The Bachelorette

Seeing marriage as life-long, monogamous and heterosexual

11/23/2019

Luke 20:27-40 Some Sadducees, those who deny that there is a resurrection, came forward and put this question to Jesus, saying, "Teacher, Moses wrote for us, If someone's brother dies leaving a wife but no child, his brother must take the wife and raise up descendants for his brother. Now there were seven brothers; the first married a woman but died childless. Then the second and the third married her, and likewise all the seven died childless. Finally the woman also died. Now at the resurrection whose wife will that woman be? For all seven had been married to her." Jesus said to them, "The children of this age marry and remarry; but those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age and to the resurrection of the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage. They can no longer die, for they are like angels; and they are the children of God because they are the ones who will rise.

Probably on no one issue does our culture and our Christianity clash over more than on marriage. And I am afraid that clash will get louder and cause more casualties, especially for Christianity as more Christians choose their culture over their faith. Modern culture has put Christian marriage in its cross-hairs and taken dead aim at life-long, monogamous, heterosexual marriage. This culture clash started all the way back in the 1960’s with the free-love movement, where we chanted, “Make love not war.” It has crescendoed in the same-sex marriage movement, which became legal on June 26, 2015 by the Supreme Court decision Obergefell versus Hodges. Any religion that revolts against this cultural tidal wave will be seen as reactionary and regressive and ultimately irrelevant.

But we don’t have to look outside the Church to find the clash between culture and Christianity. It is raging right in our own hearts and in our homes. How do we usually feel about human love, even enshrined in life-long, monogamous, heterosexual marriage? Most Christians would say marriage lasts forever, even in heaven we will be married to our spouse. But that’s not entirely accurate. Our faith teaches that marriage is for earth, not for heaven; it is life-long, meaning for this life, not for the next life; it is a sacrament but a sacrament of service while we walk in this world, not when we step foot into paradise.

Think about it for a moment. The Church does not hesitate to allow widows and widowers to marry. So, when that person – the widow who remarried – enters heaven, will they have two spouses in heaven? Or, maybe she will see which was was the nicer one and keep that one and discard the other? Can you see how even honest, faithful, Church-going Catholics can fall prey to this culture clash? The culture wars are not waged very far from our own hearts and our own homes.

In the gospel today, Jesus weighs in on this culture war regarding marriage. The Sadducees present a predicament of a woman who married seven brothers and finally they all die. Then they ask: “Now at the resurrection whose wife will that woman be? For all seven had been married to her.” That question would have stumped modern American Catholics who feel marriage goes on into heaven. So we might answer that the woman gets to pick the best husband of the seven brothers, like in the television show “The Bachelorette.” That seems to us like only fair way to handle the situation. And perhaps the other six brothers can go be on the show “The Bachelor” and try to find a beautiful woman in heaven.

But is that what Jesus answers to this cultural conundrum? Our Lord’s reply is simple, straight-forward, and also startling. He states like a thunderclap echoing down the centuries: “The children of this age (earth) marry and remarry; but those who are deemed worthy to attain to the coming age (heaven) and to the resurrection of the dead neither marry not are given in marriage.” In other words, marriage is for earth not for heaven. When the Church defines marriage as life-long, monogamous, and heterosexual, most Catholics get the monogamous and heterosexual parts: between one man and one woman. But like the Sadducees, we are stumped with the life-long part. We would like marriage to continue into eternity. But Jesus says in heaven there will only be bachelors and bachelorettes. Indeed, Our Lord insists: “They are, like the angels.”

My friends, probably nowhere else do we invest more of our time, talent and treasure than into our families and our marriages. And that’s a good thing. But we should also be careful to recalibrate our expectations for marriage and family according to Christian values instead of cultural values. Sometimes very innocently and unwares, we stand on the side of our culture over and against our Christianity, especially when it comes to matters of marriage. Pray for the gift to see marriage and family life through the eyes of faith, and then read Luke 20 again. And keep reading that passage of scripture until it makes perfect sense.

Praised be Jesus Christ!