Beloved Physician

 Seeking healing for the whole person

10/18/2021

Lk 10:1-9 The Lord Jesus appointed seventy-two disciples whom he sent ahead of him in pairs to every town and place he intended to visit. He said to them, “The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest. Go on your way; behold, I am sending you like lambs among wolves. Carry no money bag, no sack, no sandals; and greet no one along the way. Into whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this household.’ If a peaceful person lives there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you. Stay in the same house and eat and drink what is offered to you, for the laborer deserves payment. Do not move about from one house to another. Whatever town you enter and they welcome you, eat what is set before you, cure the sick in it and say to them, ‘The Kingdom of God is at hand for you.’”

I recently discovered this humorous history of medicine. A patient comes to a doctor and complains: “I have an ear ache.” In the year 2000 B.C. the doctor responds: “Here, eat this root.” In the year 1000 B.C. the doctor would reply: “That root is heathen, say this prayer.” In the year 1850 A.D., the doctor answered, “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.” In the year 1940, the doctor might advise: “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.” In the year 1985, the doctor would suggest: “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.” And in the year 2021, the doctor says: “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.” In other words, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

That short history of medicine should be something students of osteopathic medicine would be very familiar. Why? Well because their concern is to heal the whole person and not limit themselves to pills and surgical procedures. In 1892, Dr. Andrew T. Still obtained a state charter to establish the first osteopathic school in Missouri. He was dissatisfied with the approach of 19th century medicine and sought a more holistic approach focusing on the musculoskeletal system as a key element of health. Dr. Still wanted to step back and see the whole person, and understood that sometimes the best advice a doctor can give is, “Eat this root.” He wanted to get to the real "root" of healing.

Another great physician who wanted to get to the real root of healing was St. Luke, whose feast day is October 18th (today). Luke was St. Paul’s close collaborator and companion, and in his letter to the Colossians, Paul writes: “Luke, the beloved physician sends greetings” (Col. 4:14). As a good doctor, Luke was very familiar with all the prayers and potions and pills available in his day for healing the whole person. But he gave up being a doctor of the body to become a doctor of the soul by joining Paul on his missionary journeys. Why?

Well, Luke, the beloved physician, understood that there is only one way to heal the whole person and that is the Resurrection on the last day. In other words, no matter what kind of medicine you practice, and no matter how much medicine advances as a science, every patient you will ever treat will eventually die. Do you realize that? Every patient suffers from a terminal illness called “life.” And the only antidote for that ailment is faith in Jesus Christ that offers us eternal life and not just earthly life. That is why St. Paul could still call Luke a “physician” – he was still concerned with healing the whole person, but he now wanted to heal people permanently, indeed, eternally.

Do you know who taught me this powerful lesson of permanent healing that faith affords us? It is our Hispanic patients. Several times I have been called to the hospital where a Hispanic patient is suffering from some serious illness like cancer. Once I walked into the room while the doctor was describing the various treatment options. The patient, a devout Hispanic person of deep faith, looked over to me and asked, “Fr. John, what do you recommend?” I was surprised and answered: “I don’t know! Do whatever the doctor says!” The patient finally did what the doctor recommended.

But I have never forgotten that little exchange. The patient was wanting my counsel about holistic healing, which means body and soul, earthly life and eternal life, being healthy in the here and the here-after. That Hispanic patient’s question, strange as it sounded to my modern ears, carried the spirit of Dr. Andrew T. Still, and the legacy of St. Luke, the beloved physician. How can I be healed forever?

And that is the question I would like to leave you with today. Are you really interested in healing the whole person? Are you trying to find the real roots of good medicine? Then remember that every patient you treat suffers from a terminal illness called “life.” And sometimes the best medical advice in the year 2000 B.C. or in 2000 A.D. is to get a second opinion from a “beloved physician” who is a doctor of the soul.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Pew Position

Sitting in church as a reflection of our discipleship

11/17/2021

Mk 10:35-45 James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and said to him, "Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you." He replied, "What do you wish me to do for you?" They answered him, "Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left." Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?" They said to him, "We can." Jesus said to them, "The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared." When the ten heard this, they became indignant at James and John. Jesus summoned them and said to them, "You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

People are very particular about where they like to sit when they go out to different places. If we go to a live Zac Brown concert, for instance, we want to sit as close to the action as possible. If we are lucky, some sweat from the band will drip on us like holy water from heaven. If we attend a Razorback football game, we try to grab a 50 yard-line seat so we can yell at the referees and hopefully change a bad call. And if we come to church on Sunday, we sit as far away from the pulpit and the priest as possible. That reminds me of this little joke.

