My Brother Priest

Raising the cup of salvation and calling on the name of the Lord

05/11/2019

John 6:60-69 Many of the disciples of Jesus who were listening said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it?” Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, “Does this shock you? What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the Spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe.” Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him. And he said, “For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father.” As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer walked with him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?” Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

Today, May 11, is a historic day in the diocese of Little Rock because we will have a new priest ordained in Rome. Normally, our priests are ordained here in Arkansas. To be a little more precise, he has already been ordained when we recall that Rome is seven hours ahead of Central Standard Time in the United States. That is, if it’s 7 a.m. here in Fort Smith, it is currently 2 p.m. in Rome, Italy. Congratulations, Fr. Martin Amaro, on your priesthood ordination! It seems ironic to talk about “time” in the Eternal City, yet so it is until we arrive in our true home of heaven, where time stops ticking. Bishop Taylor, together with several diocesan priests, traveled to Rome and our bishop celebrated Fr. Martin’s ordination earlier today. Apparently, the pope was busy with something more important, but what could possibly be more important than ordaining the next associate pastor of Immaculate Conception Church?

I’m sorry that I don’t really know Fr. Martin personally. I’ve only seen his soft smile on the seminarian poster. But I would like to say three things about him relative to the three scripture readings today.

First, in Acts 9, we see Peter performing mighty miracles, even raising the dead to life. Even though one could argue the Acts of the Apostles is predominantly about St. Paul, there is no doubt about the preeminence of the Petrine ministry, that Peter is the first of the apostles. Peter’s apostolic authority will be on full display and demonstrated in a definitive way in Acts 15, at the first church council in Jerusalem. After Peter speaks the discussion is settled. As St. Augustine famously put it: “Roma locuta, causa finita est” (Rome has spoken, the case is closed). It’s significant, therefore, that Fr. Martin has studied theology for four years in Rome, close to the heart and head of the Church, Pope Francis, the successor of St. Peter. In Acts 9:38 in today’s scripture, we read: “The disciples, hearing that Peter was [in Joppa] sent two men to him with the request, ‘Please come to us without delay’.” We can expect our new associate pastor to teach us that same respect and reverence for Pope Francis, the 265th successor of St. Peter. Fr. Martin will know well how to translate that adage, “Roma locuta, cause finita est.”

Secondly, I love Psalm 116, and always hear it as a profoundly Eucharistic hymn of praise and thanksgiving. Listen to verses 12-13: “How can I repay the Lord / for all the great good done for me? / I will raise the cup of salvation / and call on the name of the Lord.” When I was ordained twenty-three years ago, I remember very well being hit by two powerful feelings. On the one hand, I was aware of how unworthy I was to be a priest; I’m a sinful man. On the other hand, I was deeply grateful that God called me anyway, in spite of my sins. Every day I celebrate Mass and lift up the cup of salvation (the chalice), Psalm 116 comes to mind. Every day that goes by, I become more aware of my own unworthiness and also of God’s great goodness.

Today, for the first time, Fr. Martin raised that “cup of salvation” as a priest, and “called upon the name of the Lord.” When he arrives here in Fort Smith, I hope he will share how he feels every time he celebrates Mass for us. He will “raise the cup of salvation” not only “in the name of the Lord,” but also in our name, as he prays for us. And today for the first time Fr. Martin fulfilled Psalm 116.

Finally, a word about the gospel from John 6, the conclusion of Jesus’ Bread of Life discourse and his command to eat his Body and drink his Blood. When the vast majority of disciples are scandalized and abandon our Lord, Jesus turns to the twelve to ask if they will leave him, too. Peter, the first of the apostles, replies humbly: “Master, to whom shall we go, you have the words of eternal life.” In spite of all his sins, struggles, and stubbornness, Peter stayed faithful to Christ. Fr. Martin has completed four years of theology studies at the Pontifical North American College in Rome. At the root of all his religious studies resides that unshakable faith of St. Peter, the Rock, on which Jesus built his church.

