My Brother Satan

Seeing and struggling with sibling rivalry

07/11/2019

GN 44:18-21, 45:1-5 Judah approached Joseph and said: "I beg you, my lord, let your servant speak earnestly to my lord, and do not become angry with your servant, for you are the equal of Pharaoh. My lord asked your servants, 'Have you a father, or another brother?' So we said to my lord, 'We have an aged father, and a young brother, the child of his old age. This one's full brother is dead, and since he is the only one by that mother who is left, his father dotes on him.' Then you told your servants, 'Bring him down to me that my eyes may look on him. Unless your youngest brother comes back with you, you shall not come into my presence again.' When we returned to your servant our father, we reported to him the words of my lord. "Come closer to me," he told his brothers. When they had done so, he said: "I am your brother Joseph, whom you once sold into Egypt. But now do not be distressed, and do not reproach yourselves for having sold me here. It was really for the sake of saving lives that God sent me here ahead of you."

Are you familiar with the phrase, “sibling rivalry”? That’s th

e experience of brothers and sisters competing for their parents’ attention, love and approval. Each sibling tries to prove that he or she is better than the others. By the way, there is absolutely no sibling rivalry in my family because I am clearly my parents’ favorite child. If we’re honest, however, we will admit that our own families have all suffered from sibling rivalry, sometimes leading to bitter separations and never talking to each other. At the very extreme, it leads to murder. Psychologists tell us sibling rivalry can be caused, at least partially, by birth order, and by how parents treat their children. I was talking to one mother of five children recently, who said by the time she was trying to raise the fifth child she would say: “I don’t care what you do, but just do it quietly.”

In Genesis 44 and 45, we reach the climax of the story of Joseph the dreamer and the proud owner of the coat of many colors. If that story highlights anything, it shines a very bright light on sibling rivalry. Take a minute to recall who Joseph was. He was the youngest son of Jacob, who had twelve sons, and those sons would become the twelve tribes of Israel. But Joseph was the youngest, and Jacob’s favorite, and that’s why he got the coat of many colors in the first place. That coat was the mantle of superiority over his siblings, and why they wanted to kill him, but finally decided to sell him into slavery. Can you see how sibling rivalry, pushed by preferential parenting, leads to serious problems, and sometimes murder?

But I would suggest to you that sibling rivalry not only marks and mars the history of the family of Jacob – which is eventually the nation of Israel – but it likewise undermines all human history. What is human history if not the long sordid story of sibling rivalry, where we struggle with one another for superiority and try to win our Father’s favor? I am convinced that the deepest desire in the human heart is to hear our heavenly Father say, “I am proud of you.” But that desire becomes deformed and destructive when we want to hear him say: “I am more proud of you than your brother.” We may not know that’s what motivates us, but neither do most siblings vying for superiority.

The story of Joseph and the sibling rivalry of his eleven brothers also help s us understand who Jesus is and how we treated him. He is not only our Lord and Savior – he is certainly that – but he is also the highly favored One of the Father. On the Mount of Transfiguration described in Matthew 17:2, Jesus doesn’t get a “coat of many colors,” but rather we read: “his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became white as light.” In other words, just like Jacob’s favorite was Joseph, so the heavenly Father’s favorite was Jesus, who is clothed in the mantle of superiority. And how did we react to that preferential treatment of our Brother? Eh, we murdered him.

But then comes the important part. Our Lord forgave us for that sin committed through sibling rivalry. Joseph’s merciful words to his brothers could be found almost verbatim falling from our Lord’s lips on the Cross: “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you once sold into Egypt. But now do not be distressed and do not reproach yourselves for having sold me here. It was really for the sake of saving lives that God sent me ahead of you.” If sibling rivalry is the great cancer of the human race, then Jesus Christ is the cure, and Joseph was like a vaccination.

I hope you can already see some of the practical applications of this reflection on sibling rivalry sparked by today’s scriptures. Here are three I can think of. First, humbly acknowledge that your family suffers from sibling rivalry and that your behavior is probably motivated by it, even if you do not know it. Pray for the grace to forgive your siblings and ask for their forgiveness. You’ll notice the rivalry when you try to do that. Secondly, try to see all human history, and especially the actions of world leaders today, through the lens of sibling rivalry. Whether we realize it or not, are we not all brothers and sisters trying to show we are better than each other, and win our Father’s approval? We want to hear him say, “I am proud of you.” And sometimes, we are even willing to kill each other for it.

And third, sibling rivalry is what motivated Satan to tempt Adam and Eve and to tempt us to fall. Satan is also our brother, who was created before us, sort of a first born. And he is jealous of how much God loves us, Satan’s little brothers and sisters, and he wants to murder us. And when we give in to sibling rivalry we behave like our older brother, Satan.

Praised be Jesus Christ!