Vacation from Hell

Longing to sleep in our own bed

Genesis 46:1-4

          Israel set out with all that was his. When he arrived at Beer-sheba, he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. There God, speaking to Israel in a vision by night, called, “Jacob! Jacob!” He answered, “Here I am.” Then he said: “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for there I will make you a great nation. Not only will I go down to Egypt with you; I will also bring you back here, after Joseph has closed your eyes.”

            I have had the best summer ever, and been on vacation all over the world.  Of course, I’ve been here in the U.S. enjoying seafood in Seattle and wine in Napa Valley.  I’ve gaped in wide-eyed wonder into the Grand Canyon, and almost caught a homerun at a St. Louis Cardinals game.  I’ve taken gondola rides in Venice and stood in silent prayer looking down at the USS Arizona in Pearl Harbor.  I almost got sunburned on the beach and nearly lost my Ray Bans on a roller coaster ride.  I’ve walked through the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, the Louvre in Paris, the Prado in Madrid and the Uffizi in Florence.  And you know what else I did?  I slept in my own bed every night!  How is that possible, you’ll no doubt ask.  Easy.  I’ve been seeing everyone else’s vacation pictures on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter!  That's just like being there!  But do you know the best part of any vacation?  It’s coming home and sleeping in your own bed; unless you take vacations like me (on Facebook) and sleep in your own bed EVERY night.

            The first reading today from Genesis 46 is about a family vacation that literally “goes South” and becomes a disaster.  Jacob packs up his whole family and goes to Egypt.  And while they are in Egypt they enjoy the sites and sounds; they live in the best neighborhood of Goshen and they were people of prominence and prestige because Joseph was second in the Kingdom.  But like Chevy Chase’s “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” disaster strikes and the family becomes enslaved in Egypt.  But God promises Jacob, “Not only will I go down to Egypt with you; I will also bring you back here, after Joseph has closed your eyes.”  In other words, God promises Jacob that one day, after this vacation from hell, you will sleep in your own bed.  Too bad Jacob didn’t have Facebook – he could have slept in his own bed every night, like me.

            My friends, may I suggest to you that our whole existence on earth is kind of like the vacation from hell?  We started off great in the Garden of Eden, but then Adam, like Chevy Chase, drove the family RV off the cliff!  And we’ve been picking up the pieces of that ruined vacation ever since, trying to make the best of it on earth, making lemonade out of lemons.  Just like Jacob’s family spent 400 years in enslaved in Egypt, so Adam’s family has spent 4,000 years enslaved on earth. But God also says to us, “Not only will I go down to Egypt with you; I will also bring you back here, after Joseph has closed your eyes.”  In other words, someday, this vacation from hell – our lives on earth – will be over, and we will go home to heaven and sleep in our own beds.  That’s why St. Teresa of Avila described earthly life as “a bad night in a bad inn.”  Maybe St. Teresa had watched the movie “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” too.  The best part of any vacation is going home and sleeping in your own bed.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Free food

Learning everything is a gift from God

Matthew 10:7-15

          Jesus said to his Apostles: “As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons. Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give. Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts; no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, or sandals, or walking stick. The laborer deserves his keep. Whatever town or village you enter, look for a worthy person in it, and stay there until you leave. As you enter a house, wish it peace. If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it; if not, let your peace return to you. Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words— go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet. Amen, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.”

            I have one simple rule for being a happy and healthy and holy priest: “never say ‘no’ to food.”  I shamelessly beg for food from the pulpit (like I just did) and then eagerly accept invitations to dinner.  People often ask me, “Father, what is your favorite meal?”  I always answer: “I have two favorite foods: free food and food I didn’t have to cook!”  I look at food like “manna from heaven.”  Just like God miraculously sent food from heaven for the Israelites in the desert, so I trust God will feed me.  I’ve come to realize, though, that food is not all I’ve received freely; everything I have has been given to me at no cost.  For instance, I did not pay for the house I live in (you did!), someone gave me my car as a gift, even my clerical clothes are hand-me-downs from another priest, my shoes were a gift from a Hispanic family, my body was given to me by my parents, my soul was infused in me by God, my talents and abilities are merely on loan.  St. Augustine said that the only things truly and completely our own are our sins!  The secret to being a happy, healthy and holy priest is free food: realizing that everything is a gift from God.