I read an article recently on the clergy sexual abuse scandal and the write interviewed the men (maybe even Fr. Martin) studying at the NAC (the acronym for the North American College). The NAC is sometimes called “The West Point of the American Church” because that’s where bishops send their best and brightest seminarians. (I was not sent to Rome, by the way.) Then head of the seminary, the rector, Fr. Peter Harman, said the scandal has been hard on the seminarians at the NAC. He also observed: “None of us would have asked for this scandal and the hurt its caused. But perhaps, and I trust in God’s goodness, if this makes us want to be priests for the right reasons, then let it be.” In other words, that’s the kind of faith Peter had and that’s the kind of faith I hope Fr. Martin has and I can’t wait to learn from him.

The article ended with this optimistic note, again quoting Fr. Harman. “In that sense,” he said, clearly aware of the irony of what he was about to say, “this is a good time to be in the Church.” And I would personally only add, “It is even a better time to be a priest,” like the newly ordained associate of Immaculate Conception. Today, Fr. Martin became my brother priest, and he will be forever.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Feeble Senses

Leaning on a strong faith not feeble senses

05/10/2019

Acts of the Apostles 9:1-20 Saul, still breathing murderous threats against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, that, if he should find any men or women who belonged to the Way, he might bring them back to Jerusalem in chains. On his journey, as he was nearing Damascus, a light from the sky suddenly flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" He said, "Who are you, sir?" The reply came, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city and you will be told what you must do." The men who were traveling with him stood speechless, for they heard the voice but could see no one. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him to Damascus. For three days he was unable to see, and he neither ate nor drank.

Some of God’s greatest gifts to us are our five senses: sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste. Who doesn’t love seeing a blazing sunset in the evening, or hearing the melancholy melody of “The Piano Man” belted out by Billy Joel, or sink their teeth and taste Chef Ben’s signature short-ribs, or the touch of a tender kiss or warm embrace, or the smell of honeysuckle or jasmine, which are everywhere lately. That’s a lot better than what we sometimes smell around Fort Smith. These gifts of the five senses were intended to raise our minds and hearts to the divine Giver so that we would praise him and thank him. But what often happens? We grab the gift and forget the Giver; we stop at the senses that bless the body but fail to notice and nurture the soul. And therefore these amazing assets can slowly subvert into lamentable liabilities.

St. Thomas Aquinas readily recognized the limitations of our five senses when we deal with matters of faith, especially when it comes to Holy Communion and the Holy Eucharist. Aquinas wrote some of the most moving hymns for Eucharistic adoration, that all Catholics are familiar with. And yet he never wanted us to stop at the senses – the hymn – but rather surpass the senses and reach the supreme Source of all blessing, namely, God himself. He wrote and we sing: “Down in adoration falling, / Lo! the sacred Host we hail, / Lo! o’er ancient forms departing / Newer rites of grace prevail; / Faith for all defects supplying, / Where the feeble senses fail.” I love that phrase “feeble senses” because they are indeed feeble when they deal with objects of faith, like the Eucharist. Jesus says in the gospel today that the Bread of Communion is the Body of Christ we must eat. St. Thomas was a pretty portly person and would have loved Chef Ben’s short-ribs. But he always sensed that the senses can quickly convert from an asset to a liability if we love them too much. Our senses are fabulous but they are also feeble.

In the Acts of the Apostles, St. Paul also learns the lesson of how feeble his senses are when it comes to faith. He is on the road to Damascus when he is stripped of his five senses in order to behold Jesus. Our Lord says to him: “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” In order for Saul to become Paul, he had to relinquish his reliance on his senses and start to walk by faith and not by sight. We read a little later: “For three days he was unable to see, and he neither ate nor drank.” No Chef Ben’s short-ribs for Saul until he becomes Paul. This encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus was the central event of Paul’s life, and everything else would revolve around it. He would tell the story again in Acts 22, and also in Acts 26. He also makes mention of it in Galatians 1 and in 1 Corinthians 15. Like St. Thomas, St. Paul had to “fall down in adoration” and recognize how feeble his senses were for dealing with faith. The five senses are fabulous but they are also feeble.

