Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Beta Alpha Delta

Seeing how God tricks us into heaven
Jeremiah 20:7
You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me, and you triumphed. All the day I am an object of laughter; everyone mocks me.
Matthew 16:21-23
Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer greatly from the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed and on the third day be raised.  Then Peter took Jesus aside and began to rebuke him, “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.”  He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me.  You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.”

             In all human relationships sooner or later we employ certain tricks of the trade; we have to persuade someone to do something disagreeable, something they don’t really want to do.  For example, parents have to convince children to eat broccoli by hiding it under mountains of cheese.  A young man entices a young lady to go on a date with him by wearing a suit and tie and attending Mass with her.  Welcome gentlemen!  A priest has to persuade people to give more money in the collection – and I still have no clue how to do that!  The former principal of Catholic High School for Boys in Little Rock, Fr. George Tribou, had mastered certain tricks of the trade with teenagers.  He refused to install air-conditioning in the entire school, except for two areas: the library and the chapel.  Those two spaces were always cool and comfortable, and the doors were wide open in welcome!  The only way to get teenage boys to go to heaven is make the rest of the school hot as hell!  Sometimes, when you have to persuade someone to do something hard, you don’t just go up to them and ask them.  You have to enter by way of the side door, and use certain tricks of the trade.

            We see in the readings today that even God has to resort to some tricks of the trade, a certain divine power of persuasion, to motivate the half-hearted.  In the first reading Jeremiah the prophet complains, “You have duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped.”  That is, he was duped into being a prophet.  You see, Jeremiah never wanted to be a prophet, but he also knew he couldn’t resist a deeper impulse in his bones to talk about God.  Jeremiah was like the little boy who didn’t really want to eat the broccoli, but he also couldn’t resist the cheese God had heaped on top.  In the gospel today, Peter tries to dissuade Jesus from carrying the cross.  But Jesus says, “Get thee behind me, Satan, and stop telling me not to eat the broccoli of suffering.  My heavenly Father doesn’t need to use any tricks to convince me to eat the broccoli even when there is no cheese.  I know what’s good.”  Peter, however, was saying, “Say ‘No!’ to the broccoli; just eat the cheese!!!”  But for Jeremiah, Peter and everyone else, God has to use tricks of the trade to get them to do his will, to do something hard.

            Did you know that God often uses tricks to call men to the priesthood?  Of course we want to be priests because we love Jesus and we want to serve people (at least that’s what we tell everyone!).  But that’s not how God usually gets our attention in the beginning.  A few years ago, the Diocesan Vocations office made tee-shirts with the top 10 reasons to be a priest.  Here are a few.  One, we can eat free in Mexican restaurants.  And that really works!  Two, we always have a seat at Christmas Children’s Mass, when everyone else is looking for one.  And third, every time I visit a family with many children running around like banshees I thank God he called me to be a priest!  (Not anyone here at I.C. of course!)  Here’s a more recent reason to be a priest.  We now have 4 priests living at the rectory here at I.C. and it has given a whole new meaning to the term, “priestly fraternity.”  In fact, we’ve given the rectory a new name, it’s three Greek letters: Beta, Alpha, Delta, which spells, “BAD.”  So, we now have a Greek Fraternity on the I.C. campus.  Here’s another reason to be a priest.  One day a 5 year old declared to his mother he wanted to be a priest.  His mother said, “That’s fine with us.  But what made you want to do that?”  The boy answered, “Well, I have to go to church anyway.  I figure it would be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit down and listen.”  But you see, sooner or later in our priesthood, every priest echoes the words of Jeremiah: “You have duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped.”  We ate the broccoli and cheese of God’s will, and we drank the cool-aid of being Catholic clergy.  But do you know what?  I’ve never been happier in my life.  Sometimes, God enters our hearts through the side door by using certain tricks of the trade.  God has to trick us to do his will, to do something hard.  That’s the only way he’ll get any of us into heaven.

            You know, it’s not just prophets and priests that God dupes and tricks into doing his will, he dupes all of us.  Throughout our lives, I believe, God uses certain strategic tricks of the trade to draw us closer to himself without our noticing.  Small children can’t wait to go to Catholic school because they want to wear those plaid uniforms.  Tricks of the trade!  Second graders can’t wait to receive Holy Communion.  But do you know who God is really working on?  It’s the parents of those children.  THEY need God more than those 8 year olds do.  Tricks of the trade!  Young men again darken the doors of a church to impress a young lady.  One of the greatest forces of evangelization is beautiful Catholic girls!  Tricks of the trade!  After you have your first child, suddenly you become aware of God in a powerful way.  Dr. Janet Smith, who taught philosophy at the University of Dallas, called having a baby, “induced maturity.”  Tricks of the trade!  As we grow older and retire and our bodies grow weaker, we think about death and leaving this world.  Older parishioners flock to daily Mass, to make up for all those Sunday Masses they had skipped.  Tricks of the trade!  Do you really think all these things are happening to us by accident?  Not at all.  Like every good parent, God asks himself: “How do I get my kids to eat broccoli?  How do I get them to attend Mass on Labor Day?  How do I get them to love me above everything and to love their neighbor as themselves?  So God comes in through the side door, using certain tricks of the trade, and dupes you and me into doing his will, into doing something hard, because God knows you have to put a mountain of cheese on the broccoli.

            You see, it’s not just teenage boys who have to be tricked into going to heaven by making the rest of the school hot as hell, so do we all.  And if you allow yourself to be duped by God and do his will, you’ll discover what I did.  You’ll be incredibly happy.  But if you want to be really happy, though, you should join this new fraternity called Beta, Alpha, Delta.


            Praised be Jesus Christ!

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