Living Vicariously

Seeking the Father’s will

Matthew 20:20-23

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said in reply, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.” He replied, “My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

             One of the perennial problems that parents face is trying to live “vicariously” through their children.  Now, maybe I have no business telling parents their business, since I don’t have any children of my own.  But you know, there are 6,000 people in Fort Smith who call me “Father,” so I’ll keep going!  Some parents live “vicariously” through their children’s lives; moms and dads feel that what their children get, somehow they get it, too!  And what their children don’t get, they don’t get!  How many horror stories are there of a dad who goes “postal” when his son strikes out in a little league baseball game, yelling and cursing at the umpire?  It’s almost as if the dad thinks it happened to him.  How many weddings are ruined by an overbearing mother of the bride because she couldn’t give her daughter the wedding that she never had?  I always wonder: “Whose wedding is this, anyway??”  Of course, parents immediately answer, “We’re doing all this for our children and their happiness!”  But I suspect there’s also a subtle selfish motivation below the surface.

             In the gospel today, we see another mother living vicariously through her sons.  The mother of James and John approaches Jesus and asks him to place her two boys in the seats of highest honor in the kingdom.  I’m sure if anyone had asked Mrs. Zebedee why she was making such a request, she’d answer, “It’s for my boys, of course!”  But don’t you think it was also a little bit for herself?  What her sons get, she also gets.  Jesus gentle corrects her, saying, “That’s not how this works. Those seats are reserved by my Father to assign as he pleases.”  In other words, Mrs. Zebedee, don’t live vicariously through your sons, but rather tell your boys to seek the place the Father has reserved for THEM.  They, too, have a special place, but it's not that one.  You see, God is the only Father who did not live vicariously through his Son – thinking his Son always deserved the best – but he let Jesus fulfill his mission by suffering and dying on the Cross.  The only way NOT to live vicariously through your children is to teach them to seek God’s will, rather than the will of their mother or father.

            You know, all parents want what’s best for their children.  My parents came half-way across the world to give their children the best in a new country.  Parents save and sacrifice to send their children to Catholic schools to give them the best education.  You give your children the best food, the best clothes, the best upbringing.  But are you sure you always know what’s best for them? Sometimes, maybe what’s best is for your son to strike out in the little league game so he'll learn how not be a sore loser.  Perhaps it’s best for your daughter to have a simple wedding, and not a wedding like William and Kate in Westminster Cathedral.  Maybe what's best is for your children is not to sit at Jesus' left and right in his kingdom.  Maybe what’s best is for your Son to die a shameful and humiliating death on the Cross.  Do you always know what's best for your children? 

             You see, the only way to stop that sinister selfishness of living vicariously through our children is to teach them to seek God’s will in their lives, and not their parents’ will.  Today, you try to do that with your kids, and I’ll try to do that with my 6,000 kids.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Go Climb a Mountain

Humbling ourselves

Matthew 23:6-12

Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, “The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation ‘Rabbi.’ As for you, do not be called ‘Rabbi.’ You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers. Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Do not be called ‘Master’; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

                “Would you like to be a bishop?” was a question that someone once asked me.  I replied, “Heck no!”  I explained, “It’s a lot easier to be a shepherd to the sheep than a shepherd to the shepherds!”  I remember once asking my little nephew that same question once, and he gave the same answer, but for a different reason.  He said, “I don’t want to be a bishop.  I want to be the pope!”  I have a priest friend who has a different perspective.  He happily says, “I would love to be a bishop, but I want to be an “auxiliary bishop.”  Those guys get all the titles and perks, but don’t have any of the problems and headaches!”  Last year, you might remember that Pope Francis had a little advice for ambitious priests.  He said: “And in the Church there are ‘climbers,’ people driven by ambition.  But if you like climbing, go to the mountains and climb them; it is a lot healthier.”  That is, the Church has no room for ambitious priests.

