Primary Color of Humility

Seeing how the virtue of humility holds the secret to all relationships

03/10/2018

Luke 18:9-14 Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. “Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

I am convinced the key to happy and healthy human relationships is the virtue of humility. Of course, we need all the virtues for human flourishing (to be the best version of ourselves, as Matthew Kelly says): prudence, justice, courage, temperance, faith, hope and love. But in the arena of relationships (relations with others and ourselves), humility reigns supreme. Let me give you a few examples.

Marriages that struggle and end in divorce have complicated causes and circumstances, to be sure. But I cannot help but wonder if husband and wife had been a little more humble and accepted some blame and extended a little more forgiveness (both of which require humility) the marriage might have been saved. Think about wars that have ravaged the landscape of human history. What would have happened if Hitler had been a little more humble – it is possible World War II might have been averted. The same holds true in any given work setting, in an office, in a factory, on the farm, in a church. The intrigue, gossiping, sabotaging, in-fighting, jealousy, egotism, ambition, and pride would all be swept away in an instant if each employee tried to be more humble.

Humility is also the key to unlock success in the spiritual world of relationships. What made Adam and Eve eat the fruit of the forbidden tree in Eden if not a lack of humility in obeying the command of God? Just be humble and do what God commands, we cry helplessly, instead of thinking you know better than God. But there is no need to blame Adam and Eve alone, you and I do the same thing every time we sin. We disobey God because we think we know better than he does. In our relations with the heavenly hosts, Mary, the angels and the saints, humility helps us see how much we depend on their prayers and protection, while foolish pride prompts us to believe we can go it alone. Humility is the reason for Catholic calisthenics at Mass: bowing, kneeling, standing and sitting. We humble ourselves by bending the knee before God. Humility is also the secret weapon in our battle against Satan. We are not stronger than him, we are not smarter than him, we are not more beautiful than him, we are not more clever than him, we are not more creative than him, we are not more strategic than him, we are not more daring than him. We can only be more humble than him because he does not possess a drop of humility. When we are armed with humility we can withstand the temptations and attacks of the Evil One, and his terrifying kingdom falls like a house of cards.

In our dealings with our brothers and sisters in Christ, our spiritual family, humility must be our watchword. Would the Protestant Reformation have exploded and shattered the unity of Christendom if spiritual leaders were more humble? Would the Catholics and Orthodox churches have split in 1054 if pope and patriarchs had been more humble? Would there have been heresies if heretics were more humble, or persecutions if persecutors had been less prideful? Even in relating to ourselves, isn’t the lack of humility really the root of vanity, and addictions, and ambitions and our greed, our laziness and our lust? A little humility would have healed all those disordered passions. How dramatically different would have been depicted the painting of human history over the wide canvas of creation if humility had been the primary color!

No wonder, then, that Jesus insists so emphatically on his disciples to be more humble. The parable of the Pharisee and the tax-collector (publican) who pray in the Temple is ultimately not about prayer, but about humility. Jesus draws the conclusion why the publican’s prayer was deemed acceptable while the Pharisee’s prayer was rejected. Our Lord says: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” With one sentence Jesus has handed humanity the cure to the cancer that plagues all human relationships: from the bedroom to the boardroom to the bordello.

Today, pray for the grace to be more humble. You will not find happiness in any of your relationships without humility. And if everyone on earth tried to be more humble, we would turn the page to a very hopeful chapter in the book of human history.

Praised be Jesus Christ!