Always a Bride

Grasping the Church’s deepest identity as the Bride of Christ

12/23/2017

Luke 1:57-66 When the time arrived for Elizabeth to have her child she gave birth to a son.  Her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown his great mercy toward her, and they rejoiced with her. When they came on the eighth day to circumcise the child, they were going to call him Zechariah after his father, but his mother said in reply, "No. He will be called John."  But they answered her, "There is no one among your relatives who has this name." So they made signs, asking his father what he wished him to be called. He asked for a tablet and wrote, "John is his name," and all were amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened, his tongue freed, and he spoke blessing God. Then fear came upon all their neighbors, and all these matters were discussed throughout the hill country of Judea. All who heard these things took them to heart, saying, "What, then, will this child be? For surely the hand of the Lord was with him."

           Have you heard the common expression “always a bridesmaid, never the bride”? It means you’re always the “runner up” but never the one who wins the prize. This expression doesn’t just refers to weddings, but to any individual who fails to achieve their ultimate goal, like an NFL football team that never wins a Super Bowl. The poor Minnesota Vikings and Buffalo Bills have made it to four Super Bowls but never won. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride: because they’ve never worn the Super Bowl “ring.”

            This phrase can also be applied to men in a wedding with a little modification. We might say, “always the best man, never the groom.” I served as the best man in my brother’s wedding many years ago before I was ordained as a priest. I was given only one job in the wedding, and it was a crucial one. I was the keeper of the rings, and after the vows were exchanged, I was to hold the rings while the priest blessed them. Well, I could tell my brother was nervous, so I thought I would help him relax by playing a practical joke on him. When he turned to me for the rings, I pretended that I couldn’t find them in my pockets, and wore this alarmed look on my face. I thought my brother was going to punch me in the face, so I quickly pulled out the rings. I mean, what’s the point of a wedding without a little drama?

            In the gospel today, we see this is the exact role of John the Baptist: always the best man, never the groom. His father, Zachariah, declares his name will be John. You’ll remember this was the same Zachariah who was struck dumb by the angel Gabriel for questioning his message. But after he names him “John,” Zachariah’s tongue is loosed. The gospel states: “All who heard these things took them to heart, saying, ‘What then will this child be? For surely the hand of the Lord was with him’.” In the gospel of John (the Evangelist) 3:29, John the Baptist himself answers this question about his identity, saying: “The best man, who stands and listens to him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made complete.” In other words, St. John the Baptist could say like no one else in all human history, “Always the best man, never the Groom!” But that was also John’s greatest joy: to announce the coming of Christ, the coming of the Bridegroom.

              But this analogy or metaphor, like all analogies, also sort of “limps” in that it is not entirely accurate. Why? Well, because at the end of the day – indeed, at the end of all days – we are not meant to be a bridesmaid, but rather the Bride, the Bride of Christ, the Church. Listen to how the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes the Church’s deepest identity: “The Church is the spotless bride of the spotless Lamb” (Catechism, 796). In other words, we could say the exact opposite of that old expression is truer than the expression itself: “always a bride and never a bridesmaid.” I hope this might give some comfort and consolation to all women who are without a husband: to single women who have never married, to widows who have lost their husband, to divorced women, even to those who are married but still feel very alone, and even a nun in a convent. You are not doomed to be forever “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” That is not your fate, because that is not your faith.

              What we celebrate at Christmas is not only the birth of our Savior, but we also celebrate the birth of our Bridegroom. Why? Well, because we are never just a bridesmaid, but we are always the bride.

Praised be Jesus Christ!