Priest Friends

Cherishing friends during the pandemic

10/06/2020

Luke 10:38-42 Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

One of life’s greatest pleasures that a priest rarely enjoys is close friendship, and that for a number of reasons. First and foremost, it is because most priests do not get married, so we do not enjoy the friendship and intimacy of a spouse. But that also has the beautiful blessing of keeping priests close to their mothers. Why? Simple: a priest’s mother does not have to compete with a daughter-in-law. Keep that in mind, mom, if your son starts thinking about being a priest. Priests are close to their mothers like Jesus was close to Mary.

Another cause of the lack of close companionship for priests is because we are moved from parish to parish, sometimes frequently. We hesitate, therefore, to get too close to people for fear we will have to leave them soon. Priest tend to keep people at arm’s length. And a third reason it is hard to be a priest’s friend is because he is a mystery to himself and therefore to others as well. A priest is neither fish nor fowl; he is in the world but not of the world; he is celibate but married to the Church. Archbishop Fulton Sheen characterized this conundrum saying: “It has been said of priests that, if they shoot golf under 80, there is something wrong with their priesthood; if they shoot golf over 80, there is something wrong with their golf.” A priest’s life is perfectly summarized by that ironic adage: “you cannot win for losing.” A priest is a sort of square circle, and it’s hard to be best friends with an enigma.

This is why Jesus’ close friendship with Martha, Mary and Lazarus was so remarkable and rare. These three siblings were best friends with the Eternal Enigma. Today’s gospel from Luke 10 shows one of the many instances Jesus visits his close friends Martha and Mary in Bethany, a small town about two miles east of Jerusalem. On this occasion in Luke 10, Jesus seems to scold Martha and praise Mary for “choosing the better part.” But this was not the only time our Lord lounged in Bethany.

In John 11, Jesus visits Martha and Mary shortly after Lazarus has died and performs the mighty miracle of raising their brother from the dead. But shockingly, even scandalously, do you recall how Jesus waited for Lazarus to die before he arrived in Bethany? We read in John 11:6, “So, when [Jesus] heard that [Lazarus] was ill, he remained for two days in the place where he was.” No wonder it’s hard to be best friends with a priest – sometimes they don’t show up until after your brother dies! The last time Jesus visits Bethany, with Lazarus redivivus present, was before his last Passover. On that occasion Mary took a jar of perfumed oil and anointed Jesus’ feet preparing him for his death and burial. It is hard to be best friends with a priest, especially when it is time to say goodbye to him.

My friends, one of the things this pandemic has highlighted is how precious close friends are. Many people have been stuck at home and unable to visit family and friends like they used to. Absence has made the heart grow fonder and taught us how much we need our friends, who add meaning and magic to our lives. We miss dinners together, tail-gaiting before games, camping with friends, etc. As you try to connect with family and friends, try to reach out to your priest friends as well. Maybe you are blessed to be like a modern-day Bethany for some modern-day priest, where he can come and rest from his apostolic activities.

But remember, he may not always come when you call him, even if your brother is deathly sick. A priest is a mystery to others because he is a mystery to himself. It’s hard to be best friends with an enigma. The main thing you have to keep an eye on is if his golf game is getting too good.

Praised be Jesus Christ!