Loving like the Holy Spirit
John 14:15-21
Jesus said to his
disciples: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the
Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit
of truth, whom the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows him. But
you know him, because he remains with you, and will be in you. I will not leave
you orphans; I will come to you. In a little while the world will no longer see
me, but you will see me, because I live
and you will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father and you
are in me and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and observes them is the
one who loves me. And whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will
love him and reveal myself to him.”
This
summer we will celebrate a number of big anniversaries. Gene and Ruth Bruick will complete 60 years
of wedded bliss, Ed and Lona Seiter also thank God for 60 years, and Leo and
Barbara Anhalt will only have been married for 50 years, just spring
chickens! When you get to such
milestones, people always want to know the secret of your success. Well, I’ve figured it out. Here it is:
Everybody on earth dies and goes to
heaven. God comes and says, “I want the
men to form two queues: one line for men that dominated their wives on earth,
and the other line for the men who were dominated by their wives. Also, I want all the women to go with St.
Peter.” The next time God looked, the
women are gone, and there are two lines.
The line for the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles
long, and in the line of men who dominated their women, there was only one
man. God got mad and said, “You men
should be ashamed of yourselves. I
created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up
and made me proud. Learn from Him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be
the only one in this line?” The man
replied, “I don’t know. My wife told me
to stand here.” See what I missed out on
by becoming a priest? Now which one of
us made the real sacrifice? What a great
question: How do people stay married for 40, 50 and 60 years?
People have been trying to answer
that question since the time of Adam and Eve, the first married couple. You’ll probably get a different answer
depending on which couple you ask. But
if you push and probe far enough, I think any couple will admit that besides
patience and kindness and forgiveness and good communication, something else is
needed. They perceive a certain (as the
French say) “je ne sais quoi,” (literally, “I don’t know what”) something you
can’t put your finger on, an intangible but real presence in their marriage. And I believe that is the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is exactly that extra something –
really that extra Someone – who helps you go the long-distance in love.
Catholic
theology teaches that the Holy Spirit is the love exchanged between the Father
and the Son in heaven: it binds them together and makes them one for eternity
in heaven. Now, when a couple stays
married that long, they mysteriously invite the Spirit to be a full partner in
their marriage. When a spouse dies after
a long and loving marriage the widow or widower not only misses the spouse but
also the Holy Spirit they shared. That’s
why their ache of loss is so deep. You
see, marriage isn’t about who dominates whom, but about both being dominated by
the Spirit of love.
This is what Jesus promises the
disciples in the gospel today: he will send them the Spirit. The scene is the Last Supper and Jesus shares
his most intimate thoughts and hopes with his closest friends. He says, “I will ask the Father, and he will
give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth.” In other words, the same Spirit that binds
the Father and the Son in heaven will be poured into the hearts of the
disciples at Pentecost. Why? So they will love like Jesus: the Jesus who
washes feet, the Jesus who forgives the woman caught in adultery, the Jesus who
prayed for his executioners from the Cross.
That’s superhuman love, the love of anniversaries that last 40, 50 and
60 years. Scott Hahn once made this
staggering statement, see if you can catch his logic. He said, “What Jesus did for 33 years on
earth is exactly what he had done for eternity in heaven, he loved his
Father. It’s just that on earth, that
love looks like the Cross.” Let me
repeat that: “What Jesus did for 33 years on earth is exactly what he had done
for eternity in heaven, he loved his Father.
It’s just that on earth, that love looks like the Cross.” Jesus did not dominate others, nor was he
dominated by others; he was filled with the Holy Spirit of love.
This weekend I am also celebrating
my ordination anniversary. I was
ordained on May 25, 1996 and have been a priest for 18 years. Do you know how many parishes I’ve served in
as a priest? 15! I’m not sure I want to highlight that on my
resume: apparently, I can’t hold down a steady job! Even though I am not married, I have tried to
love the parishes I’ve served with the love that the Father and Son share, the
love of the Holy Spirit. You see, it’s
still love. Being a pastor is not about
dominating the parish, bossing others around.
It’s also not about being dominated by others and showing no backbone in
preaching the hard messages. It’s about
loving like Jesus did, inspired by the Spirit. If I invite that Spirit to flood
my heart, I might also one day celebrate 40, or 50 or even 60 years as a
priest. You’ll be pleased to know that
one of our former pastors, Msgr. John O’Donnell is celebrating 60 years as a
priest this year. He was helped not only
by the Holy Spirit but also a lot of Irish blarney!
Today I want to remember in a
special way all those who struggle to experience a long-lasting love: those who
were widowed at an early age, those who have suffered a divorce, those who have
never married. We all long for a love
that lasts 50, 60, 75 years, and only the Holy Spirit can make human love last
that long. You see, true love has little
to do with butterflies in your stomach, but everything to do with a dove in
your soul (a dove symbolizes the Spirit).
Bring the Spirit into your marriage by attending church together, praying
together before bed, and especially receiving the sacraments together.
What is
the secret to a long-lasting love on earth?
It’s the same secret to a long-lasting love in heaven. That secret is the Holy Spirit. May Jesus give each of us an abundant share
of his Spirit today!
Praised be
Jesus Christ!
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