Turning Heads

With gratitude to the Sisters of St. Scholastica

Matthew 25: 1-13

Jesus said: “Then the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones, when taking their lamps, brought no oil with them, but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps. Since the bridegroom was long delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight, there was a cry, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins got up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise ones replied, ‘No, for there may not be enough for us and you. Go instead to the merchants and buy some for yourselves.’ While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked. Afterwards the other virgins came and said, ‘Lord, Lord, open the door for us!’ But he said in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.’ Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.

          Much has been written about the rich but also rocky relationships between men and women. As a priest who counsels couples, I’ve read a few of those books. Few things take up as much of our time, talents and treasure than managing our relationships with those of the opposite sex. One such book is called Me

n are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It certainly feels like we’re from different planets, sometimes! Another is called Love and Respect and explores how women crave love and tenderness while men seek respect and admiration. You know how big a man’s ego can get! But the most valuable lesson I’ve learned about love came from the movie, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” The bride is having cold feet the night before the wedding, and her mother gives her a little advice. She says, “Dear, there are only two things you need to remember about marriage. First, the man is the head of the house. Second, the woman is the neck. And the neck can turn the head.” We often hear it said that the man is the “head” while the woman is the “heart,” and that’s certainly true. But I would suggest to you that a woman’s best role is symbolized by being the neck. By the way, that’s what we mean when we say a woman can “turn heads.” In case you didn’t know that.

          Today we celebrate the Feast of St. Scholastica, and what a special blessing to be at St. Scholastica Monastery for this Mass! There’s no other place I’d rather be today. It’s hard to talk about St. Scholastica without making mention of her twin brother, St. Benedict. I only want to point out one aspect of St. Scholastica’s life, namely, that she embodies all that’s best in how a woman should relate to a man. (Pay attention, ladies!) I don’t know if she ever read Love and Respect, or Men are from Mars, or watched “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” but Scholastica knew how to deal with Benedict in a way that was a blessing to both. In the famous book, The Dialogues of St. Gregory the Great, we read about the last time St. Scholastica went to visit St. Benedict. By that time, they had both founded monasteries and were coming to the end of their lives. Because women were not allowed inside the monastery, Benedict and a few monks met St. Scholastica outside the monastery, in a nearby farmhouse. When evening came, Benedict got up to go – because his “rule” required him to spend the night inside the monastery – but Scholastica begged him to stay longer. When he refused, she fell to her knees to pray. Suddenly, a severe thunderstorm broke out and Benedict was forced to remain in the farmhouse all night. Benedict cried out, “God forgive you, Sister! What have you done?” Scholastica replied, “I asked a favor of you and you refused. I asked it of God and he granted it.” I believe this is what that wise Greek mother meant when she said, “The man is the head but the woman is the neck, and the neck can turn the head.” Didn’t St. Scholastica turn Benedict’s head to more spiritual matters in their long, nocturnal conversation? And if this doesn’t sound too irreverent, didn’t St. Scholastica even turn God’s head by her prayer, and his answer of the thunderstorm? You see, wise women know how to turn a man’s head, and the wisest women turn men’s heads to heaven.

          Would you indulge me for a moment and allow me to add a few personal points about St. Scholastica and this magnificent monastery? I would like to just say three things. First, as Administrator of Trinity Junior High, just down the hill from you, I feel very blessed every time I drive on this monastery campus. You consecrated women turn this priest’s head when I look up the hill and know you are praying for me and our school. You’ve done more than pray; you’ve also supported us financially, and you even attend our school functions, like the “Men in Black versus the Boys in Blue” Quizbowl (although I couldn’t tell who exactly you were cheering for!). Whenever we see you, you turn our heads to think of heaven. Secondly, your monastery is a landmark in this community. Even John Bell, the renowned Fort Smith painter, has immortalized the monastery with oil and canvas. You turn the heads of the people of Fort Smith to think of heaven. And third, you are embarking on a campaign to build a new monastery for your future. Be assured of my prayers and support for the success of this campaign. But may I also ask you a favor? Whatever you build and however your future unfolds, don’t stop “turning heads” to heaven: that is your purpose, that is your power, and that should be your pride. Wise women know how to turn a man’s head, and the wisest women, like St. Scholastica, always turn a man’s head to heaven.

          Today’s gospel from Matthew 25 is very apropos to this feast of St. Scholastica. Let me ask you: what made the wise virgins so “wise” and the others so “foolish”? Well, the wise were always ready for the Bridegroom; they never took their eyes off heaven. The fools looked away, they got distracted, and finally they were left out of the wedding. The real purpose and the real power of the wise virgins – and really of all wise women – is to keep their eyes on heaven, and to turn our heads to heaven, too. My dear Sisters of St. Scholastica, keep turning our heads to heaven, but if you don’t mind, please don’t give us whiplash.

          Praised be Jesus Christ!