Avatars

Learning we cannot love those we do not know

08/06/2017

Matthew 17:1-9 b Jesus took Peter, James, and his brother, John, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. And he was transfigured before them;  his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light. And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, conversing with him. Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, "Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah." While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them, then from the cloud came a voice that said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him." When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate and were very much afraid. But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Rise, and do not be afraid." And when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone.

  

           Do you know what an “avatar” is? Most Americans will recognize it as the title to a science-fiction movie. But perhaps you’ll also be familiar with the computer-generated avatars that we use every day. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines avatars like this: “an electronic image that represents and is manipulated by a computer user in a virtual space (as in a computer game or an online shopping site) and that interacts with other objects in the space.” A friend sends me text messages with little figures – a sort of “avatar” – that have her eyes and glasses and hairstyle, and other facial features. Have you seen those? I’m sorry to say this, but the avatar is a little more flattering-looking than the real person; but that’s precisely the point, isn’t it? Avatars are supposed to “enhance” us, make us appear better than we really are.

            In 2007, Brad Paisley, the country music star, released a hit song called “Online.” He sang about a middle aged, overweight man, who still lived in his parents’ basement. But a marvelous transformation occurs whenever he sits down at his computer and goes “online.” He sings: “Cause online I’m out in Hollywood / I’m 6’5 and I look dang good / I drive a Maserati / I’m a black belt in Karate / And I love a good glass of wine.” The refrain of the song says it all: “I’m so much cooler on line; I’m so much cooler online.” That’s the real allure of avatars: they make us look “cooler,” they hide our imperfections, they make us appear younger and richer and funnier. But all the while, the real “us” remains hidden in the basement of our parents’ home, and really in the basement of our hearts. No one knows the real me, they only know my avatar.

            When I prepare couples for marriage I give them this advice: “The worst thing that can happen to you on your wedding day is that you marry a stranger.  You may fall in love with an image – an avatar – that is merely a mask, and you don’t know the real person. Everyone wants to look like the “perfect 10” but we’re not. On the other hand, the best thing that can happen to you on your wedding day is that you look at each other and say: ‘Look, honey, I know you’re not the knight in shining armor, but I want to marry you anyway.’ How wonderful it would be for someone to know the real me – warts and weaknesses and weird habits and all – and still want to spend their life with me! Real love is always based on real knowledge of another person, and that’s only possible when we stop hiding behind our avatars.

            Today we celebrate the great Feast of the Transfiguration, which Pope St. John Paul II added as the fourth luminous mystery of the rosary. In a sense, you could say the Transfiguration is about Jesus sort of dropping his avatar for a brief moment so the apostles could see his glorious divinity. Now, let me add that Jesus’ human nature is not really an avatar because Jesus really IS a human being “tempted like us in all things but never sinned” as Hebrew 4:15 insists. But today Jesus wants the apostles to see his divine nature, his glory, his Godhead. Why? Well, because Jesus doesn’t want them to fall in love with a stranger, but rather, for them to know the real Jesus: God and yet man, eternal but also temporal, all-powerful and all-knowing but also “growing in wisdom, age and grace” (Luke 2:52). Jesus invited them into the depths of his heart – into his basement, you might say – so they could see the depths of the mystery of Christ.

              Romano Guardini, a particularly insightful theologian, wrote: “The greatest of all graces is to love the Lord with a heart fully conscious of what it is about; to love not only ‘our dear Savior’ in the impersonal sense which the phrase so often has, but Christ himself, corporeally and spiritually, as one loves an irreplaceable person to whom one is bound through thick and thin” (The Lord, 222). In other words, don’t just love Jesus’ avatar, the Jesus of pious paintings, but love the real Jesus. That’s what the Transfiguration teaches: true love is possible only where there is true knowledge of the person we say we love.

            My friends, what are the avatars that you hide behind? That is, what are the masks and mirages, disguises and deceptions that make others thing you’re “so much cooler” than you really am? Has the rise of social media – Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, Snapchat, etc. – made it harder for us to love other people? It’s funny how easy it is to text someone, but sometimes I find awkward talking to face to face. Does that happen to you? We need the lesson of the Transfiguration and invite people into our basement, into our hearts, and see the real us; or else, they only love the avatar. Sometimes priests can hide behind the Roman collar, and it’s almost like an avatar of authority but also sadly of alienation. Many years ago, a priest friend of mine committed suicide, which stunned everyone who knew him. Even though everyone loved him, he left behind a note that said, “I didn’t think anyone loved me.” He needed the grace of the Transfiguration, and allow people to see him in his basement, in his heart of hearts, to see the person behind the priesthood. During World War II many Germans changed their names to sound more American: they hid behind a false name like an avatar. We use avatars so people think we’re “so much cooler” than we really are.

             Most of us are not 6’5, live in Hollywood, drive Maserati’s, hold a black belt in Karate, we may not even look “dang good.” But God made each of us precious and irreplaceable because he made us in his image and likeness; that’s what’s really hiding in our basement! And if someone doesn’t love you for that, maybe their love is not worth having.

Praised be Jesus Christ!