My friends, have you noticed how as we grow older, we, too, slowly lose our senses? What happened to Saul suddenly and swiftly happens to us more slowly and successively. My optometrist told me that between the ages of forty and forty-five, people’s eyesight diminishes and we need glasses. Older people often lose their hearing. Half of you probably cannot hear this homily. Our sense of touch is troubled and we find it hard to keep our balance as we walk because we cannot feel the ground. The same food and drink don’t taste as good to us as they once did. And maybe even smell is slightly curbed for some, which might not be so bad around here.

While the loss of our senses is sad, it may also be a strange blessing. Why? Sometimes it’s only when our senses become feeble that our faith becomes strong. Just ask Saul the Pharisee. As we grow older we must learn to walk more by faith and less by sight, because heck, we cannot see anything anyway. Just look around this church and notice most of the people at Mass are older. Why? It’s not just because you are retired and have too much time on your hands. It is also because your feeble senses help you to have a stronger faith.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Consulting the Faithful

Learning from ordained clergy and ordinary Christians

05/09/2019

John 6:44-51 Jesus said to the crowds: “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draw him, and I will raise him on the last day. It is written in the prophets: They shall all be taught by God. Everyone who listens to my Father and learns from him comes to me. Not that anyone has seen the Father except the one who is from God; he has seen the Father. Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the desert, but they died; this is the bread that comes down from heaven so that one may eat it and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my Flesh for the life of the world."

Two weeks ago I went home to Little Rock to visit my parents, and they asked me to drive them to Calvary Cemetery in Little Rock. They wanted to show me their burial plots, and they even showed me the headstones with their names on it and their birthdays. You can imagine the size of the lump in my throat. All three of us stood silently, facing the future, and the final fate of every man, woman and child that has ever been born on this sad earth. Before we left, I decided to walk over to the so-called Priests Circle, where now Monsignor John O’Donnell is buried. I walked slowly around the circle praying the Hail Mary for each priest who had passed to his eternal reward. I felt a deep sense of gratitude to them for their life spent in service to the gospel, teaching and preaching the faith. How many people today walk with a pep in their step thanks to the sermons of those good shepherds?

Then I went on a scavenger hunt to find Fr. George Tribou’s grave. He choose to be buried among the lay people, and he was hard to find because his tombstone was flat on the ground, and not upright. I said a prayer for him and thanked him because I would not be a priest today without his example and exhortations. For example, he taught me that French kissing a girl is like using someone else’s toothbrush. He knew how to inspire a priestly vocation.

Visiting cemeteries is a practice my parents taught me every time we travel back to India. Our first stop is the cemetery to pray our respects and recite our prayers for our deceased loved ones. We buy flowers and candles from vendors seated outside the cemetery gates and lay them on the graves and pray a decade of the rosary for each person. Oddly enough, I also feel a deep sense of gratitude to my grandparents and other relatives for teaching me the faith and encouraging my vocation. For instance, my grandmother sacrificially took care of our family when my grandfather left the family for several years. He was doing battle with his own demons. When he returned, she welcomed him home and now they are both buried together. Her life was one of the most eloquent sermons ever preached by a lay person on the love of Jesus. In other words, we learn our faith not only from ordained priests, but also from ordinary people, the laity. We should be thankful to both.

