Best They Can

Learning to adopt a paradigm of compassion

01/27/2020

Mark 3:22-30 The scribes who had come from Jerusalem said of Jesus, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,” and “By the prince of demons he drives out demons.” Summoning them, he began to speak to them in parables, “How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand; that is the end of him. But no one can enter a strong man’s house to plunder his property unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can plunder his house. Amen, I say to you, all sins and all blasphemies that people utter will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never have forgiveness, but is guilty of an everlasting sin.” For they had said, “He has an unclean spirit.”

During dinner with a parish family last night, we started talking about Fr. Jon McDougal, a retired priest of the diocese. I am sure you will remember him. He has the singular distinction of having served in every parish in Fort Smith and Barling, and most recently, as chaplain of Mercy Crest retirement center. Everyone at the dinner table sang his praises, even though we all agreed he needs a haircut. One gold nugget of wisdom I have learned from Fr. McDougal is he often said: “Well, people are just doing the best they can.” I recall those words right when I am getting upset with someone for doing something I don’t like – usually my altar servers – and those words calm me down. Why? Well, maybe people are just doing the best they can, so it would be really unfair of me to expect them to do better than the best they can.

I’ll never forget an example of this by Stephen Covey, who wrote The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. He called this change in thinking a “paradigm shift.” One day Covey was on a subway when a man boarded with his three small children. The man dropped into a seat with a blank stare on his face, while the children started behaving rambunctiously. Even though the man was dressed in a suit and tie, he was completely oblivious of his children, and his children were oblivious of the other passengers, who were getting visibly annoyed with their antics. Covey himself was losing his cool thinking: why doesn’t this man do something to control his kids? Can’t he see what a ruckus they are making, not to mention they could hurt themselves?

After several long minutes the man turned to Covey with an ashen look on his face and said feebly: “I am sorry for my children’s behavior. We just left their mother’s funeral, and I’m not sure how to carry on without her.” And he broke down sobbing uncontrollably. Obviously, that critical piece of information completely changed Covey’s thinking about the man and his disorderly children. Covey calls that change of thinking a paradigm shift. Fr. Jon McDougal calls that compassion: “People are just doing the best they can.”

In the gospel today, the scribes who come from Jerusalem could use a paradigm shift in their thinking as well; that is, the paradigm of compassion. They harshly judge Jesus saying, “He is possessed by Beelzebul,” and “By the prince of demons he drives out demons.” Now, Stephen Covey did not think those churlish children on the subway were possessed by demons – he might have come close – still, the scribes needed a paradigm shift like Covey and reserve judgment until they had all the facts. The crucial piece of information they lacked was that Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit. And what made the scribes blind to that was their lack of compassion. They needed to learn from Fr. McDougal that “people are just going the best they can.” How differently the Jewish leaders would have treated Jesus – indeed, how differently they would have treated everyone – if they had adopted the paradigm of compassion.

Today’s takeaway from this homily, therefore, is to apply this paradigm shift into our own Christian attitude and actions. Ask yourself: do you tend to judge others by their appearance, their behavior, their background? To a certain degree, we all do that and we have to do that, for our own safety and peace. I believe, however, the real problem is when we stop there and dig no deeper to discover all the facts. We feel irritated like Covey on the subway and fail to find out that the poor man and his children are copying with unimaginable pain and loss. Repeat this line daily: People are just doing the best they can, especially when someone is really annoying you.

Perhaps we should have the same perspective of President Ronald Reagan in the 1984 debate with the younger Walter Mondale. When the announcer asked the older Reagan if his age would be a problem in being an effective president, Reagan gave this famous reply: “I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” What a brilliant response. Likewise, we should have a paradigm of compassion toward all those we meet, no matter how old they are, or how young they are. And if you were not very impressed with this homily, remember: people are just doing the best they can.

Praised be Jesus Christ!