Back in the days before churches had wireless microphones, a preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mic attached to a long cord. As he preached and moved around the podium, he would jerk the mic cord as he went. Sometimes he might move to one side and get tangled in the cord and trip and jerk the cord again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, “If he gets loose, will he hurt us?” And that is why we sit as far back from the pulpit and priest as possible, because “if he gets loose, he may hurt us.”

In the gospel today, James and John are in search of special seats, too, and they would like to sit close to Christ. They request seats for the Resurrection when Jesus returns in glory, asking: “Grant that in your glory we may sit one at your right and the other at your left.” James and John wanted to be close to Jesus like we want to be close to the Zac Brown Band in concert. And Jesus’ sweat in the Garden of Gethsemane really was holy water from heaven because it turned into his most Precious Blood, which we hope will fall on us at Mass.

But like the little girl in the third pew wondered about the danger of getting too close to Christ, so Jesus warned his disciples: “Can you drink the cup that I drink?” He was talking, of course, about the cup of suffering and death. In other words, that little girl was spot on about sitting too close to Christ the High Priest as he preaches from the pulpit of the Cross. If Jesus gets loose in our lives, he may hurt us, by inviting us to carry our cross. So sometimes we sit a safe distance from our Savior as far back in church as possible.

Indeed, Mk 10:45 – the last line in the gospel we heard today – is a succinct summary of the entire second gospel, where Jesus states: “For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life (to suffer and die) as a ransom for many.” Before you start jockeying for position at the Parousia at the second coming of Christ, be sure to count the cost of letting Jesus loose in your life.

My friends, I believe that where we sit in general, but especially where we sit in church at Mass, can be a good measure of our discipleship to a large extent. This rule may not apply in every case; nonetheless, it is typically true that when you sit in the last pews in church, your commitment level to Christ may be somewhat minimal. As you move up the body of the church, closer to the altar, however, you begin to feel a stronger faith and concomitant desire to do more.

Who are the people who sit closest to the altar and pulpit? They are the lectors who read the Scriptures, and the Eucharistic Ministers who distribute Holy Communion. And inside the sanctuary itself are the priests, deacons and altar servers. Please don’t misunderstand me – I do not mean to measure anyone’s heart (I don’t even dare to measure my own). But at least in terms of external commitment, we certainly say something about the depth of our discipleship by our pew position at Mass.

Lest you feel I am pointing fingers at others, let me use my own family as an example of what I mean. When I was growing up my family did more or less the minimum, and we sat close to the back of church. We attended Mass on Sunday but that was about it. We did the three things all good Catholics should do: pray, pay and obey. But as my family’s faith grew, so did our level of involvement in church activities.

My father served on the church finance council, my sister Mary leads the RCIA, my sister-in-law Susan is youth minister, my brother Paul teaches confirmation class and serves on the board of the Catholic High school. And me? I am just trying not to get tangle in the microphone cord. Over the years, though, something else has happened to my family: we gradually moved closer to the front pews at Mass. That is, we have sort of let Jesus loose in our lives, and he has not hurt us, but rather he has healed us and helped us to carry our cross as good disciples.

Again, don’t get me wrong: our journey with Jesus is deeply personal and no one else can judge us, except God himself. Still, sometimes we can see small steps of that larger journey with Jesus in our little journey up the center aisle of the church as we pick our pews and where we sit at Mass. As you jockey for position Sunday after Sunday, remember that sitting safely in the back may not be the best way to pick your pew.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Birth and Breasts

Appreciating our natural and supernatural mothers

10/09/2021

Lk 11:27-28 While Jesus was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed.” He replied, “Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.”

There is probably no one on earth who will love you quite like your mother. I say this with all due respect to dads, of course, who also love their children but in different ways. For example, only a mother actually carries you in her womb for nine months before you ever see the light of day. She loved you long before anyone else ever even saw and loved you. Then, she alone endures the pains of childbirth, although often she wishes she could share that privilege with her husband.