Our scriptures today touch on this interplay in learning the faith from both the ordinary clergy but also from the ordinary Christian. In Acts of the Apostles 8, Philip, one of the first bishops of the Church, is sent by the Holy Spirit to teach an Ethiopian magistrate. Philip asks him if he understands the text of Isaiah he is reading. The Ethiopian answers: “How can I, unless someone instructs me?” In other words, like I needed Fr. Tribou to teach me in high school, so the Ethiopian needed Philip to instruct him in the faith, the ordained clergy. But in the gospel Jesus declares (quoting Isiah 54): “They shall all be taught by God.” That is, the Holy Spirit can – and does – directly teach all Christians, like he taught my grandmother how to love my grandfather in a heroic way. Blessed John Henry Newman wrote a lovely little essay called “Consulting the Faithful on Matters of Doctrine” and insisted the faithful are a “barometer” of true belief, even sometimes when the clergy can’t be. When it comes to faith formation, therefore, we are indebted not only to ordained priests but also to ordinary people.

May I mention one area where it seems imperative that we learn from consulting the faithful today? That is when it comes to the crisis of clergy sexual abuse of minors. Over the past twenty years or so the clergy has demonstrated a definite deficiency of leadership on this tragic issue. Basically, we priests cannot police ourselves. We need the lay faithful to help hold us accountable. The lay faithful feel a lot of righteous indignation at the loss of credibility and the lack of transparency. That anger and anxiety should be transformed into helpful reform and renewal for the Church. Like my grandmother was a shining example of sacrificial love, so we priests need to learn anew from saintly lay people how to love like Jesus.

Maybe this is one reason Fr. Tribou chose to be buried in the midst of the lay faithful at Calvary Cemetery. In death, as in life, perhaps he felt he still had much to learn from them. Although, I’m sure he insists on using his own toothbrush in heaven.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Tears for Lenses

Seeing through tears to see the truth

05/08/2019

Mark 16:9-15 When Jesus had risen, early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She went and told his companions who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that he was alive and had been seen by her, they did not believe. After this he appeared in another form to two of them walking along on their way to the country. They returned and told the others; but they did not believe them either. But later, as the Eleven were at table, he appeared to them and rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart because they had not believed those who saw him after he had been raised. He said to them, "Go into the whole world and proclaim the Gospel to every creature."

One of Pope Francis’ favorite saints is St. Mary Magdalene. In 2016, he raised July 22 from a mere memorial to a formal feast day, which means Christians should venerate her memory with more than just a passing glance. In a homily reflecting on the Magdalene’s role in salvation history, the pope pondered on the tears Mary Magdalene cried at the empty tomb, saying, “Sometimes, in our lives, tears are the lenses we need to see Jesus.” But I believe the pope also wants to fit us with lenses to see Mary Magdalene more clearly. Hence, he raised her memorial to a feast day. With those new lenses we can sift and sort through the facts, the fiction, and the faith surrounding this saintly woman.

First of all, as Sgt. Friday used to say on the television show, “Dragnet,” “Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts.” Mary was from a town located on the southwest coast of the Sea of Galilee named “Magdala.” In Luke 8:2, Jesus casts seven demons out of her and she becomes his faithful follower. Furthermore, Mary forms part of the company of Christ (both men and women) supporting his ministry out of their means. On a personal note, I am deeply indebted to the Mary Magdalene’s in my own life who support my pastoral ministry out of their means, especially bringing me meals. And a final fact, Mary Magdalene is the first to see the Risen Christ and spread the Good News of the resurrection. Hence she is traditionally called “apostola apostolorum” (the Apostle to the Apostles). In the gospel of Mary we see how slow the apostles are to believe Mary, and as a result Jesus comes to rebuke their lack of faith. The apostles lack the Magdalene’s tears which are the lenses to see Jesus. Those are the facts.

Now, the reason the facts get fuzzy is due to the fiction floating around about Mary Magdalene. Two popular depictions are really to blame. First, Mel Gibson’s movie called “The Passion of the Christ” equated Mary Magdalene with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. But there is no scriptural support for that connection whatsoever, and serious scripture scholars scoff at that insinuation. Second, Dan Brown’s novel, The Da Vinci Code suggested that Jesus and Mary Magdalene may secretly have been married and even had children together. Again that is just wild and unwarranted speculation. Unfortunately, we get a lot of our information from popular books and movies – and I am as guilty as the next guy – and we confuse fact with fiction. May I suggest we don Pope Francis’ “lenses of tears” so that we can see clearly who Mary Magdalene was and who she was not.

