Cut the Strings

Learning the art of accompaniment

07/28/2021

Mt 13:36-43 Jesus dismissed the crowds and went into the house. His disciples approached him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.” He said in reply, “He who sows good seed is the Son of Man, the field is the world, the good seed the children of the Kingdom. The weeds are the children of the Evil One, and the enemy who sows them is the Devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels. Just as weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so will it be at the end of the age. The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will collect out of his Kingdom all who cause others to sin and all evildoers. They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

One of the hardest things for parents to do is watch their children make mistakes, and not try to stop them from falling on their face. Have you ever found yourself in that tricky situation? Why do wise parents do that? Well, because they know children learn as much (or more) from the school of hard knocks as from the school of soft taps. In other words, parents do not want their children to be forever like Pinocchio, a puppet on strings that they control, but rather real boys and girls, which means they make mistakes; their noses have to grow.

Parents sometimes ask me if they should attend the wedding of their Catholic children who get married outside the Church. I routinely reply: “Well, as long as you have made it clear to them that you disagree with their decision to marry without the sacrament, then I think it is safe to attend the wedding to show you love them.” In other words, just like you have disagreed with their bad decisions in the past but never stopped loving them, so too you now make it crystal clear where you stand morally but you nonetheless stand lovingly beside them.

This, I believe, is what Pope Francis means when he talked about “the art of accompaniment.” That is, we teach the world the truth, but we also accompany the world with love, and do not abandon it. Only if we cut the strings of control can Pinocchio become a real boy, and yes, he will inevitably make mistakes.

This tricky situation is what lies behind the parable of the weeds and the wheat that Jesus explains in the gospel today. Jesus says: “The good seed is the children of the kingdom. The weeds are the children of the Evil One.” But then Jesus fast-forwards to the end of time and adds: “The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are the angels.”

Jesus is giving us a picture of people after all the accompaniment is finished, after everyone has graduated from the school of hard knocks, and each soul’s destiny is determined. In short, it is harvest time. But up until that time, what is God’s attitude and approach to us, his children? I am convinced it is one of “accompaniment,” like Pope Francis teaches. That is why this gospel passage ends with our Lord’s warning: “Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

Jesus, therefore, is in the position of so many parents who see their children making mistakes. He does not necessarily rush in to stop them, but rather, he cuts the strings of control, and lets poor Pinocchio decide his own destiny. Like loving parents who attend the wedding of their wayward children who marry outside the Church, so Jesus tell us the truth when we stray, but never stops lovingly accompanying us.

My friends, why did God create a world in which there is so much suffering and sin, so many problems and pains, such deep wounds and woes? If I knew the answer to that question, I would write a book and make millions of dollars! But, of course, such a book has already been written with an answer, and it is called the Holy Bible. And the basic answer the Bible gives to the existence of evil is that God did not make his people to remain puppets on a string, but to become real boys and girls.

But when God cuts the strings of control we enter into the school of hard knocks. And in that school, we sometimes make mistakes and fall flat on our face. And that can really hurt, especially if we have a long nose.

Praised be Jesus Christ!