            In the gospel today Jesus is trying to teach this basic rule of free food to his first priests.  He says, “Without cost you have received, without cost you are to give.”  In other words, everything you have is a gift from God.  Therefore, give all you have freely, also as a gift.  He clarifies further: “Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts, no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, no sandals or a walking stick.”  Why?  Well, because the people of God will give you new sandals for your feet, and a Toyota Avalon for a walking stick.  You see, the secret to being a happy, healthy and holy disciple is also free food, relying entirely on God's goodness.

            A Protestant friend once explained how he finally learned to tithe ten percent.  He said, “It was always hard for me to give away my hard-earned money.  Then one day our pastor explained that everything we have really belongs to God, and he just lets us borrow it briefly.  Once I realized that 100% of what I had belonged to God, then giving him 10% wasn’t so hard.”  I thought: Yeah, that’s good, but Catholics will never buy that.  St. Paul asks rhetorically in 1 Corinthians 4:7, “What do you have that you have not received?”  Take a little time today to think about your life, your house, your body, your soul, your car, your shoes and your talents.  Where did you get all that?  It’s all a gift from God.  The only things you can take any credit for are your sins. Congratulations.  My friends, the secret to being happy, healthy and holy for anyone is free food.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Wonder Bread

Feeding the world with Jesus

Genesis 41:55-57

           When hunger came to be felt throughout the land of Egypt and the people cried to Pharaoh for bread, Pharaoh directed all the Egyptians to go to Joseph and do whatever he told them. When the famine had spread throughout the land, Joseph opened all the cities that had grain and rationed it to the Egyptians, since the famine had gripped the land of Egypt. In fact, all the world came to Joseph to obtain rations of grain, for famine had gripped the whole world.

            What is your greatest need?  What is the one thing that you could not live without, without which you would die?  Is it food or shelter, or water to drink or air to breathe?  I remember in eighth grade our teacher asked us if we had to give up our television or music which one would we NOT sacrifice?  Which could you not live without?  Of course, you can live without both of them!  But I said “music.”  I couldn’t imagine life without Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd.  I mean, why bother living??  But that was the first time I realized how much I loved music; how much I needed music.

            But I would like to suggest to you that our greatest need is for God.  Without God, you could not draw your next breath and sing your favorite Beatles song.  St. Thomas Aquinas taught that not only did God create all things in the beginning, but he also keeps everything in existence by a “continuous act of creation.”  Imagine that ancient Greek god Atlas who carried the world on his shoulders.  If God ever removed his creative, loving hands that hold us in existence, we would fall into oblivion.  Our greatest need, you see, if for Atlas (the true God) not to shrug.

            In Genesis 41 the whole world faces a basic human need, the need for food.  The whole world is gripped by famine, and goes to Egypt for food.  And how does Joseph satisfy their hunger: with grain, a basic human necessity, and staple.  But Joseph was a symbol of Jesus, who would also feed the whole world with grain, the grains that make up the Bread of the Eucharist.  Every Sunday, Jesus, the new Joseph, feeds one billion Catholics with the grain of the Eucharist, satisfying their deepest hunger, our hunger for God.  This “Wonder Bread” not only sustains each of us, but it also holds the entire universe in being by a “continuous act of creation.”  That’s pretty good Bread.

            What is your greatest need?  Most of us don’t even know what we need most, like I didn’t realize how much I needed Led Zepplin in eighth grade.  Most of us don’t know that our deepest desire, our most ancient ache, is for God, who lovingly holds us in his hands, even when we don’t think about him, or love him, or even when we deny him.  Consider this: even the words that the atheist uses to reject God are only possible because God gives him the breath to utter them.  Every time you go to Mass and put that little bit of grain in your mouth, remember how Jesus feeds you like the New Joseph of Egypt.  You couldn’t even say “Amen.” If God didn’t give you the strength.  Our greatest need is for Atlas never to shrug.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Eye to Eye

Learning the culture of heaven

Genesis 32:23-31

            In the course of the night, Jacob arose, took his two wives, with the two maidservants and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had taken them across the stream and had brought over all his possessions, Jacob was left there alone. Then some man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When the man saw that he could not prevail over him, he struck Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the hip socket was wrenched as they wrestled. The man then said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go until you bless me.” The man asked, “What is your name?” He answered, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be spoken of as Jacob, but as Israel, because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed.” Jacob then asked him, “Do tell me your name, please.” He answered, “Why should you want to know my name?” With that, he bade him farewell. Jacob named the place Peniel, “Because I have seen God face to face,” he said, “yet my life has been spared.”