                 One of my favorite Shakespearean soliloquies was delivered by Henry V, where the king disguises himself as a common solider, and speaks to his men to cheer them up before a big battle.  The king laments to himself: “What infinite hearts-ease must kings neglect,  that private men enjoy!  And what have kings that privates have not too, save ceremony, save general ceremony?  And what art thou, thou idle ceremony?”  In other words, all kings really enjoy is a bunch of pomp and circumstance, which is not worth much compared to the heartaches and headaches.  Sounds like Henry V would have liked to be an auxiliary bishop!

                In the gospel today, Jesus is telling his disciples that same thing: don’t pursue the pomp and circumstance if you want to be my follower.  He tells them to avoid the titles like “rabbi,” and “father” and “master,” and “auxiliary bishop”!  Instead, he urges: “The greatest among you must be your servant.  Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”  Isn’t that what Henry did in laying aside his royal robes and serving his men by cheering them up?  Henry humbled himself, and therefore he was exalted as the ideal king.

                 Did you know there is both “bad ambition” as well as “good ambition”?  So far, we’ve been talking about bad ambition, but St. Paul talks about good ambition in his first letter to the Corinthians, where he says, “Be ambitious for the greatest spiritual gifts.  But I shall show you a still more excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:31).  Do you know what comes next?  One of the greatest soliloquies in the whole Scriptures: St. Paul’s famous ode to love, where he writes, “Love is patient, love is kind, etc.”  In other words, we should have a healthy drive, ambition and enthusiasm, but that must all be directed properly: not to being auxiliary bishop or pope or to seek the flimsy fame of pomp and circumstance, but rather to humble service and heart-felt love.  You see, it’s because Pope Francis would rather NOT be pope or bishop that he’s just the right man for the job.  It’s because King Henry would rather remove his royal robes and cheer up his people that he was the ideal king.  He who humbles himself will be exalted.  And that is good ambition.

                Praised be Jesus Christ!

I Wish

Praying to our heavenly Father

Matthew 6:7-14

Jesus said to his disciples: “In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. “This is how you are to pray: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

            If you fortuitously found a genie in a bottle who offered you three wishes, what would you wish for?  In these scenarios people usually ask for loads of money or cars and houses or long life, or for the Razorbacks to win the national championship (because they put a big bet on them). But I want to burst out: “Ask for more wishes!”  Why can’t anyone figure that out??  Do you remember that 1960’s sit-com called, “I Dream of Jeannie”?  In the very first episode, an Air Force captain crashes on a deserted island and finds a bottle with a beautiful genie.  And do you know what he asks for?  He asks for a helicopter to come rescue him so he can go home.  Think about that for a minute: you are on a deserted island, with a beautiful genie who calls you “master,” and you ask for a helicopter.  Really??  If you were in that position, what would you wish for?  I would say, “More wishes!”

             In the gospel today Jesus helps us think about what we should request, not from a genie, but from God.  Jesus knows that sometimes we tend to look at God more like a “genie” than like a Father.  Jesus says, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”  And that’s precisely the problem: when we pray, we’re really asking for what we “want” – what we wish for – instead of what we really need.  And when God answers “no” to our prayers, could that not mean that we really don’t “need” those things but they are really something we want or wish?  Every time God says “no” to a prayer it’s a painful but necessary reminder that we’re not dealing with a genie in heaven, but a Father in heaven.  And good fathers don’t give their kids everything they wish for.  Maybe what we “need” the most is to remember that God is our Father who will always take care of us, regardless of whether he says “yes” or “no” to our prayers.  That's our greatest need.  That’s why the Lord’s Prayer, the Our Father, is not a laundry list of our wishes.  We don't pray: "Our Father, who art in heaven, let me win the lottery today, let me never grow old, give me this day a skinny body, and lead me into more and more wishes.”

            Last Saturday, a very thoughtful young man named Trey asked me a question that all thoughtful people ponder sooner or later.  He asked, “Why did God create a world in which there is suffering and sin and pain?”  I replied, “Why do you think he did?”  Trey thought for a moment and said, “I guess so we would have freedom to choose between good and bad, and suffering is the consequences of our sinful choices.”  I said, “That’s a great answer!”  But I added, “It’s also because if there were a better world, wouldn’t God have created that one instead of this one?  And so if God, in all his wisdom and love, chose to create this world, we must already be living in the best possible world.”  In other words, there’s no need to wish for a better world in which there is no sin and suffering or pain, where we're all rich and beautiful and never die, because we’re already living in the best world God could have created.

