Out, Damned Spot

Learning from our mistakes because we make plenty of them

03/14/2017

Matthew 23:1-12 Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, saying, "The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people's shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. They widen their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. They love places of honor at banquets, seats of honor in synagogues, greetings in marketplaces, and the salutation 'Rabbi.' As for you, do not be called 'Rabbi.' You have but one teacher, and you are all brothers. Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven. Do not be called 'Master'; you have but one master, the Christ. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

          One of the hardest things to say in the English language is the phrase “I’m sorry.” When was the last time you sincerely apologized for a mistake and really meant what you said? Some people never say it, and would choke on those words.  Why is it so difficult to say “I’m sorry”? The short answer is that it’s hard to be humble and we all think we’re right and others are wrong. Here are a few examples.

          Sometimes we mouth the words, but don’t really mean it in our hearts. Have you ever heard a small child apologize but only because they got caught? They sourly say, “I’m sorry,” but it’s obvious they don’t feel a drop of regret or remorse. That’s really no apology at all, is it? A few weeks ago I was talking with Sam Fiori, a successful businessman in Fort Smith. He went from working in a Taco Bell to owning a few of them. (By the way, that’s a literary device called “understatement.”) I asked Sam what someone needs to do to be as successful as he is, and Sam immediately answered, “They need to learn from their mistakes.” Great answer. But before you can learn from a mistake, you have to humbly admit you made a mistake, and that’s where people fail. You cannot learn from a mistake you don’t think you ever made. In Shakespeare’s classic tragedy, Macbeth, Lady Macbeth sleepwalks and incessantly washes her hands, crying, “Out, damned spot!” She believed her hands were covered in blood because she convinced her husband to kill the king. But she refuses to say, “I’m sorry. I have sinned.” She only apologies in her sleep. It’s very hard to say, “I’m sorry.”

          In the gospel toady, Jesus laments the lack of this humility in the scribes and Pharisees, and he wants to see this humility in his disciples. Jesus says, “The scribes and Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example.” What example was Jesus worried his disciples would imitate? The Pharisees’ self-righteousness and lack of humility. The Pharisees might sleepwalk at night saying, “Out, damned spot!” but they’d never admit their sins in the light of day. The disciples, on the contrary, should avoid being called “Rabbi,” or “father,” or “Master.”  Why?  Well, because there is only One who is sinless and perfect, namely, the Christ. In other words, be humble and “learn from your mistakes” by admitting you make plenty of them. It should be easy for a Christian to say, “I’m sorry.”

          My friends, this Lent learn to make saying, “I’m sorry” a regular part of your vocabulary. The best place to do that is in confession. Soon, reconciliation services will start popping up all over town like fast-food restaurants, where you can go in and learn from your mistakes, like Sam Fiori said. One of the most helpful and healing things spouses can say to each other is “I’m sorry.” But sadly, each one thinks he or she is absolutely right and the other is entirely wrong. They choke on the words, “I’m sorry.” You know, for a long time, I used to think that a priest should never apologize, because after all, shouldn’t we know better and be as “pure and perfect as the driven snow”?? I believed saying, “I’m sorry” was a sign of weakness, but I’ve learned it’s actually the opposite: a genuine apology signifies strength of soul, humility and holiness. A good leader is not always right, but he or she is always humble.

          Folks, stop sleepwalking this Lent and crying, “Out, damned spot!” Be humble and learn from your mistakes. Want to hear a little secret? You make plenty of mistakes.

          Praised be Jesus Christ!