And then she alone nurses the baby at her breast, feeding the child with the best milk and nurturing him with her look of unconditional love. It is said a baby’s eyesight can only focus between six inches to a foot, about the distance between a baby and a mother’s face while the baby is nursing at her breast. Baby and mother exchange very loving looks.

In the gospel today, someone – she must have been a mother – is moved by this same maternal privilege in relation to Jesus. She spontaneously exclaims: “Blessed is the womb that carried you, and the breast at which you nursed.” This woman was keenly aware that few people on earth ever love someone as much as their mother.

So, if it is a question of loving Jesus, then no one loved him more than his own mother, who carried him in her womb, gave birth to him and nursed him at her breast. Jesus, at least in his human nature, discovered the look of unconditional love in the eyes of his mother Mary, as she held him at her breast. Her loving eyes were the first things our Lord focused on.

But Jesus uses this exclamation of maternal love to shift the conversation onto a spiritual plane. That is, Jesus tries to teach the people the value of doing God’s will that will be nurtured in us by another mother, namely, Mother Church. Our spiritual mother, the Church, also carries us in her womb for nine months (like she does for RCIA candidates), and gives us birth in the waters of baptism.

Jesus explicitly ties baptism to birth in his conversation with Nicodemus in Jn 3, where he insists we must be “born again.” And then Mother Church will nourish us with her milk which is the Eucharist, the food of eternal life, as our Lord explains in Jn 6:51, “He who eats my flesh will live forever.” A mother’s milk is made of her own substance; her food is herself.

But beyond birth and breast-feeding is hearing and observing God’s word and will. I am always amazed by my parents, who often tell me: "Son, take care of your parish first.” (Aren’t you glad to hear that?) I know they would love for me to come to Springdale and spend time with them. My mom always throws up her arms and gives me a big hug whenever I walk in the door. No emperor ever had a better welcome reception.

Still, both my mom and dad would insist that these earthly obligations are secondary to my spiritual obligations as a priest. That is, as a priest of Mother Church, I must be a model of that unconditional love of a mother and give birth to new children of God by baptism and nurse them with the milk of the Eucharist, the Body of Christ. My parents know well that more important than the womb that carried me and the breasts that nursed me is my hearing the word of God and observing the will of God.

Today, take a minute to thank your mom for being the face of unconditional love for you. It was her womb that carried you and her eyes that gazed loving on you as she fed you with herself. But also thank God for the gift of Mother Church, who also gave you a spiritual birth in baptism and feeds you with the Flesh and Blood (the spiritual milk) of the Eucharist. And how blessed will you be if both your natural mother and your supernatural mother teach you to “hear the word of God and observe it.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!

 

Eating Elephants

Learning the perfection of the Lord’s Prayer

10/06/2021

Lk 11:1-4 Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.” He said to them, “When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name, your Kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread and forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us, and do not subject us to the final test.”

How do you eat an elephant? Easy: one bite at a time. In other words, you don’t look at the bigness of the beast but on the smallness of the bite. And I should know because I am from India and we eat lots of elephants. Just kidding. I adopt the same approach to the study of the Scripture, that is, rather than be overwhelmed by the bigness of the bible, I try to see the smallness of each book, and break it down into bite-sized sections. For instance, you can divide the whole bible into the Old Testament (46 books) and the New Testament (27 books).

Each individual book can be further broken down. For example, Isaiah has 3 distinct divisions: First Isaiah (cc. 1-39), Second Isaiah (cc. 40-55), and Third Isaiah (cc. 56-66). The same goes for the Acts of the Apostles, which can be subdivided into two major halves. The first half is about the person and prestige of St. Peter (cc. 1-12), and the second half is more about the missionary meanderings of St. Paul (cc. 13-28). See how eating elephants is easy peasy?

Folks, may I suggest that we also adopt this approach when we peek at the Lord’s Prayer (today’s gospel) but only in the opposite direction? That is, the Lord’s Prayer is already the bite-sized summary of the whole Christian faith. The second-century writer, Tertullian said that the Lord’s Prayer is “truly a summary of the whole gospel.” St. Thomas Aquinas added: “The Lord’s Prayer is the most perfect of prayers.” And a modern theologian commented colorfully: “The Lord’s Prayer is simple like a shallow pool for small children to splash around in but also big like the ocean to drown elephants.” Sorry to be so tough on elephants today: first I’m eating them and now I’m drowning them.

