Saved by Our Spouse

Seeing Christianity in light of spousal love

10/31/2024

LK 13:18-21 Jesus said, “What is the Kingdom of God like? To what can I compare it? It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden. When it was fully grown, it became a large bush and the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches.” Again he said, “To what shall I compare the Kingdom of God? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of wheat flour until the whole batch of dough was leavened.”

Do you think that all people will be saved, that is, that in the end everyone will end up in heaven? And if you answer negatively – that is, some will go to hell – what will be the criteria to cause that condemnation? Do you feel only Roman Catholics will be saved and everyone else damned? Or, do you believe Christians in general will be saved while non-Christians will take the euphemistic "escalator down"?

Or perhaps it’s people who follow their conscience versus those who violate their own moral principles that end up in hell? Whether we agree or even like that rather sober language about heaven and hell, salvation and damnation, that was the frequent language of Jesus and the Church about what our Lord came to accomplish and the consequences of following him or abandoning him.

In short, that Christian faith revolves around being saved or not saved. As our Protestant friends like to persistently ask us Catholics: “Have you accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?” Our eternal destiny hangs in the balance of the answer we give.

Without denying any of that, let me ask you another question. Don’t you sometimes wish there was another language for the faith that didn’t emphasize heaven and hell or salvation and damnation so much? To go a step further, do you think that most modern people today fear eternal consequences for the actions? Do you think your children or grandchildren worry about heaven or hell, about salvation or damnation?

Or don’t you rather think that all such talk sounds like spiritual scare tactics, or merely Medieval mumbo-jumbo, or maybe seems irrelevant and boring to people today?  Whether we like it or not, or agree with it or not, the general cultural consensus today is that the traditional language misses the boat and does not resonate with people’s lives today.

Well, I believe Pope St. John Paul II was acutely aware of that cultural criticism of Christianity. And so he developed an entirely new language to discuss and define Christian concepts that would excite and engage modern believers and even non-believers, namely, the love of human relationships, and specifically, marriage.

That is, without denying the doctrines of heaven and hell, salvation and damnation, John Paul cast Christianity in terms of love, and marriage to Jesus Christ. Think about it: what causes the greatest joy, produces the most anguish, is celebrated most exuberantly, and talked about incessantly more than marriage? Every human being hopes to enjoy a fairy-tale wedding and dreads the day they may be divorced.

No matter how confused we may be about marriage – like same-sex marriage, or divorce and remarriage, or polygamy, or cohabitation (aka shacking up), etc. – we all know intuitively that nothing matters more than marriage. Marriage and family life are the cell of society; and we know its breakdown will be our society’s downfall. No one doubts that, even while many doubt salvation and damnation.

So, Pope St. John Paul boldly proposed we should make marriage the matrix or language with which we talk about Christianity. For example, Baptism is the moment not only that original sin is washed away and we are forgiven, but also when we become part of the Church, the Bride of Christ. Hence the traditional baptismal gown was always 20 sizes too big for the baby. Why? It was supposed to resemble a bride’s wedding dress, which has a train making it 20 sizes too big for the bride.

Or take the intimidating sacrament of reconciliation or confession, if you can even remember the last time you went. Besides forgiving actual sins, which it certainly does, think of it in terms of husbands and wives needing to ask pardon for hurting each other. Every married couple without exception has said or done something to hurt their spouse. They have had to swallow their pride, and with humble hat-in-hand, said, “I’m sorry, honey. I promise never to do that again.” Suddenly, the dreaded sacrament of confession makes perfect sense when seen in the light of spousal love.

And what about the Eucharist, the Sacrament of sacraments? Well, we can talk about Holy Communion not only in terms of eating and drinking the Body and Blood of Christ in order to have eternal life, but also in marital terms. How so? When spouses consummate their marriage on their honeymoon night the two become one flesh. Every time we receive the Body of Christ, we become sacramentally “one flesh” with Jesus our Bridegroom.

At every Mass, we consummate our mystical marriage with Christ. And that is why we have to go to confession before going to Communion, because spouses should reconcile and be one in heart before they become one in body. We can debate and doubt salvation and damnation but no one with any common sense questions how spouses relate to each other. And the pope-saint says we should make marriage the language of faith.

Of course, John Paul is building on the foundation already laid by St. Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians. He writes in our first reading today: “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her.” Can you hear how St. Paul employs marriage as a great analogy for the work of Christ? Or as we say in the South, “Christ came a courtin’!”

And one way to understand Jesus’ words today in the gospel is also in light of marital love. He compares the Kingdom of God to a small mustard seed which, “When fully grown becomes a large bush and the birds of the sky dwell in its branches.” I am convinced that what John Paul II taught about marital love as an analogy of faith is only a small seed today. But one day it will blossom into a large bush, where everyone will come to Christ, as their beloved Spouse. Oh, and then they will be saved, too.

Praised be Jesus Christ!