            Sometimes what is proper and praise-worthy in one culture can be insulting and injurious in another.  For example, here in the United States when you speak to someone you should look them in the eye.  Not to look someone in the eye means you are not being honest or you’re hiding something.  Sometimes, Fr. Andrew won’t look me in the eye when he knows he’s in trouble (just kidding).  But in many other cultures, it’s more respectful to look down when you speak to someone.  In Latin American countries, to look away is a sign of respect and honor, and to look eye to eye is improper and dishonorable.  In India we have the custom of arranged marriages, but Americans find that appalling and an affront to their fundamental freedoms.  But I just chuckle because isn’t eharmony and match.com and Christian Mingle just a sophisticated version of arranged marriages?  In American arranged marriages, mom and dad are replaced by websites and the internet: they tell you whom you should marry.  It’s not easy to navigate in this world of clashing cultures.

            In Genesis 32, Jacob experiences this culture clash in a wrestling match with an angel.  But notice that Jacob is not trying to understand the culture of the United States or India, but he’s struggling to understand the ways of heaven.  That nighttime wrestling match was a perfect symbol of the clash of heavenly and earthly cultures.  And Jacob learns two things about heaven: first, names are not important. The only name that matters in heaven is the name of  God, and it’s so holy no one is allowed to pronounce it.  And second, stepping into heaven always requires some sacrifice, so Jacob’s hip is hurt and he walked with a limp.  It’s never easy to adapt to another culture.

            My friends, in your relationships with each other be a little more sensitive to this culture clash.  Sometimes this clash happens within the same family.  Husbands and wives can feel like they come from different planets, like in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.  Parents and children feel a yawning cultural divide between them, and find it very hard to communicate and speak the same language. But most importantly be aware of the cultural clash between heaven and earth, and that we must all wrestle with angels in order to learn the heavenly culture.  The way we do things on earth may not be the way they do things in heaven.  Oh, and for all the people still up in arms about same sex marriage or even arranged marriage, you’ll be happy to know that there won’t be ANY marriage in heaven; we’ll all be like the angels in heaven, says Jesus (Matthew 22:30).  And that might make all of us limp a little bit.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

The Next Generation

Thanking the Supreme Court

Genesis 28:10-19

Jacob departed from Beer-sheba and proceeded toward Haran. When he came upon a certain shrine, as the sun had already set, he stopped there for the night. Taking one of the stones at the shrine, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep at that spot. Then he had a dream: a stairway rested on the ground, with its top reaching to the heavens; and God’s messengers were going up and down on it. And there was the LORD standing beside him and saying: “I, the LORD, am the God of your forefather Abraham and the God of Isaac; the land on which you are lying I will give to you and your descendants. These shall be as plentiful as the dust of the earth, and through them you shall spread out east and west, north and south. In you and your descendants all the nations of the earth shall find blessing. Know that I am with you; I will protect you wherever you go, and bring you back to this land. I will never leave you until I have done what I promised you.” When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he exclaimed, “Truly, the LORD is in this spot, although I did not know it!” In solemn wonder he cried out: “How awesome is this shrine! This is nothing else but an abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven!” Early the next morning Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head, set it up as a memorial stone, and poured oil on top of it. He called the site Bethel, whereas the former name of the town had been Luz.

            Parents always want to leave their children the best they can: the finest food, the best clothing, the highest education.  But what do parents leave to their grandkids?  I saw one elderly couple driving a very expensive car with a bumpersticker that read: “We’re spending our grandkids inheritance.”  I saw that in the church parking lot before Mass.  (Just kidding.)  It was meant as a joke, of course, but I wonder how many grandparents are doing exactly that.  My father made the observation recently that the best inheritance parents can leave their children is a Catholic school education.  He said, “Then, when the parents die, the children won’t fight over who gets what!  Each child will have received something priceless that they will never lose.”  We should ask ourselves today: what are we leaving the next generation?

            Jacob is asking that same question in the first reading today from Genesis 28.  Jacob has a dream in Bethel where he sees angels ascending and descending on a ladder to heaven.  And what does he do when he wakes up?  He decides to build a shrine there as an inheritance for his children and grandchildren.  In fact, the name “Beth-el” literally means “House of God.”  Jacob did not spend his grandchildren’s inheritance, rather, like my father he built a church, a school, where his children would learn how to climb to heaven.

