Maternal Muster

Appreciating how mothers smile through tears of love

06/09/2018

Luke 2:41-51 Each year Jesus' parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, "Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety." And he said to them, "Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he said to them. He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.

God has made a mother’s heart the most resilient and reliable thing in the whole created cosmos, so much so that even the angels stand in awe of them. Why did God do that?  Well, it’s because their children (you and I) are constantly putting that maternal muster to the test, to see how far we can stretch that resiliency and sound that reliability. Now the surprising thing is we sometimes see if our mom’s pass muster not only when we do something naturally bad (like get in trouble), but also when we attempt something supernaturally good (like find our vocation); not only when we fail to do our human parents’ earthly will but when we try to do our divine Father’s heavenly will. But even then a mom’s heart never skips a beat of love but stays strong.

I’ll never forget when I put my own wonderful mother’s heart to the test when I announced my intention to become a priest. I was a junior in high school, and I decided to tell my whole family at supper one evening. Each person had a different reaction, and while my mom tried to paint a smile on her face, she did not entirely hide her disappointment. Of course, her initial reaction was perfectly understandable. She thought her son was embarking on a life of sacrifice and solitude without the created comforts of married love and family life that give the greatest joys on earth. My vocation seemed to fall short of all their expectations for my life made possible by their sacrifices to come to this country from India. But she still smiled through the tears at that dinner.

Now, however, my mom has no regrets that I’m a priest because the reality is that every priest is pampered in his parish, and every priest’s mother is treated like the Queen of Sheba whenever she enters the doors of his parish church. Nevertheless, my mother’s heart was tested maybe more not when I did something naturally wrong as when I chose something supernaturally good. The former makes sense to reason, but the latter requires the gift of faith.

The same dynamic of love was operative in the heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary when Jesus tested her by choosing a supernatural good, namely, his Father’s will. At the decisive age of twelve – when our natural awareness is at its apex but our passions of puberty have not been released from their cage – Jesus goes to the Temple for the annual Jewish pilgrimage. But he remains behind to start his Messianic mission of engaging the Jewish authorities and getting under their olive skins. After they find him, Mary asks, perhaps smiling through her own tears, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” To which Jesus unperturbedly replied: “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Notice how Mary’s heart is on the earthly level – she says Jesus’ father is Joseph and his house is in Nazareth, where Jesus belongs. But our Lord’s heart is on the heavenly level – he says his Father is God and his house is the Temple, and that’s where Jesus belongs. It might have been easier for Mary’s maternal love to deal with Jesus staying out too late after his bar mitzvah (a natural wrong), than with his decision to seek God’s will (a supernatural good). The first only requires reason, the second needs the help of faith.

It would be very easy to multiply modern-day examples of passing maternal muster, seeing how a mother’s heart is tested in its resiliency and reliability. But all such tests would fall under two headings: natural tests and supernatural tests. And while we would all like to think that it would be far easier when a mother faces the moment of truth and love when her son or daughter chooses to do the heavenly Father’s will (instead of their earthly mom or dad’s will to be a doctor or lawyer), in fact it is much header. Our mothers know us well, especially our weaknesses, and so their hearts are ready to deal with us when we sin (they see it coming), better than when we want to be a saint (they don’t see that coming). But even then we can always see the true strength of a mother’s heart, its resilience and reliability, because she will always manage to smile through the tears.

That’s the moment when her own maternal muster will reach the heights of holiness of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. With the Blessed Virgin Mary, our mothers too, will “keep all these things in their hearts.” That’s when a mother’s heart begins to beat not only with the everyday drumbeat of reason but also with far away cadences of faith.

Praised be Jesus Christ!