Marrying a Lemon

Understanding our marriage covenant with God

03/10/2020

Isaiah 1:10, 16-20 Hear the word of the LORD, princes of Sodom! Listen to the instruction of our God, people of Gomorrah! Wash yourselves clean! Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes; cease doing evil; learn to do good. Make justice your aim: redress the wronged, hear the orphan’s plea, defend the widow. Come now, let us set things right, says the LORD: Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool. If you are willing, and obey, you shall eat the good things of the land; But if you refuse and resist, the sword shall consume you: for the mouth of the LORD has spoken!

Once a month I travel to Little Rock to work in the marriage tribunal and handle annulments. As you know, someone who’s divorced can only remarry in the Catholic Church if they obtain an annulment for the first marriage. It is the hardest ministry I have because the situations are always sad and sometimes even tragic. But I call annulment ministry “making lemonade.” When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade! Some people feel like they married a lemon. I try to see annulment ministry as an opportunity to heal broken hearts and mend torn lives so that people can love again, and enjoy a successful second marriage. Like all other ministries and apostolates of the Church, the tribunal’s task is helping people heal and ultimately helping people find happiness.

People are often surprised that the annulment process is a very legal procedure. For example, there is a judge, or sometimes three judges, and witnesses are called upon to testify, and a final verdict or binding sentence is published settling the dispute between two parties. It may seem strange to deal with marriage and divorce as a legal lawsuit, but it shouldn’t be. The bible often depicts the disputes between God and Israel in terms of a “covenant lawsuit,” or in Hebrew a “riv.” In other words, God takes Israel to court and sues them, not for a breach of a mere contract, but the far more egregious breach of a marital covenant.

What is the difference between a contract and a covenant? It is as dramatic as the difference between prostitution and marriage. A contract concerns the exchange of goods and services; a covenant deal with an exchange of persons. A covenant is like a marriage because the parties declare: “I give you myself, and you give my yourself.” God takes Israel to court in a covenant lawsuit because he feels he has married a lemon.

Today’s first reading, from the opening chapter of Isaiah, invokes the language of a covenant lawsuit. We read: “Hear the word of the Lord, princes of Sodom! Listen to the instruction of our God, people of Gomorrah!” In other words, God is comparing the infidelity of Israel to the wicked sins of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19, which was destroyed by fire falling from heaven. The legal language continues a little later where Isaiah says: “Come now, let us set things right, says the Lord: Though your sins be like scarlet, they may become white as snow; though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool.” That is, God does not want an annulment for his marriage covenant with Israel, but he does want their wrongs redressed. He wants Israel to repent and return to being faithful to their marriage with Yahweh.

Incidentally, do you know what my particular part is in the annulment process? I am known as the “defensor vinculi” or “the defender of the bond.” My job, therefore, is to speak on behalf of the marriage itself, and marshal all the reasons why an annulment should not be granted, and the marriage preserved. Now, some people see me as the devil’s advocate, but in reality I am the Lord’s advocate. How so? Well, that is the role of Jesus in our marriage covenant with God. Our Lord suffered and shed his Blood on the Cross to defend the bond of our marriage with God. When we have breached the terms of the covenant, when our sins are scarlet and crimson red, his Blood makes them white as wool or snow. Jesus’ job is to keep us from getting a divorce from God. In this context we can see how what sounded like legalese turns into the language of love, and that is the whole point of annulment ministry.

May I add one further point? Every time we go to confession, we conduct a sort of covenant lawsuit against ourselves. How so? Well, we sort of take ourselves to court, where we are our own judge, jury and executioner. But in confession we will meet again that great and immortal Defensor Vinculi, the eternal Defender of the Bond, whose crimson Blood will turn our sins white as snow. And there in confession we will feel again how what sounded like legalese becomes the beautiful language of love.

Praised be Jesus Christ!