            With the recent Supreme Court ruling, do you know who I worry about the most?  It’s your children and grandchildren.  Why?  Because they will now grow-up in a world in which they will be confused about what a normal family consists of.  You see, that bumpersticker was right: we have indeed spent our grandkids’ inheritance; we will not leave them a moral society based on Christian principles.  That, we have spent.  So, what can we leave them?  Well, the same thing that Jacob did and my father did: build a church, a school, where our children can learn about God, and find a ladder to climb to heaven.  Ironically, I believe the Supreme Court decision may have done a huge favor for Catholic schools: as parents see what is taught in public schools as “the new normal,” they may want to give their children something else.

            My father was right: give your children a Catholic school education, an inheritance that they won’t fight over, and that no one can take from them, not even the Supreme Court.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Marriage in Mayberry

Trying to be good Catholics

Mark 6:1-6

Jesus departed from there and came to his native place, accompanied by his disciples.  When the sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished.  They said, “Where did this man get all this?  What kind of wisdom has been given him?  What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands!  Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon?  And are not his sisters here with us?”  And they took offense at him. Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house.”  So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.

            We received a very strange phone call at the church office this past week.  Someone representing a Christian organization left a message saying they were very upset by the Supreme Court ruling that now all fifty states have to allow same-sex marriages.  Have you heard about that decision?  If you haven’t you must have taken a vacation to the moon this past week because everyone is talking about it!  This caller was very angry that the Supreme Court decision was written by Justice Anthony Kennedy, who is a Catholic.  And the person insisted we petition the president of the U.S. Bishops Conference, whom they called “Mr. Joseph Kurtz” (but they meant Archbishop Joseph Kurtz) to excommunicate Justice Kennedy for not upholding Catholic teaching on marriage.  The person ended by saying that if the Catholic Church did NOT excommunicate Kennedy, many good Catholics would leave the Church.  Unfortunately, they didn’t leave a number to call back, because you know how much I love to return those calls.

            But that call left me pondering and praying over two things.  First, do “good Catholics” really leave the Church when they find a teaching that’s disagreeable to them?  Would you leave the Church?  I would think a “good Catholic” would choose to stay no matter what, and not “church hop” to a faith that fits his own fancy.  All a good Catholic has to really do is “pray, pay and obey,” as we used to say.  But second, I also wondered: if the Church DID excommunicate Kennedy, how many “good Catholics” would leave the Church then?  Aren’t there many Catholics who agree with the Supreme Court decision, and celebrated this past week?  You see, we’re not really worried about “good Catholics” leaving, one way or the other, because good Catholics don’t leave their Church.  In other words, the Church does not determine doctrine by popularity polls or go with the latest cultural fad; the Church teaches what the Holy Spirit has revealed through Scripture and Tradition, handed down for two thousand years by the Apostles and their successors.  You see, a good Catholic would never leave the Church because in 1 Timothy 3:15 St. Paul says the church is “the pillar and bulwark of the truth.”  What makes a Catholic “good” is that he does not leave.

            Have you heard this little joke about marriage that’s making its rounds on email?  The writer says: “It just dawned on me why Mayberry (the fictional town of the Andy Griffith Show) was so peaceful and quiet.  Nobody was married!  Here are the single people that come to mind: Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, the Darlin Family, Helen, Thelma Lou and Clara.  In fact, the only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk.”  You see, the Church’s teaching about marriage is not meant merely for your happiness – just ask Otis! – but mainly for your holiness (to help you become a saint), and ultimately to get you to heaven, the only place you’ll find real happiness. Good Catholics know the Church’s teaching doesn’t always make them happy, but it will make them holy, and that’s why good Catholics don’t leave.

            In the gospel today, we see that even Jesus had to face the displeasure of his disciples and even his own family.  He returns to his hometown of Nazareth and you might expect he’d receive a hero’s welcome, or at least a ticker tape parade down Main Street of Nazareth.  But instead Mark writes, “They took offense at him,” just like people take offense at the Church’s teaching about marriage today.  And how did Jesus react?  “He was amazed at their lack of faith.”  But notice what Jesus did NOT do: he did not conduct an opinion poll to see what the majority of his followers believed and change his teaching accordingly.  He did not set up a think-tank to study the problem and suggest the best solutions.  He was simply amazed at their lack of faith.  You see, Jesus did not come to make the majority of the people happy, not even his own kin; he came to call the wayward children of his heavenly Father back home to heaven.

