Unfinished Homework

Handing on to children a holy inheritance

 Ezekiel 18:1-2

The word of the LORD came to me: Son of man, what is the meaning of this proverb that you recite in the land of Israel: “Fathers have eaten green grapes, thus their children’s teeth are on edge”?

             Several years ago at a priests’ retreat, the presenter made this insightful observation.  He said: “We are our parents’ unfinished homework.”  What did he mean?  Well, it’s pretty simple.  All those issues that parents struggle with but haven’t overcome – like alcoholism, or anger issues, or laziness, or not attending Mass – is their “homework.”  And all this homework that parents fail to finish is left for children to complete.  In other words, children don’t just inherit their parents’ fortunes; they also inherit their parents’ failures.  No matter how adamantly teenagers avow: “I will never be like my parents!!”  It’s no use: you will be your parents’ unfinished homework.  People ask my parents, “What did you do to inspire your son to be a priest?”  They quickly answer: “We didn’t do anything.  If he screws this up, don’t blame us!”  But, of course, they did do something.  Their completed homework is evidenced in a priestly vocation.

             In the first reading today, Ezekiel expresses this insight in more colorful language.  He says: “Fathers have eaten green grapes and thus their children’s teeth are on edge.”  That is, the children suffer for the mistakes of the parents, for their unfinished homework.  In the gospel Jesus tells the apostles, “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them.”  Jesus is addressing himself not only to the apostles, but also to parents.  Don’t give your children a bad example leading them away from me.  In other words, finish your homework!  Don’t pass on your sinful baggage down to your children.

             I think this insight into parents is helpful for another reason.  People tend to be pretty hard on their parents.  Aren’t you?  I know I am.  We don’t want to see our parents get older, or become senile, or grow weaker, or see all their unfinished homework.  We want to shout at them as they demanded of us: “Finish your homework!”  But parents are not perfect; they are human just like us, and they too make lots of mistakes.  Instead of yelling at them for their unfinished homework, maybe we should pay a little more attention to our own.  You see, when fathers eat green grapes, their children’s teeth are put on edge.  But when fathers eat grapes consecrated into the Blood of Christ, their children receive a vocation to the priesthood.  Now, go finish your homework.

Praised be Jesus Christ!