            But here’s the catch: this world was created by a Father and not by a genie, who doesn’t want his children to be spoiled, but to be saints.  And in this world, if you find yourself on a deserted island with a gorgeous genie and a magic lamp, maybe you, too, should wish for a helicopter.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Yes or No

Knowing when to say yes to Jesus

Luke 5:27-30

Jesus saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post. He said to him, “Follow me.”  And leaving everything behind, He got up and followed him. Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house, And a large crowd of tax collectors and others were at table with them.

            You know, occasionally, I’ll have to ask someone to volunteer for a ministry in the parish, like usher or Eucharistic minister or cub scout leader.  And do you know what some people answer?  They say, “No.”  Can you believe it?  Hard to imagine isn’t it?  Some people think, “Who could possibly say ‘no’ to you, Father John??"  Well, let me tell ya, the list is long!  Now, the really clever people say things like: “Well, Father, I can’t do that, but maybe my wife could help.”  Or, they’ll answer, “I have a friend who would be perfect for the job!”  We thereby throw our wife or friend “under the bus.”  Of course, we can’t say “yes’ to every petition that people propose, and so the hard part is knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”  Just don’t say “no” to me.

            In the gospel today, we see how people respond when Jesus calls them.  Jesus calls Levi to follow him as a disciple.  You’ll remember that Levi and Matthew are two different names but refer to the same person.  Now, the gospel says, “Leaving everything behind, Levi got up and followed him.”  After all, who would say “no” to Jesus, right?  Wrong.  In the 16th century, the Renaissance painter, Caravaggio, painted this same gospel scene of Levi's calling, but included this exquisite detail.  Levi is seated at his custom’s post when he sees Jesus pointing to him, clearly calling him.  But Levi's own finger is pointing, too, at a younger man beside him, as if to say, “Sorry, I’m busy at the moment, but this guy would be perfect for the job!”  Sound familiar?  Of course, we know Levi eventually follows our Lord, and ultimately dies a martyr’s death.  You see, whether we live in the 16th century or in the 21st century, or in any century, it’s hard to know when to say “yes” and when to say “no,” even to Jesus.

            Did you know that Jesus is calling you, too?  Jesus is always calling us in a general sense to deeper discipleship.  That’s what Lent is about: listening to our Lord’s call and through prayer, penance and helping the poor, and becoming better disciples.  But Jesus also calls us explicitly, like to the vocation to the priesthood, or to the diaconate, or to be a nun or sister, or to go on a mission trip, or to work in a prison ministry.  You know what's funny?  We all know we need more vocations to the priesthood, but some parents say, “Sorry, my son is busy, but the neighbor’s boy next door would make a perfect priest!”  Call someone else.

             May I share another delicious detail about that Caravaggio painting?  Jesus’ hand that’s pointing to and calling Levi is very similar, really identical, to the hand that Michaelangelo painted for God the Father as he’s pointing to and creating Adam and Eve in the Sistine Chapel.  Caravaggio’s point is inescapable: Jesus doesn’t just call Levi, he re-creates and re-makes Levi into a new creation, namely, the disciple named Matthew.  Jesus doesn't just call, he creates.  That’s why it says in John 5:19, “The Son can only do what he sees his father doing.”  Like Father, like Son.  The hard part for us is always knowing when we should say “yes” and when we should say “no.”

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Moses Math

Answering what is X

Deuteronomy 30:15-20

Moses said to the people: “Today I have set before you life and prosperity, death and doom. I call heaven and earth today to witness against you: I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the LORD, your God.

Luke 9:22-25

Jesus said to his disciples: “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?”