One reason Aquinas argued the Lord’s Prayer was so “perfect” is because it contains seven petitions, and seven is the number of perfection. The first three petitions concern God, and the last four address our own needs. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “The first series of petitions carries us toward God; for his own sake: thy name, thy kingdom, thy will” (no. 2804). It adds a little later: “By the first three petitions, we are strengthened in faith, filled with hope, and set aflame by charity” (no. 2806). In other words, the first part of the Lord’s Prayer is designed to help us grow in faith, hope and love. How perfect is that?

But the second section of four petitions is equally elegant and even Eucharistic. The Catechism continues: “The second series of petitions unfolds with the same movement as certain Eucharistic epicleses…give us…forgive us…leads us not…deliver us” (no. 2805). But by far my favorite of the seven petitions is the fourth one, where we say: “Give us this day our daily bread.” Why?

The Catechism provides the answer again: “The specifically Christian sense of the fourth petition concerns the Bread of Life: the Word of God accepted in faith, the Body of Christ received in the Eucharist” (no. 2835). That is, we are asking our heavenly Father to feed us his beloved children with heavenly Bread, the Body and Blood of his Beloved son, Jesus. The old adage teaches: you are what you eat. So, if we eat the Body of Christ, we will become the Body of Christ.

You know, I must really be hungry this morning because I am talking a lot about eating: first eating elephants and now eating the Eucharist. But I believe we are all hungry for something, or better yet, for Someone, and that Someone is Jesus. We will be hungry for him no matter how many elephants we eat. He is the answer to every prayer and especially to the seven petitions of the Our Father. If the Our Father is the summary of the whole gospel, then Jesus himself is the summary of the Our Father. And that is why it is called the “Lord’s Prayer.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!

 

Because We Forget

Trying to remember the Lord who loves us

10/05/2021

Mt 11:25-30 At that time Jesus answered: "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him. "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

I don’t usually cry during movies, but one had me balling like a baby. Did you ever see the movie “The Notebook” starring Ryan Gosling and Rachael McAdams? It is about a young couple that falls in love one summer, and through lots of twists and turns, finally ends up married and living in their dream home. By the end of their life, they are both in a nursing home, and the man visits the woman every day and reads to her from “the notebook.”

Sadly, though, she has dementia and cannot recognize her husband who comes to see her. While she was still mentally sharp, though, she had written the notebook about their romance and life together. By the time the man finishes reading the notebook, she suddenly recognizes him and they dance for five minutes, before she sadly forgets again. I am not going to tell you how it ends, but be sure to have a box of Kleenex if you do watch it.

I mention the movie “The Notebook” because today is the feast of St. Faustina, also known as the “apostle of divine Mercy.” She was a Polish nun who only lived for 33 years (just like Jesus) and she also wrote a record of her romance with Jesus. Most people know her writing as “The Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy in my Soul.” But do you know what she called her writings? She called it “The Notebook.” If you read the Diary you will see that she refers to different parts as “the notebook.”

I don’t know how long Racheal McAdams’ Notebook was but St. Faustina wrote six notebooks totaling 477 pages of written text. St. Faustina’s notebook (or Diary), like that in the movie, is also about a love affair, with wild twists and turns, that eventually ends in a mystical marriage, and the happy couple end up living in their dream home, the Father’s Mansion in heaven. The first time Jesus got her attention was when she was only 19 and on the way to a dance with her sister.

At the dance, she heard Jesus saying to her: “How long shall I put up with you and how long will you keep putting me off?” Without telling her parents, and without any real plan or preparation, she boarded a train for Warsaw, about 85 miles away. All she took with her was the dress she was wearing and her love for Jesus. She approached several convents until one Mother Superior finally accepted her on probation, until she earned enough money to pay for her habit. Lucky Mother Superior!

Why did St. Faustina write her Diary? I would suggest to you it was for the same reason that Rachael McAdams wrote her Notebook. That is, it was not because St. Faustina had dementia but because you and I have dementia. What do I mean? Well, St. Faustina is not only chronicling her love affair with Jesus but also trying to trigger our muddled memories and help us to remember our own love affair with Jesus.

