Funeral Homily (with parents’ permission)
12/13/2019
It is very hard to see ourselves as
we really are. And if we cannot see ourselves as we really are, then we cannot
know ourselves as we really are. Did you know that the image you look at in the
mirror is not exactly how you look? That mirror image is actually flipped, or
reversed from reality. This happens every time you take a selfie. Take a selfie
and stick your tongue out of the right side of your mouth, the mirror image you
see on your phone will show the tongue on the right side as well. But after you
take the selfie and look at the picture on the phone, your tongue will be
sticking out of the other side of your mouth. The picture will be the opposite
or reverse of the mirror image you saw when you smiled for the selfie. In other
words, the face your look at in the mirror is not the real you.
This is the same reason why doctors
cannot prescribe medicine for themselves. Self-medication is not only
unethical, it is illegal. Why? Doctors also do not see themselves as they
really are and therefore cannot know their ailments as they really are. You
cannot cure effectively what you do not comprehend entirely. This is also the
reason why priests cannot go to confession to ourselves by looking in the
mirror. How I would love to look in a mirror and say, “Fr. John, I forgive you
of your faults!” Again, why? Well, that handsome priest in the mirror looking
back at me is not the real me. If I cannot see myself as I really am, I cannot
know my sins as I really commit them. In other words, only other people can see
us and can know us as we really are, and they usually know us much better than
we know ourselves. By the way, this is why it is so hard for spouses to point
out each other’s faults. One spouse sees the “mirror image,” while the other
sees the “real image.”
In the gospel of Matthew, we
discover that no one can see people better than Jesus does, because he sees
people like God sees them, and therefore, he knows people as God knows them,
inside and out. That is, he knows people perfectly. A woman anoints Jesus’ head
with costly perfumed oil. The disciples scold her for it, because they only see
a woman wasting oil. Jesus, however, looks deep into the woman’s heart and sees
her love for him. He sees even more, though, namely, she is helping him prepare
for his passion and death, and even his burial. Jesus therefore praises her
profusely, saying: “Amen, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in
the whole world, what she has done will be spoken of, in memory of her.” In
other words, Jesus is not fooled by the mirror image that often dupes the rest
of us. Our Lord looks into the heart and he sees the whole human being. Jesus
misses nothing.
Today we pray for the peaceful
repose of the soul of Claire Schluterman. Claire was a beautiful little blonde
girl, with a sparkling, sweet smile, who left this earth a lot sooner than
anyone ever expected or even envisioned. Our hearts break not only for Claire,
but also for Kelly and Chris, and of course, little Ben. Our hearts go out to
Claire’s grandparents, Becky Shaver, and Allen and Liz Schluterman, and to the
enormous extended family, as well as the I.C and Trinity school families. We
are all praying for you, and we love you, and we are all sad and grieving with
you. But you know, I can’t help but wonder if Claire could see herself as she
really is, that is, at least as how we saw her, and therefore know herself as
she really is. Or on the other hand, if she wasn’t duped by that deceptive
“mirror image” that frequently fools all of us. I asked people in the various circles
that made up Claire’s life – like orbits of the planets around the sun – to
share their memories and stories about her. Why? Well, because other people can
usually see us so much better than we can see ourselves, and they know us
better than we know ourselves.
Here are some stories from
Immaculate Conception School teachers. Mandy Becker said: “My favorite memory
of Claire is from a trip we took to St. Scholastica to sing to the nuns. After
we sang, the children took small crafts they had made to give to the nuns.
Claire went over to a nun who was very elderly, sitting in a recliner with a
blanket over her. Claire immediately set upon making sure the blanket was on
well, then rested her hand on the old nun's arm and laid her head on the nun's
shoulder. That was first grade Claire in a nutshell: She often got distracted
by noticing the needs of someone else, instead of thinking of herself or her
needs first. As she grew older, I saw this kind of love and care that Claire
exhibited to Ben.” That’s the real Claire, and not the “mirror image” that
maybe she saw.
Jennifer Shelby said: “A wonderful
memory was when Claire was 7. Jennifer, Kelly and Monica took Ella, Rylee and
Claire to the mall to get their ears pierced. Claire was so scared!! She let
the 5 year old girls go first. A few tears came- then she said it wasn’t so
bad. And she was so glad she did it. It was a fun day with lunch and 3 giggly
girls at the mall.” Christine Maestri added: “My first memory of Claire is her
gentle spirit, her soft voice and delicate smile, her love of dance, books, art
and a being a great storyteller. She loved to write and read stories of
dragons. She would even come into character with a dragon jacket she would wear
sometimes. Claire was a delightful young lady.” Julie Harrell remembered: “I
remember her sweet little 4 yr old personality in preschool. Full of knowledge
with many discoveries to share! Later in life her sweet, calm personality was
so easy to be around. She has “danced” gracefully across our living room floor,
my preschool room and just anywhere she had room to practice! She was always a
fierce protector of Ben (Jeff called him BB) stood for Big Ben. And her Mother,
Kelly.” That’s the real Claire.
