Obituary Optics

Loving all the members of our family

12/21/2019

Matthew 1:1-17 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham became the father of Isaac, Isaac the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers. Judah became the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar. Perez became the father of Hezron, Hezron the father of Ram, Ram the father of Amminadab. Amminadab became the father of Nahshon, Nahshon the father of Salmon, Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab. Boaz became the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth. Obed became the father of Jesse, Jesse the father of David the king. After the Babylonian exile, Jechoniah became the father of Shealtiel, Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, Zerubbabel the father of Abiud. Abiud became the father of Eliakim, Eliakim the father of Azor, Azor the father of Zadok. Zadok became the father of Achim, Achim the father of Eliud, Eliud the father of Eleazar. Eleazar became the father of Matthan, Matthan the father of Jacob, Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary. Of her was born Jesus who is called the Christ. Thus the total number of generations from Abraham to David is fourteen generations; from David to the Babylonian exile, fourteen generations; from the Babylonian exile to the Christ, fourteen generations.

Some people have a strange habit of reading the obituaries in the paper every morning. I am one of those strange people. I tell the associate priests the reason I read them is to see if my brother priests in the deanery are working or just sitting around drinking coffee. Do you read the obituaries? Archbishop Sartain once explained that he read the obituaries because he learned who was related to whom. And of course, he could remember everyone’s names as well. Another reason I peruse the people who have passed is to discover maiden names of the women. A maiden name opens up a whole new world of relationships and storylines: a veritable web of interwoven lives and legacies. After reading the names and pausing at the pictures, I say a little prayer for each person’s peaceful repose. “Requiescat in pace,” which is Latin for “rest in peace.”

Now, while it may be easy to read an obituary, it is extremely difficult to write an obituary. I know a few people who had written their own obituary, to save their family the trouble. Or, maybe because they didn’t trust them to do it right! The difficulty of writing an obituary consists not only in the emotional experience of dealing with death. There is also the daunting challenge of being diplomatic. All families fight and all families feud – like the television show – and so all families have black sheep and skeletons in closets, maybe divorces or second marriages. The writer of an obituary has to balance the truth of a person’s life (which is always messy) with the desire to paint their picture in the most positive light. In a word, obituary optics, that is, what will people see when they read my grandfather’s obit?

Today’s gospel is the beginning of the gospel of Matthew 1:1-17, the genealogy of Jesus. In a sense, the genealogy can be read like an obituary, or at least the part of an obit that relates all the family relations. A lot of priests and deacons cringe at the thought of reading the genealogy at Mass, but I love it. Why? Well, for some of the same reasons for reading an obituary in the morning paper. The genealogy shows us who Jesus is related to on his human side. It shows the Holy Spirit works tirelessly, like I worry about other priests working. It also shows how God’s plan of salvation pronounced to Abraham in 1800 B.C. slowly unfolded with King David in 1000 B.C. and even through the Babylonian Exile in 586 B.C. and finally fulfilled in Jesus Christ. Matthew’s interweaving of lives and legacies ultimately includes the life and legacy of Jesus Christ, the Son of David, the Son of Abraham, and the Son of God.

But Matthew is also aware of obituary optics: how does this genealogy look in the eyes of the careful Christian reader? And therefore, he makes sure to include some shady ladies, like Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba (who’s mentioned implicitly, not by name). In other words, Matthew wants to make it clear that no amount of skeletons in closets or black sheep in the fold can frustrate God the Father’s loving plan of salvation. The overriding optic of Matthew genealogy is that God’s plan is perfect and his timing terrific.

Folks, have you given any thought to your own obituary? If you’re like me, you prefer reading other people’s obituary a lot more than your own! But it’s one thing to read an obituary, and it’s another thing to write it. How would you craft that part of your obituary detailing the often difficult family dynamics that underlie all family relationships? What will you do with the shady ladies, the black sheep, and the skeletons in the closet? What I call the obituary optics. May I gently suggest to you that nothing and no one in your life is an accident or an after-thought, no matter how annoying or embarrassing they seem to you. I cannot tell you who to include in your obituary. But I do believe God intended to include them in that intricate web of inter-relationships that comprises your life and legacy.

As each one of those people who have touched the web of your life passes away, and made that web tremble, at least say a prayer for the repose of their souls. Requiescat in pace.

Praised be Jesus Christ!