            My friends, before you pick up stones to throw at the Supreme Court, or sign petitions to get “Mr. Joseph Kurtz” to change the church’s teaching to allow gay marriage,  take a closer look in the mirror.  Are you as good a Catholic as you think?  I’ll bet you dollars to donuts there’s at least one Church teaching that makes you squirm in your seat; heck, there’s probably more than one.  For example, how happy are you with the Church’s teaching against contraception?  Yeah, that pretty much took care of everyone.  Where do you stand on abortion?  How enthusiastic are you about helping illegal immigrants?  “Ouch!” many would say.  How about capital punishment no longer being allowed?  Toby Keith and Willie Nelson couldn’t sing “whiskey for my men and beer for my horses,” a song about hanging people who commit crimes.  How did you feel about the pope’s latest letter on the environment and climate change?  Maybe Al Gore will become Catholic now.  How about missing Sunday Mass being a mortal sin?  How about the teaching on hell, and that Jesus says a lot of people are going to end up there?  Not you and I, of course, because hell is for other people.  How do you feel about purgatory, and that most people will go there after they die, and not straight to heaven?  When was the last time you went to confession?  That’s always a crowd favorite.  Don’t worry, folks, I struggle with all these things, too.  In other words, Jesus could look at each one of us, and be amazed at our lack of faith, not just those who want gay marriage.  Good Catholics know our faith is not perfect, so we repeat with that father in Mark 9:24, who wanted Jesus to heal his son, saying, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”  Only if we stay in the Church will Jesus be able to “help our unbelief.”

            A friend of mine wanted to join a very strict religious order called the Carthusians.  They have a rule of life that has not changed in a thousand years.  When someone new joins the order and wants to change the rule to modernize it, they are told: “We do not change the rule, the rule changes us.”  That’s the way a good Catholic looks at Church teaching: we do not change Church teaching, Church teaching changes us.  And it has to change all of us, even poor Otis.

            Praised be Jesus Christ!

Frown Upside Down

Changing our failures into successes

 John 20:24-29

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

             Sometimes, our biggest blunders can turn out to be our most smashing successes.  Archbishop Fulton Sheen tells the story of serving as a small boy one Sunday in the cathedral for Archbishop Spalding.  As Sheen was bringing over the water cruet, he tripped and dropped it.  He recalled: “There is no atomic explosion that can equal in decibels the sound of a cruet smashing on marble floor in a cathedral before a bishop.”  After Mass the bishop wanted to speak to Sheen, who expected to be roundly rebuked.  But the bishop asked him, “Where will you go to school?”  Sheen diplomatically answered, “Why Spalding Academy, of course!” referring to the high school named for the bishop.  “No,” Spalding said, “Tell your mother that I said when you get big you will go to Louvain University and some day you will be just as I am.”  You know, for 19 years as a priest I’ve hoped for some server to drop the water cruet so I could tell him he will be just like me!  One of the most endearing qualities of Fulton Sheen is that he didn’t hide his mistakes; rather, he saw them as moments of grace and blessing.

             Today is the Feast of St. Thomas the Apostle, whose biggest blunder was also a moment of great grace.  Today’s gospel recounts what Thomas is most commonly known for: doubting Jesus’ resurrection, hence his moniker of “Doubting Thomas.”  Thomas mistake was much greater than dropping a water cruet at Mass, but like Sheen, he didn’t hide it, but used it as a teaching moment.  Thomas helped all future disciples - you and me - see that it’s okay to have doubts, but keep believing in spite of them.  That’s why Jesus predicted in the gospel: “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”  In other words, Thomas’ failure would help all future disciples success; Thomas' sin would be our grace; Thomas' curse would be our blessing, because he did not hide his mistakes.

            Today, ask yourself: what do I do with my failure and sins – when we lose a job, or when our marriage fails, or when we commit the same stubborn sins over and over again?  If you’re like most people, you sweep them under the rug or shove them into the closet and slam the door shut, and try to forget our failures.  But that’s not your only option, nor your best option.  Those blunders can also be moments of blinding grace, if we take them to Jesus and ask him to teach us through our failures and sins.  One way to do that is by going to confession, where Jesus turns our “frown upside-down,” that is, into a smile.  I think parents do their children a great disservice when they never talk about their own struggles.  Like for Sheen and for Thomas, a father or mother’s moment of weakness may become their son or daughter’s moment of strength.  One of my favorite Scriptures is Romans 5:20, which reads, “Where sins abounds, there grace abounds all the more.”  But grace cannot abound when we hide our sins.  Now, back to praying for a server to drop the water cruet…

            Praised be Jesus Christ!