At Trinity Junior High, Sydney
Hanna shared: “My favorite memory of her is of the time we were working on a
tune for our halftime show and I was helping her play her part. The moment she
understand and could do it, her face lit up and she was so excited. She loved
being a part of this group and everyone loved having her.”
Tracy Vrazel also mentioned: “Mrs.
Teagle shared with us a piece of art created by Claire. She asked her students
to draw a picture of something they enjoyed doing. Claire drew a picture of
herself sitting by the ocean with her notebook writing stories. Claire wanted
to be an author when she grew up. Claire expressed a great bond with her
mother. When filling out a "Getting to Know You" survey at the
beginning of the year, she said the person she admired most was her mother. She
wrote a story titled "The Unbreakable Bond." In this story, she
started feeling a little sleepy during the homily so she leaned up against her
mom. Her mom laid her head on top of Claire’s when they suddenly got stuck to
each other. She realized that her mom's earring got stuck in her hair and they
had a quite a bit of trouble getting unstuck. They both found this funny and a
bit embarrassing as they tried to get free.” That’s why you shouldn’t fall
asleep in the homily. But that’s the real Claire.
At Western Arkansas Ballet, Brianna
Hagar recalled: “I have taught Claire for 5 1/2 years at Western Arkansas
Ballet. I gave her, her 1st pair of pointe shoes and watched as she became
stronger, looking more like a beautiful ballerina and less like a new born baby
deer. She always worked very hard for me in class, pushing through the fatigue
and pain that comes with pointe work. She was my most creative student. Every
time she danced, there was a story behind the movement. It was always an honor
to watch her dance because you could tell she was sharing something so personal
and that this movement was her only way of sharing what was inside with the
world. I will forever cherish that gift that she was willing to share with me.”
That’s the real Claire.
Melissa Schoenfeld agreed, saying:
“One thing I loved and at the same time drove me nuts about Claire was that
during class she cared so much about everyone else. She would be chatting with
someone or checking on them, which was so sweet, but then not quite know what
she was supposed to be doing. And when she did something well and I let her
know, she would tuck her chin and give me that sweet humble smile and side
look. Love that precious child.” That’s the real Claire.
Jared Mesa chimed in with: “Claire
had come over the night before to stay with us (Brianna and Jared) for the
night . Her parents were out of town and she needed a ride to the dance studio
for morning ballet class. I had asked her what she wanted for breakfast, so
that I could pick it up and make sure it was in the house for the morning. She
told me “I usually have an Eggo waffle” and it dawned on me that I had never
eaten an Eggo waffle in my life. I told Claire that I had never eaten an Eggo.
I think this made Claire very happy. She got to help me experience something
for the first time in my life. In the morning when we woke up we had our Eggo
waffles for breakfast and then went to the dance studio. It was a pleasant
experience and the Eggo waffle was better than I thought it was going to be.
There was nothing special about this breakfast except for the fact that I have
never had an Eggo before. But I could tell that it meant a lot to Claire.
Claire was good at finding the good things in small moments. I hope that I can
find small moments in life that bring joy to me and others just like I saw in
Claire.” That’s the real Claire.
Alice Anders said: “Claire
Schluterman was a quiet, innovative, hard-working, creative, and talented young
lady. At Western Arkansas Ballet, she worked her way up to the junior company,
and got moved up to the pre-professional company the following year. She worked
so hard and was always so focused and determined to improve, which she did. If
she wasn’t dancing, she was working on homework, writing beautiful stories,
drawing, and/or reading a book. She never wasted a moment of her time. She
learned these amazing qualities from her wonderful parents. The last time I saw
Claire was at the Clarksville Nutcracker that WAB did the weekend after
thanksgiving. I was standing backstage on headset and looked over and saw
Claire. I had to do a double take because she had grown up and matured so much
since I’ve been away at school. She danced beautifully as a snowflake and Lady
in Waiting. I was and am so proud of her.” That’s the real Claire.
Alice’s younger sister, Anna Anders
recalled: “The first memory I have of Claire was last year. I went and spent
the night at the Schluterman’s when my parents went out of town and Claire and
I played Mario Kart for 3 hours straight. Within those 3 hours, Claire won every
single game and I realized how bad I really am at Mario Kart. Another was just
last week. We were at dance and Claire came up to me and gave me the biggest
hug and said, “I’ve missed you. Even though we see each other every day, I’ve
missed you.” Claire had the biggest heart and was so loved, and I miss her
deeply.” That was the real Claire.
As we hear the stories and memories
of those who knew and loved Claire, we begin to see a sort of kaleidoscope of
her personality, which was not only good, but grace-filled. So often other
people can see us much better than we see ourselves, other people know us
better than we know ourselves, and perhaps that was true for little Claire too.
Today we pray she stands before Jesus as our Lord looks at her. We cannot see
Claire but Jesus can see her. And I pray that she can see her own reflection,
her image, in his eyes, which will be filled with an eternal love for her.
Jesus won’t miss anything about Claire, and so Claire won’t miss anything about
herself either. Only when we see ourselves reflected in the eyes of Jesus, like
the woman who anointed him at Bethany, will we see ourselves as we really are,
and how much God loves us. Today we pray that Claire can finally see the real
Claire.
Praised be Jesus
Christ!
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