And finally, a fleeting word about faith as it relates to Mary Magdalene. Most of us learn our faith from our mothers and grandmothers at home, or from nuns and religious sisters in schools. Even now when I go to home to see my parents, my mother is the one who insists we pray the rosary. My father and I reluctantly respond: “O-kay…” because we’d rather just go straight to dinner. And I am supposedly the priest and preacher of the family, but I need my mother to be an “apostola apostolorum” to me. Some people think the Catholic Church is run by a bunch of men. But such people have not walked into a parish office lately where the lion’s share of faith formation is conducted by very competent and very convicted females. Our female church staff are the “apostola apostolorum” in Catholic parishes today, and we are all blessed because of them. In other words, when it comes to faith, teaching, preaching and putting faith into action, many women are modern-day Mary Magdalene’s.

Archbishop Arthur Roche, who wrote the decree formally elevating July 22 as a feast, said: “It is right that the liturgical celebration of this woman has the same level of feast given to the celebration of the apostles in the general Roman calendar; and highlights the special mission of this woman who is an example and model for every woman in the church.” That is, we need Mary Magdalene in the twenty-first century as much as they needed her in the first century.

Every time you hear the name of Mary Magdalene, try to sort through the facts, the fiction and the faith. Maybe it will only be when our eyes fill with tears of love, like hers did so often, that we will have the lenses to see the truth.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

The Good Priest

Raising our standards for holy priests

05/05/2019

John 21:1-19 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs." He then said to Simon Peter a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Tend my sheep." Jesus said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was distressed that Jesus had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, "Follow me."

When I was a young boy and an altar server, I used to think I knew which priests were the good ones. I had one simple criterion to judge all priests. After Communion, I watched closely how the priest purified the chalice, the gold cup. I was convinced that the good priests were the ones who, when they purified their chalice, they would spin it really fast in their hands, like a professional basketball player spins a basketball on his finger tip. On the other hand, all the priests who purified their chalice slowly, methodically and meditatively were clearly the mediocre ones. Those guys were no good. So, when I was ordained, I spun my chalice as fast as I could after Communion. I didn’t want some little altar server judging me and thinking I was some sub-par priest!

This past year that Fr. Stephen has been with us, he has taught me there are actually other criteria for concluding which ones are the good priests. And based on those somewhat more spiritual standards, I would say Fr. Stephen is an extraordinary priest. I’d like to share a few things about him as a priest, as a small tribute but as a big thank you. Don’t tell him what I’m about to say.

First of all, our baby priest has a huge brain; he’s extremely intelligent. I don’t think he has ever made a “B” grade on his report card. (All the other grades were “A’s” by the way.) Do you know what he does while eating breakfast? He watches Jeopardy on his Ipad, and usually answers before the contestants do. But he doesn’t watch just normal Jeopardy; instead, he prefers “Championship Jeopardy,” where the past champions return to wrestle with each other. They don’t know it, but they are also wrestling with Fr. Stephen. And he usually wins. Intelligence is one mark of a good priest. Why? Well, because intelligence helps the priest be a better preacher. Pope Francis said in his apostolic exhortation called The Joy of the Gospel, “A preacher has to contemplate the word, but he also has to contemplate his people” (Evangelii gaudium, 154). Every clergyman must be a contemplative. We have been blessed by Fr. Stephen’s brain as its brilliance shines forth in his Sunday sermons.

