Why Women Weep

Appreciating the gift of tears and Mother Mary

09/16/2020

John 19:25-27 Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

Today I am going to talk about something that I have very little personal experience of, namely, why women weep. It’s not very smart for a man to wade too deeply into the ocean of a woman’s world, but I’ve never had much common sense with women, which is probably why I am a celibate priest. But I think there are two basic reasons why women weep: (1) a woman cries when she is extremely happy, and (2) a woman sheds tears when she is extremely sad. And on some really rare, but profoundly precious moments, she feels both happy and sad simultaneously and she weeps.

Last Saturday I celebrated a wedding of a beautiful couple at Immaculate Conception Church. After the ceremony, the bride told me: “You almost got me to cry during your homily.” I replied, “Well, if the bride doesn’t cry at her wedding, the wedding doesn’t count.” But she did shed a some tears during her vows, so it counted. And of course, women cry at funerals, and at times when they come to me for counseling. Now, women don’t like to cry because it messes up their make up. But I tell them I consider it a huge compliment when a women cries with me because it means she can feel vulnerable with me and she trusts me.

But do you know the real benefit of crying and releasing those emotions? It means you will live longer. If you look around in church on Sunday, which do you see more of: little old ladies or little old men? There are far more little old ladies. And that’s not just because the little old men are playing golf; those little old men are playing golf in heaven. That’s why the proper word is “widow” because the more common reality is women who have lost their husbands. The derivative word is “widower” because men who outlive their wives are rare and more exceptional.

Why do women live longer than men typically? When a woman weeps, she releases the tension between the body and the soul caused by life’s difficulties, and returns to equilibrium and inner harmony. You always feel better after a good cry. However, since men tend not to weep, that inner tension between the body and soul builds up until the body and soul get sick of each other and say good-bye. What is it called when the body and soul separate? That is called death. But since women weep, they keep the body and soul happier with each other and they stay together longer. What is it called when the body and soul stay together? That is called life. Why women weep has everything to do with life and death.

Today is the feast day of Our Lady of Sorrows, and we contemplate why Mary might have wept. Mary is the perfect woman, even conceived without sin, so her weeping would teach us the most beneficial effect of shedding tears. There are two gospel options for today, and I had a really hard time deciding which one to use, it almost made me cry! But I didn’t cry, of course, because I am a stubborn man, who will die soon. I chose the John 19 reading because it suggests how Mary lived the rest of her life.

We read: “And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.” The nameless disciple, as you know, is St. John the Evangelist, who wrote that gospel. Do you know how Mary died? Surprisingly, she did not die at all. Rather, at the end of her earthly life, she was assumed, body and soul, into heaven. Her body and soul always stayed in perfect harmony because Mary never committed any sins (thanks to God’s grace). But I also believe Mary enhanced that harmony by shedding many tears, from the time Jesus was born, till the day he died, and later for the Church he established. Maybe Mary sheds tears of joy in heaven as she watches over us today.

Boys and girls, take two seconds today and ask yourself when was the last time you cried. Did you feel it was a bad thing to cry and try to stop yourself? Or, maybe you were trying to comfort someone else who was crying and you said: “It’s going to be okay, please don’t cry.” But I would suggest to you that tears are a good thing, both happy tears and sad tears. I always tell people in counseling: “It’s okay to cry,” and then the faucet turns on full blast! Remember why women weep: their tears heal the harmony between body and soul, and that’s why they live longer than men.

Praised be Jesus Christ!