Touching Your Face

Seeing the significance of the human face

02/09/2024

Mk 7:31-37 Jesus left the district of Tyre and went by way of Sidon to the Sea of Galilee, into the district of the Decapolis. And people brought to him a deaf man who had a speech impediment and begged him to lay his hand on him. He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man's ears and, spitting, touched his tongue; then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, "Ephphatha!" (that is, "Be opened!") And immediately the man's ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly. He ordered them not to tell anyone. But the more he ordered them not to, the more they proclaimed it. They were exceedingly astonished and they said, "He has done all things well. He makes the deaf hear and the mute speak."

In the gospel today did you notice how Jesus performed an extremely intimate gesture? He touches a man’s face with his hand. If you have ever touched someone else’s face, or someone has touched your face, you know how intimate it is: almost like a kiss. Jesus reaches out and touches a man’s ears and his tongue so that he is cured of his deafness and muteness. As a result, the man can hear and speak perfectly.

By the way, have you seen how priests and deacons imitate that exact gesture at baptisms? We put one finger on the baby’s ears, and another on his lips, and pray the baby’s ears will open to hear God’s word, and his lips will someday profess the Christian faith. Jesus’s gesture invites us to meditate on the human face. Let me draw out five fun facts about touching your face.

First, you can control the look on your face. You can choose to smile or frown, you are free to look surprised or angry, you can convey frustration or fear. One day President Abraham Lincoln was interview people for a cabinet position. One person came in with impeccable credentials and lots of recommendations. After the interview the president said he would not hire the man.

The aide asked surprised, “Why not? He was the ideal candidate!” Lincoln replied, “I didn’t like the look on the man’s face.” The aide continued: “You didn’t hire him just because of the look on his face?” Lincoln explained: “Every man over 40 is responsible for the look on his face.” In other words, the look on your face is the first impression you make on others. Make a good first impression and smile when you meet someone, especially the president.

A second fun fact: we should avoid touching our own face. Did you see the movie “Contagion” with Kate Winslet and Jude Law? It came out before the COVID pandemic. She says that the average person touches their face between 2,000 to 3,000 times a day. In the movie that’s one of the key ways a world-wide virus spreads. Teenagers know that touching your own face is also what contributes to acne. Why? Well, because you put the oil from your fingers on your face and produces pimples. Today, pay attention to how many times you inadvertently touch your face, and try to avoid it.

A third fun fact: when you have a conversation with someone, where do you look? I don’t know about your but I usually look at a person’s mouth because that’s the part of their face that is moving. But where should you look when you talk to someone? In their eyes. Why? Well because the eyes are the windows of the soul. When you look someone in the eyes, you don’t stop on the surface but look deep inside them. The third fun fact, therefore, is to look at each person you meet straight in the eyes, and then you will see more than meets the eyes.

Fourth fun fact: some people try to maintain a perpetual Poker face. Have you ever heard of that? That means they try to hide their true feelings by not showing any emotion on their face, as if nothing ever bothered them. Poker players try to look cool, calm, and confident. But really good poker players know that everyone has a “tell” – a sign or signal that betrays how they really feel. If they are holding four Aces, or are bluffing with a bum hand.

But what’s good in poker is not good for dealing daily with people. That is, let others see how you feel by the expression on your face. I tell engaged couples who come to me for marriage preparation, “The worst thing that can happen to you on your wedding day is that you marry a stranger.” That is, if you try to keep a poker face all the time, no one will really get to know the real you. You will remain a stranger to others, and maybe even to yourself.

And fifth, pay close attention to the look other people have on their face, and react with kindness and sensitivity. If someone looks sad, then try to comfort to sympathize with them. If someone looks nervous or afraid, try to reassure them or befriend them. If someone looks stressed or exhausted, try to give them some space or help them to relax.

This is called non-verbal communication and it is a very important skill to develop. I love the song by Neal McCoy called “That Wink.” It’s all about the non-verbal communication of winking. Here are a couple of verses: “I woke up this morning my head felt dense/ I splashed it with water trying to make it make sense / I stumbled to the kitchen she was standing at the sink / All she had to do was just give me that wink.” The refrain goes: “And slam-bam I’m feelin alright / Troubles take a hike in the wink of an eye / Don’t need to psychoanalyze or have a stiff drink / All she’s gotta do is just give me that wink.” Sometimes what we don’t say can be more powerful than an avalanche of words.

Boys and girls, this coming Wednesday is February 14 and thus Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if you have a sweetheart or not, but keep this homily handy. One of the most intimate things you can do is touch someone’s face, especially the face of your beloved. If you learn these five fun facts about touching the human face, perhaps this Valentine’s Day your sweetheart will touch your face with a kiss, and not with a slap.

Praised be Jesus Christ!