And in our best moments in prayer – at Mass when a homily really hits us, or a scripture passage jumps off the sacred page, or in Adoration we feel we could stay with Jesus forever like Peter, James and John on Mt. Tabor at the Transfiguration – for a few fleeting moments we remember who we are, and what our life has been all about, and who our real romance has been with, and that we are headed for a mystical marriage with our Beloved and to live in our dream home in heaven. And then we dance with Jesus. But then, just as suddenly, we forget again, and go back to life as before, and do not know the Lord.

Folks, can I give you a little homework today? I know you are busy and do not have time. But really, you do not have time for anything else more important. Do three things today: watch the movie “The Notebook” (and have Kleenex handy), read a few pages from the real Notebook of St. Faustina, her Diary, and then go to Mass to receive Holy Communion. Jesus said in the words of consecration over the wine: “Do this in memory of me.” Why did he say that? Because we forget.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

 

Francis Four Loves

Learning how to love like St. Francis of Assisi

10/04/2021

Mt 11:25-30 At that time Jesus answered: "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Sonand anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him. "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

There is probably no saint more popular than St. Francis of Assisi, whose feast day we celebrate today October 4. As soon as my parents moved into their new home in Springdale, they placed a statue of St. Francis in front of their home. St. Francis is cherished by Catholics and Protestants alike, and loved by all Christians. Children gravitate to his goodness because they naturally share his love of nature. Little boys and girls easily could call creation, “Brother Sun,” and “Sister Moon.” Most people know the basic bio of this Italian saint: he was born in 1182 and died on October 3, 1226. He lived in Assisi and founded a religious order called the Order of Friars Minor, or “Franciscans.” But let me share four things about Francis with which you may not be so familiar. Four things that Francis loved.

First, did you know Francis had a girlfriend and a wife? One day as a young man, a friend asked Francis if he was thinking of marrying, and he replied: “Yes, a fairer bride than any you have ever seen.” He meant, of course, Lady Poverty, that is, the virtue of strict simplicity. Even though Francis grew up in a wealthy family, he abandoned his wealth to marry Lady Poverty. One day Francis’ father, deeply disappointed in his son, took him before the bishop of Assisi and demanded that Francis return the money he had given away to the poor. According to tradition, Francis removed all his clothes to give back to his father and stood before everyone naked like Christ on the Cross. The bishop was so moved he put his own robes on Francis. Francis loved Lady Poverty.

Second, did you know Francis is the one who made the first Nativity scene? In 1223 Francis asked Pope Honorius for permission to do something “for the kindling of devotion” to the birth of Christ. So, he built a manger, placed hay inside as a bed for Baby Jesus, and put an ox and a donkey on either side to watch over the newborn King. That was the first Nativity scene. Seventy years later, in 1291, Pope Nicholas IV, a Franciscan pope (good to have a Franciscan in high places), ordered that a permanent Nativity be built at Santa Maria Maggiore (St. Mary Major). By the way, inside St. Mary Major is the actual “crib of Christ” from Bethlehem, under the high altar of the church. I saw it with my own eyes. So, give Francis credit for the Nativity.

Third, did you know that Franciscans are the protectors of the Holy Land? In 1217 Francis made the Holy Land part of the responsibility of his order by erecting the “Custody of the Holy Land,” or the “Province of the Holy Land.” If you visit the Holy Land today and go to the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, who will greet you and explain its history and holiness? It will be a humble Franciscan friar who was sent there by St. Francis. So, if you ever make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, say a prayer of Thanksgiving to St. Francis who sent his brothers to watch over it and to welcome you.

And fourth, did you know St. Francis originally wrote the well-known hymn called “All Creatures of our God and King”? In 1225 Francis wrote a poem first entitled Canticle of the Sun,” or “Song of all Creatures.” It was based on Ps. 148, which sadly was not our Responsorial Psalm today. St. Francis is also said to have preached little sermons to animals and plants and birds and rabbits, and inspired them to praise their Creator, a little like how my homilies hope to get you to praise your Creator. But Francis’ sermons were more successful because the birds never fell asleep. Maybe Francis’ example is why people talk to their plants today?

