reach its climax on the Cross, when Jesus cried: “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” Insane as it sounds, God the Son finally feels abandoned by God the Father. And Jesus adds an exclamation point as he expires by giving away his Blessed Mother Mary to his Beloved Disciple John at the hour he needed her most. Jesus died emotionally and existentially alone: without mother, without Father, without friends.

Now, to understand why Jesus underwent such extreme loneliness, we have to go all the way back to the book of Genesis, our first reading today. There, God beholds his handiwork, Adam, and moments after creating him, God declares: “It is not good for the man to be alone,” a statement as prophetic as it is profound. I am convinced that man’s loneliness is not cured by the creation of the animals, and I would go even further and argue his loneliness is not even assuaged by the assistance of Eve, his spouse. I know many married people who feel terribly alone in their marriages. I bet you know such lonely people, too; maybe you are one of those people: the two have not become one. Marriage, in and of itself, does not cure the ache of aloneness, that everyone eventually experiences in his or her heart.

Remember that Beatle’s song called “Eleanor Rigby”? One stanza goes: “Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice / In the church where a wedding has been / Lives in a dream / Waits at the window, wearing the face / That she keeps in a jar by the door / Who is it for? / All the lonely people, where do they all come from? / All the lonely people, where do they all belong?” By the way, I have no idea what that means!  But I think it means that Eleanor Rigby felt terribly alone, and she picked up rice after weddings hoping a marriage might heal her lonely heart.

I want to suggest to you that God finally addressed the loneliness of Adam – “it is not good for the man to be alone” – by allowing his Son, Jesus, to feel that loneliness too. It’s like that old adage, “misery loves company.” Adam was miserably alone, so Jesus becomes miserably alone, to keep him company. Something deeply psychologically happens to us when we learn another person shares our sorrows: we find immense consolation and comfort, healing and hope. Why else do so many grieving people go to support groups – every sad story of woe seems to lighten our own crosses of pain and loss. All humanity seems to be sitting in a huge circle, a support group, where we all feel alone. And what happens? Suddenly, Jesus comes into the circle, pulls up a chair, and says, “I’m feeling alone, too!” And knowing that he is with us, that he shares our sorrows, especially our loneliness, is no small comfort.

To everyone who has felt alone for whatever reason, Jesus says to you: “You are not alone.” To my grieving brother and sister-in-law whose son died last year, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every married person experiencing alienation even in the marital bed, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every divorced person who has seen their life shattered by separation, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every widow who’s lost a husband and widowers who’ve lost a wife, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every priest sitting alone in his rectory on Sunday evening drinking beer and watching football, and to every nun in her solitary cloister cell, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every person living in a bustling big city but feels like he or she walks by themselves, Jesus says: “You are not alone.” To every soldier who laid down his life for his or her country, Jesus says: “You did not die alone.”

Notice how Jesus rarely takes away our loneliness – even though we pray fervently that he would! – but he always comes alongside and assures us we are not alone. You know, whenever I get sick, I become a big baby, and I just want my mom to be close by. Somehow her presence assures me that everything will be okay. She may not heal me, but her beautiful smile, the touch of her hand, and her kisses on my forehead give me strength and hope. When I visit someone in the hospital, especially when the person is dying, I try to assure them: “You are not alone; Jesus is with you. He is holding you and he will never let go.”

When God observed in Genesis that “it is not good for the man to be alone,” God did not entirely remove Adam’s loneliness, or ours. But God did match that loneliness with the loneliness of his Son, and seeing that Jesus sits with us in the same support group of grief gives us strength and hope. That is how God answers most of our prayers: not by giving us what we ask for, but by giving us his Son, who walks with us. Jesus walks with even Eleanor Rigby.

Praised be Jesus Christ!