The Butterfly Effect

Balancing both fear and fascination in loving the Lord

04/16/2017

Matthew 28:1-10 After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven,  approached, rolled back the stone, and sat upon it. His appearance was like lightning and his clothing was white as snow. The guards were shaken with fear of him and became like dead men. Then the angel said to the women in reply, "Do not be afraid! I know that you are seeking Jesus the crucified. He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, 'He has been raised from the dead, and he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him.' Behold, I have told you." Then they went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to his disciples.

          Arguably the most common and coveted human experience is that of falling in love. Who doesn’t want to feel those butterflies in their stomach when you’re first attracted to someone? I vaguely remember that myself, about a million years ago. Those butterflies mean we feel two contrary emotions. On the one hand, you feel fascination, an irresistible attraction to another person, but on the other hand you feel fear, an instinctive desire to pull back from them.

          One day, a girl brought home her fiancé, a theology student, to meet her parents for the first time. Her father was keen to learn what prospects the boy had. The father asked him, “How do you plan to make a living?” “I don’t know,” said the student, “But God will provide.” The father raised his eyebrows, and asked further: “Do you own a car?” “No,” said the student, “but God will provide.” “I see. And where are you thinking of living once you’re married?” “No idea,” answered the young man, “but I’m sure God will provide.” Later the mother asked the father what he thought of their prospective son-in-law. “Not a lot really,” sighed the father. “He’s got no money, he seems to have given precious little thought to the future. But on the other hand, he thinks I’m God!” That young man should have had a little more fear of his future father-in-law.

          Bishop Robert Barron writes that this same fear and fascination – this push and pull of emotions – also defines our dealings with God. He explains that, “Awe and fear are, in the Old Testament tradition, two standard relations to God.” He continued, “The twentieth-century philosopher of religion, Rudolf Otto famously characterized the transcendent God as the mysterium tremendum et fascinans, the mystery that fascinates us even as it causes us to tremble with fear – in whose presence we are amazed and afraid” (Catholicism, 15). That is, just as we feel amazed and afraid in the presence of a beautiful girl – we’re draw to her but also shake in our shoes – so we feel amazed and afraid in the presence of our beautiful God. We feel a butterfly in our stomach, whose one wing is fear and the other is fascination.

          In the gospel today, two women feel this “butterfly effect” as they witness the Resurrection of Jesus. An angel announces Jesus’ astonishing victory over death – he’s alive! – and how do the women react? The gospel relates: “They went away quickly from the tomb, fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to his disciples.” Did you catch that phrase, “fearful yet overjoyed”? That is, they were giddy like a young girl in love, at once amazed and afraid. On the other hand, the guards on duty felt only fear. The gospel explains their state of mind, saying, “The guards were shaken with fear of [the angel] and became like dead men.” They were the opposite of the young theology student meeting his father-in-law; they felt only fear and no fascination. You see, because the women had faith, the butterflies in their stomach beat with both beautiful wings: fear and fascination, being amazed and afraid.

          My friends, may I ask you a very personal question today? How is your faith life, your deep, intimate, personal friendship with Jesus? Do you feel butterflies in your stomach when you think about Jesus, or talk about him, or pray to him? If you don’t may I suggest to you that perhaps your butterfly may be beating with only one wing: either the wing of fear, or that of fascination, only being amazed or only being afraid? What do I mean?

          For example, is there too much fear in your relationship with God? Do you ever wonder why the back pews of the church always fill up first? Are people too afraid to come up closer? Is that why some people who can sing don’t join the choir? Are you afraid? Is that why some people don’t become Catholic; or some men do not become priests or women become nuns: because they’re afraid?  Is that why some people go out the side doors after Mass and avoid shaking my hand? You think I don’t see you when you do that, but I do; we have hidden cameras at all those exits, and I watch those videos as I lay in bed at night. Is that why some Catholics only come to Mass on Christmas and Easter only, whom I affectionately call our “CEO Catholics”? In other words, does your butterfly in your stomach flutter with only the wing of fear?

          On the other hand, are we so fascinated and free with God that we feel no fear at all in his Holy Presence? In other words, is our Christianity so casual and comfortable that we take God for granted? Fulton Sheen once observed: “Jewelers get used to fine diamonds.” Do we maintain a “holy hush” when we come into the church, into the house of God? Do we dress like we’re going someplace special and sacred? Do we speak about priests and bishops and the pope with respect, even if we disagree with them? Do we invoke God’s holy name with due deference? Do we presume on God’s mercy and forget his justice by casually ignoring confession? Do we think only about heaven and forget get all about hell? Are we amazed but no longer afraid, like the theology student who only answered, “God will provide”?

          In 1969, a scientist by the name of Edward Lorenz coined the phrase “the butterfly effect.” He observed that something as small as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings could produce tremendous changes in weather patterns, even in how a tornado might form weeks later. This is also true in the spiritual life: the small fluttering of the butterfly in your stomach can have a tremendous effect in your eternal destiny, especially if your butterfly only has one wing. This Easter, as you behold the Risen Christ, like the two Marys in the gospel, may you feel those beautiful butterflies of faith fluttering with both wings: “fearful yet overjoyed.”

          Praised be Jesus Christ!