A second criterion for a good priest is musical talent. Fr. Stephen sings and plays the piano, but he can even play the organ, the so-called “queen of all instruments.” The Church’s liturgy actually calls the priest-celebrant to chant parts of the Mass, which Fr. Stephen does beautifully. St. Augustine said that “he who sings prays twice.” On the other hand, I rarely chant the Mass parts. Why? Well, because I’m trying to get the people out of here as fast as I can. I’m trying to make the Mass as short as possible, while he’s trying to make the Mass as sacred as possible. You be the judge which is better. By the way, do you know what Fr. Stephen’s favorite genre of music is? I was surprised when he told me it was jazz. He enjoys listening to jazz while he’s cooking.

             And that brings me to the third criterion of a good priest, namely, being self-sufficient or resourceful. Msgr. Gaston Hebert, my first pastor, taught me that every priest must know how to cook his food. I teach my associate pastors that every priest must know how to beg for his food. And do you know what Fr. Stephen’s signature dish is? It’s pizza, made from scratch. He prepares a half a dozen balls of dough from scratch, which he then freezes. When he’s hungry and hankering for a fresh pizza pie, he can prepare it in half an hour. My Christmas present for him last year was a pizza peel. Do you know what on earth that is? I didn’t either until the Brain told me. It’s the large, flat plate with a long handle used to slide a pizza in and out of the oven. It’s great when your kitchen smells like a pizzeria. St. Paul was a model of self-sufficiency when he wrote in 2 Corinthians 11:9: “And when I was with you and in need, I did not burden anyone.” A good priest, therefore, is self-sufficient and not needy.

A fourth criterion for clergy is he must be a people person and a people priest. Fr. Stephen loves to be around the people of God because he loves the people of God. He is literally everywhere: at school events, at bible study classes, playing piano with the Youth Band, giving presentations in Little Rock, being bilingual he walks in and out of two worlds of Anglos and Hispanics. He spends his time hanging out with you all. I spend my time hide out from you all. Being a people priest makes Fr. Stephen really relatable. He enjoys watching old episodes of the television shows, “The Office” and “Parks and Recreation.” He can quote Disney movies and St. Thomas Aquinas. Oh, and he quotes St. Thomas in the original Latin, not in English. And he’s a “gamer,” meaning he loves video games. When his priest-friends visit, they make pizza, go into his room, close the door and conquer the world. A good priest is a people priest.

A fifth and final criterion for a good priest can be found in the gospel of John today, that is, obedience. Jesus prepared St. Peter to be obedient to the point of death when he told him: “Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” That “someone else” who is leading Fr. Stephen where he did not expect to go is the bishop. And just like St. Peter, Fr. Stephen said, “Yes, I will go where you lead me.” Why? Well, because Fr. Stephen did not become a priest to do his own will, but the will of God. A good priest can hear the will of God in the voice of his bishop, and the good priest obeys.

I know everyone was sad to hear that Fr. Stephen was leaving us to go to another parish. But instead of being sad that he’s leaving, we should be glad that we got to know him. Most parishes cannot say that. Personally, I’m kind of happy to see him go. He has raised the bar far too high for being a good priest. Instead of intelligence, musical ability, self-sufficiency, sociability, and obedience, I would rather just practice spinning my chalice faster and avoid the critical eye of the altar servers.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Emotional Safety

Seeing value of head and heart in relationships

04/30/2019

John 3:1-8 There was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. He came to Jesus at night and said to him, "Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one can do these signs that you are doing unless God is with him." Jesus answered and said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless one is born from above, he cannot see the Kingdom of God." Nicodemus said to him, "How can a man once grown old be born again? Surely he cannot reenter his mother's womb and be born again, can he?" Jesus answered, "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless one is born of water and Spirit he cannot enter the Kingdom of God. What is born of flesh is flesh and what is born of spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I told you, 'You must be born from above.' The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit."

