Sorry I am not Sorry

Finding good reasons to make a good confession

03/11/2018

Ephesians 2:4-10 Brothers and sisters: God, who is rich in mercy, because of the great love he had for us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, brought us to life with Christ — by grace you have been saved —, raised us up with him, and seated us with him in the heavens in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so no one may boast. For we are his handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for the good works that God has prepared in advance, that we should live in them.

Catholics love to come up with excuses why they should not go to confession. Therefore, it is the job of priests to convince them they should go to confession. I recently read the story of a German soldier who had been sentenced to death by the French authorities after World War II. But a young priest named Gaston wants to hear his confession before he meets his Maker. Here is how the story unfolds: “The soldier confesses his passion for women and the numerous amorous adventures he has had. The priest explains that he must repent to obtain forgiveness and absolution. The soldier answers, ‘How can I repent? It was something I enjoyed, and if I had the chance I would do it again, even now. How can I repent?’

Father Gaston, who wants to absolve the man who has been marked by destiny and who is about to die, has a stroke of inspiration and asks, ‘But are you sorry that you are not sorry?’ The young man answers impulsively, ‘Yes, I am sorry that I am not sorry.’ In other words, he is sorry for not repenting. That sorrow is the opening that allows the merciful priest to give the man absolution” (The Name of God is Mercy, xxv-xxvi). Catholics use their creative juices to cook up excuses for not confession; therefore priests must find even better recipes of reasons why they should confess. God only needs the smallest crack in the armor around our hearts to pour in his merciful love. Sometimes, just being sorry we are not sorry suffices.

St. Paul, one of the early pastors of the church, puts forward the best reason why Christians should approach Jesus’ merciful love and seek forgiveness of sins. He writes to the Ephesians: “God, who is rich in mercy, because of the great love he had for us, even when we were dead in our transgressions brought us to life with Christ.” Pope St. John Paul II in 1980 wrote a papal document called “Dives in misericordia,” (rich in mercy), based specifically on this passage from Ephesians. St. Paul and the pope both argued that the greatest reason to confess is the overwhelming mercy of God, next to which our sins shrink to insignificance. Sometimes in confession, after someone has listed their sins, I smile and reply, “That’s not so bad.” That always brings a smile to the penitent’s face. I do not say that to minimize the seriousness of sin, but I do want to maximize the greatness of God’s mercy. Imagine how tiny a golf ball would be next to the blazing sun, and that would be the size of our sins next to God’s burning merciful love. He is “dives in misericordia,” and with the slimmest of cracks in our armor, he can pour his mercy into our hearts.

Let me give you three good reasons to go to confession this Lent. This is the same advice I give to the school children. First of all, little children are scared to death that the mean old priest in confession is going to yell at them when they fess their faults. That may seem like a childish fear, but adults feel that as well. So, let me assure you that no priest will yell at you in confession. They teach us in seminary not to exclaim, “You did what??” in confession. You only see that in the movies.

The second thing is that priests can never reveal anything we hear in confession. We must take those sins to the grave. This is called the “seal of the confessional,” meaning our lips are sealed. For example, if a police officer put me in handcuffs and demanded, “Tell me what Dc. Greg said to you in confession!” Would I tell him? No. What if someone offered me a billion dollars to tell them what Dc. Charlie said in his confession, would I tell him? Well, maybe for two billion I would. No, of course I would not even for two billion, or three, or any amount of money. What if the pope himself asked what someone said in confession, would I tell the Holy Father? No, never. Of course, he would never do that, but you get my point. That is probably why God called only men to be priests: men have such terrible memories that we would never remember anything important someone tells us. You are safe coming to a male priest for confession.

And the third thing is the peace you feel after confession. I will never forget how one child was so nervous about making her first confession. But after she finished, she ran back to her mother waiting in the pew, and squealed, “Can I do it again??” God in his infinite wisdom, knowing how hard it is for us to swallow our pride and confess our sins, has hidden a special grace in his sacrament. For all who humbly confess their sins, they know the unique peace that comes from God’s pardon. I am convinced that in the sacrament of confession you can literally feel God’s grace, his embrace of love, he who is “dives in misericordia.” You may not leave confession and squeal “Can I do it again??” But you will feel good, and know God’s peace.

What are your excuses for not going to confession? We all have them and they are a mile long. However, they are only excuses for not being as happy as God wants you to be. In a word, it is happiness you will find when you go to confession. God does not need much of a crack in your armor to pour his rich mercy into your soul. He only needs you to be sorry that you are not sorry.

Praised be Jesus Christ!