             I hate math, and I REALLY hate algebra.  I was never any good with numbers, but I could tear it up with letters, with spelling and reading.  But algebra is the worst because it mixes numbers and letters!  Instead of asking like in math, “what is 2 + 2?” algebra asks, “in the equation 2x +2, what is x?”  I wanted to answer, “Well, x is a letter and it has no business in math!”  You know, Shakespeare didn’t do algebra, and so algebra shouldn’t try to sound like Shakespeare!  I always felt like quoting Rudyard Kipling, who wrote, “Oh, East is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meet, Till Earth and sky stand presently by at God’s great judgment seat!” (“The Ballad of East and West”).  In other words, some things don’t mix well, like letters and numbers: leave algebra for the afterlife, for “God’s great judgment seat.”

             Little did I know that miserable math and even odious algebra are exactly what’s going on in the Bible, especially in our two readings today.  The Old Testament is simple math: 2 + 2 = 4.  Moses says simply, “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse.  Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live.”  Moses’ math is easy: choice + life = blessings.  But in the New Testament, Jesus teaches us “spiritual algebra” by introducing a variable, the “x” factor.  You see, X is the Greek letter for Christ.  And then the math gets hard, for Jesus says, “For he who wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.”  In other words, Jesus inserts a variable into the equation, namely, himself, the X factor, and we suddenly get very different answers and results.  Now the equation reads: choice(X) + death = blessings.  Now you see why I hate algebra?!  Here’s my point: when Jesus, the X factor, enters the equation of your life, you’re not doing Moses’ math any more, this is algebra of the angels.

            Do you hate math and algebra as much as I do?  Well, even if you’d rather stick with spelling and Shakespeare, you still have to answer the algebraic question: what is X?  And when we realize that the X stands for Christ in the equation of our life, we do amazing and even miraculous things.  Our 40 seminarians have found that X is Christ and chosen what the world considers death (no money, or wife, no children) and found untold blessings.  Immigrants who move to a new country (like the Irish and Germans, the Italians and now Hispanics who moved to Fort Smith), know that X is Christ, and have been blessed abundantly.  Catholics who take Lent seriously by sacrificing legitimate pleasures know X is Christ and await the blessings of Easter (or maybe just next Sunday, when we get a pass on our sacrifice!).

             You see, algebra is advanced math, and not many like it or understand it or embrace it.  Similarly, Christian spirituality is advanced living, and not many like it or understand it or embrace it, because in both cases, you have to answer the question: “what is X”?  X is Christ: where east meets west, north meets south, and sky meets earth.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Southern Livin

Learning the rules of Catholicism

           

You know, I’ve been living in here in the South since I was eight years old, and I love it.  But apparently, I still don’t know all the “rules” of being a “Suthnuh,” so someone sent me this email to educate me on the South, and so I’d feel more at home here.  Let’s see if you’re a true “Suthnuh.”

            Suthnuhs know their weather report: humidity, humidity, humidity.  Southerners know everybody’s first name: Honey, Darlin and Shugah.  Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss, Methdiss, and Football.  Southerners know their cities drippin with Southern charm: Chawl’stn, S’vanah, Foat Wuth, N’walins, and Addlanna.  Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall, The Country Club and The Beauty Salon.  Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails, having bad manners and cooking bad food.  Even Southern babies know that “gimmie some sugar” is not a request for the white granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

             Only Southerners make friends while standing in line…and when we’re “in line”…we talk to everybody!  In the South “ya’ll” is singular, and “all ya’ll” is plural.  By the way, you may have noticed there ain’t no magazine named “Northern Living” for good reason; there ain’t nobody interested in living in the North, and nobody would buy the magazine.  Here’s the conclusion: ‘Now, Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they hada been!  If you’re a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it, we know you got here as fast as you could!”  Did you know all those rules for “Southern Livin”?  I guess I’m still learning.

             Now, just like there are rule for Southern Living, so there are rules for Catholic living.  Since today is Ash Wednesday, maybe we should go over some of those rule, so you’ll feel at home here in the Church, just like I now feel more at home in the South.  On Ash Wednesday, everyone can get ashes, even non-Catholics.  So, just because you see someone on T.V. with ashes, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re Catholic.  Today is NOT a holy day of obligation.  [Let me pause for dramatic effect.]  Today is NOT a holy day of obligation, even though everyone thinks it is.  Catholics don’t have to go to Mass on Ash Wednesday.  BUT every Sunday IS a holy day of obligation; Catholics DO have to go to Mass every Sunday.  Missing Mass would be a Catholic deadly sin, like having bad hair and nails is for a Southern girl.