Everything I know about “marriage counseling” I have learned from watching movies, especially the movie “Red 2,” starring Bruce Willis, John Malcovich, Helen Mirren and Mary Louise Parker. Underlying all the action, John Malcovich tries to provide “couple therapy” to an ex-CIA agent named Frank, played by Bruce Willis, and his girlfriend, Sarah, played by Mary Louise Parker. Like so many couples struggling to communicate effectively, Frank stays on the level of facts (his head) while Sarah tries to express her feelings (her heart). Malcovich, the self-proclaimed marriage counselor, advises Frank (as people are shooting at them): “Frank, listen I’ve got to tell you something. You have to learn to share your feelings to evolve your relationship even if it seems uncomfortable at first. You have got to make the run to emotional safety.” Frank stares blankly at him and answers, “Uh-huh.” The rest of the movie revolves around Frank trying to save the world, and try to save his relationship. So, if you’re having marriage problems, just watch more movies. They provide the sum and substance of my marriage counseling.

Often men look down on sharing their feelings as a sign of weakness, like the expression: “grown men don’t cry.” On the other hand, women see sharing their feelings as a sign of great strength and safety, transparency and trust. When men and women fail to figure out these two levels of their love – the level of the head and the level of the heart – their marriages suffer.

But being in touch with our feelings is also critical in our relationship with God, that is, feelings can help our faith. Why? Well, because our relationship with God is ultimately a romantic one. Pope Benedict XVI surprisingly said: “The organ for seeing God is the heart. The intellect alone is not enough.” Benedict is widely regarded as one of the brightest theologians and scholars of the twentieth century. Yet he could agree with John Malcovich, that is, if we want our relationship with God to evolve, we must learn to express our feelings and, “make the run to emotional safety.” Being in touch with your feelings will help your faith far more than a towering mountain of facts.

In the gospel of John, Jesus and Nicodemus also seem to be in need of some couple counseling. And that should not shock us because at root their relationship is one of love. But notice how Nicodemus stays on the level of fact when he asks what being “born again” means: “How can a man once grown old be born again? Surely he cannot reenter his mother’s womb and be born again, can he?” And Jesus replies Like John Malcovich and invites him to make the run to emotional safety, saying: “The wine blows where it will, and you hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” Nicodemus must have had the same blank stare on his face as Bruce Willis, and grunted, “Uh-huh.” Jesus was inviting him to think less and to feel more; one must feel the movements of the Holy Spirit that are unpredictable like the human heart. In other words, to grow in our relationship with God we must rely on feelings more than on facts, on our hearts more than our head. Why? Because our relationship with God is ultimately a romantic one.

To be bluntly honest, I really am not very good at couple counseling. But I can offer you a few tips on improving your relationship with God. And I would begin by repeating the advice of John Malcovich: “make the run to emotional safety.” Here are a few ways you can do that. First, don’t be shy about sharing your feelings with God. Tell him you are tired, share with him your sadness, talk to him about your triumphs, don’t hide from him your hopes, never neglect to tell him you’re numb, and describe to him your dreams. When we cannot tell God how we feel, that says something about our faith, namely, it is not at the level of the heart.

Secondly, don’t worry too much about dryness or darkness or distractions in prayer, that is, when you don’t experience warm and fuzzy feelings or cannot focus your mind, your intellect. God is leading you deeper into love with him, but the journey is deeper into the heart. Avoid the temptation to jump back into the head. Acknowledge the feelings of desolation without trying to understand it with the intellect, like Nicodemus and Frank. You might feel like just saying, “Uh-huh.”

And finally, remember faith is ultimately a romantic love story, not a scientific research project. The saints understand with their hearts, while scholars grasp at God with their heads. Saints make far greater progress than scholars. Again, Benedict XVI asserted the best interpreters of the scriptures are the saints, even more than scripture scholars.  The Spirit that inspired the sacred text is the same Spirit who inspires their lives, and he blows where he wills.

Listen to the words of John Malcovich again and try to apply them to your romantic relationship with God: “Listen, I’ve got to tell you something. You have to learn to share your feelings to evolve your relationship, even if it seems uncomfortable at first. You have to make the run to emotional safety.”