Last Saturday Fr. Daniel blessed everyone’s pets in honor of St. Francis of Assisi. That gesture was a great reminder of this holy and humble friar named Francis. But he did more than love animals. He loved Lady Poverty, he loved the Nativity, he loved the Holy Land, and he loved “All Creatures of our God and King.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!

 

Ask the Experts

Understanding God’s plan for marriage

10/03/2021

Mk 10:2-16 The Pharisees approached Jesus and asked, "Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?" They were testing him. He said to them in reply, "What did Moses command you?" They replied, "Moses permitted a husband to write a bill of divorce and dismiss her." But Jesus told them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." In the house the disciples again questioned Jesus about this. He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." And people were bringing children to him that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he became indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Then he embraced them and blessed them, placing his hands on them.

Parishioners often ask me to address marriage and family life in my homilies. So, I decided to ask the experts about the meaning of marriage. Here is the sage advice of the rich and famous on marriage, who are clearly the experts on marriage, since they have so much experience. Erma Bombeck wrote: “People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.” Ann Bancroft advised: “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” Ann knows how to motivate men.

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates opined: “By all means marry; if you get a good wife or husband, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” (Like Socrates.) Comedian Bonnie McFarlane quipped: “I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, ‘Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!’” And the famous Zsa Zsa Gabor stated wisely: “A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.” Poor Zsa Zsa was married nine times. Folks, there you have the advice of the foremost experts in the field of love and marriage.

In the gospel today, the Pharisees also seek some expert advice about marriage and divorce and they ask the Expert on Everything, namely, Jesus. The Pharisees ask: “Is it lawful for a husband to divorce his wife?" And they add that Moses permitted divorce, because who could be more an expert on God’s plan for marriage than Moses? But Jesus disagrees with Moses, saying instead: “Because of the hardness of your hearts [Moses] wrote you this commandment.”

And then our Lord quotes from Gn 2:24, God’s original plan for marriage, saying: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate." In other words, this is not Zsa Zsa Gabor’s advice, this is God Almighty’s advice about the meaning of marriage, and marriage means until death do you part.

Then Jesus summons some unexpected experts on marriage, namely, children. By the way, the second section of today’s gospel – where Jesus blesses the little children – seems somewhat unrelated or disconnected to the foregoing section on marriage. That is why it is an optional part that we can skip today. But for once in my life I did the longer reading! Why? Well, I am convinced that this second section is not unrelated but rather closely connected to the previous part about marriage. How so?

Well, who are the real experts on marriage? I would submit to you, it is the children, who intuitively grasp God’s plan for marriage in Genesis, namely, it is life-long, until death do you part. In other words, small children understand marriage better than Moses, because children do not want to see their parents divorce. Hence, Jesus states: “Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child (who see things like life-long marriage) will not enter it.” If you want to ask the experts about marriage and divorce, ask your children.

My friends, I am convinced that the meaning of marriage is in deep crisis in our country. Here are six surprising statistics about the slow untying of the sacred knot of marriage. First, there are over 750,000 divorces granted in the United States every year. Second, the United States leads the world in the highest number of divorces, at roughly 50% of all marriages ending in divorce.

Third, even though recent statistics show a decrease in divorces, that is also due to the fact that more people choose to cohabitate rather than marry. That is, when cohabitating couples separate there is no divorce divorce, so it seems like fewer divorces. Fourth, the average length of marriage in the U.S. is 8.2 years. So if you celebrated your 10th wedding anniversary – congratulations, you beat the odds! Fifth, what is the main motive for divorce in the United States? 43% of people surveyed said “basic incompatibility,” but infidelity and money issues were also big factors.

Folks, I know this is a touchy topic and has caused a lot of heartache for many families sitting in the pews today. Catholics marry and divorce at the same rate as the rest of the population. I do not mean to come across flippant or insensitive or make you feel guilty, and I apologize if that is how I sound. But I believe that part of the problem is where we turn for advice about the meaning of marriage. That is, who are the experts we ask? A sixth surprising stat was people are 75% more likely to end their marriage if a friend is divorced. The Pharisees asked their friend Moses for advice, but he was mistaken about marriage, too.

Instead, I suggest we seek counsel from the Scriptures, from Church teaching, and especially from small children. Why? Because when it comes to marriage, we should ask the real experts, not those with the most experience.

Praised be Jesus Christ!