             Every Sunday, you get a “pass” on Lent, meaning you don’t have to make your lenten sacrifice on Sunday.  Why?  Because every Sunday is a “mini Easter,” and we don’t “fast” when Jesus the Bridegroom is with us.  Every Friday of Lent, we participate in the Stations of the Cross, because we love Jesus so much we want to imitate him by doing what he did.  Catholics don’t just read the Bible, we want to reenact the Bible.  On Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, we "fast," which means we eat one normal meal, and two small meals.  My rule of thumb is: if it didn't hurt a little, you didn't do it right.!  On Ash Wednesday and the Fridays of Lent, we don’t eat meat, but do love us a mess of lobster tails and some deep fried catfish!  There are Catholic rules, but there are also Catholic loopholes.  You have to know both!

            You see, just like there are rules for Southern Living, so there are rules for Catholic Living, and learning them helps us feel more at home, in the South and in the Church.  So, I’ll keep trying to be a better "Suthnuh," and you keep trying to be a better "Cat-lick."  And, by the way, if you mess up, bless your little heart!  Don’t worry, that’s why we have confession!

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Shake It Off

No Mulligans for Mardi Gras

Genesis 6:5-6

           When the LORD saw how great was man’s wickedness on earth, and how no desire that his heart conceived was ever anything but evil, he regretted that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was grieved.

            Do you ever wish life had a “reset button”?  Sometimes our plans and projects “go south” and fail miserably – maybe our whole life project has been thwarted by divorce or death – and we’d love to hit a universal “reset button” and start gain.  In golf we have a reset button it’s called a “mulligan” where you hit the same shot over without a penalty.  Of course it would be an Irish golfer who came up with a free extra shot – what a bunch of blarney!  Or, if you’re Taylor Swift, you don’t need a reset button, you just “Shake it off.”  Have you heard her catchy song?  She sings: “Cause the players gonna play, play, play; And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate.  But I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake. Shake it off.  Shake it off.”  In other words, you don’t need a reset button when life gets lousy, you just need good music to forget and fix your problems; you just need to “get down to this, sick, beat.”

             In the first reading today, God wishes he had a reset button, or at least a good Taylor Swift song to dance to, to forget his troubles.  His glorious creation has been wrecked by man’s sins, and Genesis records, “When the Lord saw how great was man’s wickedness on the earth, he regretted that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was grieved.”  God’s heart was broken.  But even though God knew, like T. Swift, that “heartbreakers gonna break, break, break,” he didn’t reach for the reset button.  He preserved Noah, his family, and enough creatures, to continue his original creation.  You see, you cannot just shake off sin; sin is only forgiven through sacrifice, and that’s what the Flood was.  Hebrews 9:22 reads, “without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.”

            Today is Mardi Gras, which is French for “Fat Tuesday.”  And I’m afraid many people will behave today no better than the people did in the time of Noah, and once again break God’s heart.  Because “heartbreakers gonna break, break, break.”  You know, we all commit sins sooner or later, but the real question is: what are we going to do about it?  For sins there is no “reset button,” or “mulligan,” or magical songs to make them disappear; there is only sacrifice, the sacrifice of Jesus.  And we receive that sacrificial salve each time we go to confession.  Archbishop Fulton Sheen had this graphic description of confession, saying, “Every priest’s hand raised in absolution is dripping with the blood of Jesus.”  As Hebrews said: “Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sins.”

            So, this Mardi Gras have fun: wear the gold and purple bead necklaces, eat and drink whatever you’ll give up during Lent, and enjoy some King Cake.  But don’t break the King’s heart with your sins.  Because you see, our sins actually do break the King’s heart.  And he can’t just “shake it off.”

            Praised be Jesus Christ!