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Touch or Die

Studying Thomas’ touch in order to reach Jesus

04/28/2019

John 20:19-31 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you." When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see the mark of the nails in his handsand put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side,  I will not believe." Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe." Thomas answered and said to him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed."

We all know we have five senses – sight and smell, taste and touch, and hearing – and their proper functioning contributes to our health and happiness. But did you know that the sense of touch, unlike the other four senses, is necessary for survival? In other words, we would literally die if we were touch deprived or we could die from so-called “skin hunger.” Babies that go for prolonged periods without any physical contact – even if they receive proper food, clothing and shelter – will simply die because they are touch deprived. That is a simple scientific fact about the sense of touch.

When I go home to visit my parents, I sometimes find my father lying in bed taking a nap. I love to crawl into bed next to him and snuggle. I am not sure he loves it, but I sure do. I dread the day I will not be able to touch him and snuggle. Patients in hospitals recover faster when a doctor warmly touches them during a visit, rather than when he or she stands coldly aloof. A February 22, 2010 New York Times article argued that sports teams that are “touchier” tend to perform better. The article stated: “The most touch bonded teams were the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers, currently two of the league’s top teams; at the bottom were the mediocre Sacramento Kings and Charlotte Bobcats.” Too bad for all you Kings and Bobcats fans. In other words, physical touch not only enhances human life; it is necessary for the very existence of human life.

In the gospel today we hear about doubting Thomas the apostle and his need to touch Jesus. When Jesus appears first to the apostles, Thomas is absent. Maybe he had gone to a Celtics-Lakers game because they are more touchy teams. Then Jesus appears again and tells Thomas: “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving but believe.” We sometimes conclude there must have been something wrong with Thomas that he needed to touch our Lord. On the contrary, I believe there was something very right, namely, Thomas was being very human and even very holy. How so? Just like a baby would die if he were touch deprived, so Thomas feels he would die spiritually if he could not touch our Lord. And what is the result and consequence of Thomas reaching out and lovingly touching our Lord? Thomas’s doubts disappear and, filled with faith, he fearlessly travels to India, where he converts my ancestors to Christianity.

Many years ago I asked my dad how long our family had been Catholic. He answered that we have been Catholic for 2,000 years thanks to St. Thomas. I am convinced that loving touch by Thomas in the upper room 2,000 years ago was the first domino in a long line of dominoes that fell one by one, and that eventually led me here to be the pastor of Winslow, and stand before you today. Physical touch, therefore, not only enhances human life, it is necessary for the existence of human life, both physically and spiritually speaking. Without physical touch, we would die.

I believe the whole Catholic sacramental system is divinely designed to respond to the human need for physical contact and the sense of touch. No doubt making a firm act of faith is fundamental whenever we receive a sacrament. Faith disposes us to more grace like dilated eyes can receive more light. Nevertheless, a critical component of each sacrament is the “epiclesis,” or the laying on of hand, when the Holy Spirit descends on the elements or matter of the sacraments. Have you noticed how at one point in the process of every sacrament, the priest or deacon extends his hands? Imagine his hand like that hand of St. Thomas reaching out to touch the pierced side of Jesus. That touch releases torrents of grace. That touch produces healing and holiness in a way far greater than when I snuggle next to my dad in bed, or when the Lakers hug Labron James after a victory. Physical touch not only enhances human life, it is necessary for the existence of human life, in this world and in the next.

By the way, do you know what is funny about our modern smart phones? They are highly sensitive to human touch. That’s why my dad hates them, because he touches them like he learned to bang on a manual typewriter. That’s not how they work. But as we become more absorbed into our phones and communicate on social media platforms, we lose opportunities to communicate being physically present, like Jesus was present to Thomas and Jesus is present to us in the matter of the sacraments. Phones are becoming more touch sensitive, while human beings are become more touch deprived. And that, too, will have consequences both for enhancing human life, and for the existence of human life.

Praised be Jesus Christ!