Portia’s Picture

Choosing lead and myrrh to love others more than ourselves

01/07/2018

Matthew 2:1-12 When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, in the days of King Herod, behold, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, "Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage." And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them,  until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed for their country by another way.

           Arguably the most spell-binding scene in Shakespeare’s play called “The Merchant of Venice” is the test of true love. A ravishingly beautiful woman named Portia wants to be married, but her late father has devised a devious test to see which suitor will be the best for his daughter. All you dads out there remember this when some dude comes to marry your darling daughter. Test those boys. Here’s how Portia’s papa did it. Each suitor must examine three “caskets” or boxes with an inscription, but only one contains the picture of Portia, and the suitor who selects that casket wins the beautiful bride. The first casket is made of gold, the second of silver, and the third of plain lead. Which casket would you have chosen?

          The first suitor to make the attempt is the haughty Prince of Morocco. He immediately rejects the leaden casket as below his princely dignity and chooses instead the gold casket, on which he finds the inscription, “Who chooseth me shall gain what many men desire.” But when he opens it, he’s startled to see a skull with a scroll rolled up inside, not Portia’s picture. The scroll reads in part: “All that glisters is not gold…Gilded tombs do worms enfold.” Ouch. The second suitor is the proud Prince of Arragon, who also turns up his nose at the leaden casket, but is intrigued by the silver one. The silver inscription reads: “Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves,” and clearly the Prince of Arragon believed he deserved Portia!  But upon opening the casket he’s shocked to see the image of a blinking idiot, a fool, not Portia’s picture. The Prince left feeling foolish indeed.

          Finally, Bassanio arrives – one of the main characters – but because he’s humble, he’s not easily tempted by the silver or gold caskets. Instead he reads the inscription on the leaden casket: “Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath,” that is, he must sacrifice everything. He chooses the leaden box because he is willing to hazard everything for Portia; he loves her more than he loves himself. You can guess what he found inside the lead casket. In other words, Portia’s father devised a test whereby his daughter would marry someone ready to sacrifice everything for her. Isn’t that what every father hopes for his future son-in-law?

             In the gospel today, we see more royal persons and more caskets with mysterious gifts inside, but both are stories of tests of love. Three Magi or kings arrive in Bethlehem and present gifts to the Baby Jesus. The first gift is gold, which means the new-born Child will be a king. Gold symbolizes royal authority and power. The second gift is a casket of frankincense, symbolizing a priestly identity and purpose. Priests offer incense at Mass. But strangely, the third gift is myrrh, an oil used to anoint and preserve dead bodies. The first two kings must have looked at the third and wondered: “Myrrh? Really? That’s the best you have??” But the first two kings would have missed the meaning of the myrrh, just like the first two princes missed the lesson of the lead. More than kingly power and even more than priestly prerogatives, Jesus came to pass the test of true love by suffering and dying on the Cross, and having his body anointed with myrrh. In other words, the myrrh meant the same thing as the lead: “Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.” The myrrh means loving others more than yourself.

             Folks, passing the test of true love doesn’t just happen in stories in Shakespeare and in Scripture; it happens every day. Our love is always being tested by the choice to do something easy (gold and silver) or to do something hard (lead and myrrh)? I often counsel couples who are dating or engaged why they shouldn’t have premarital sex. I ask them: which is easier: to engage in sex or to refrain from sex – gosh, even I know the answer to that question! It’s when you choose the lead and myrrh – it’s when you do something difficult – that you show true love. This is why Catholics go to confession to a priest. Why? Well, because telling another human being our faults and failings is a heck of a lot harder than apologizing to God in our hearts. Don’t get me wrong: we do have to make a sincere act of contrition with our whole hearts to God. But which is harder: talking to God or talking to a priest, like Fr. John about our sins? Confession to a priest is lead and myrrh for Catholics, the test of true love for Jesus.

             What about our financial contributions to church and charity? My brother had a habit whenever he went to Mass and it came time for the collection. He would open his wallet and find the largest bill he had a drop that in the basket. Maybe that’s why he only carried ones and fives! But it was nevertheless a test of love, and the only way to pass it is by choosing the lead and the myrrh. Many people are dieting these days to lose some weight. They are trying to eat fruits and vegetables instead of sweets and soft drinks. And that’s a good thing. But may I suggest that you forget about shedding the pounds, and instead eat as a test of love for the body God has given you, the temple of the Holy Spirit. Eating well can also be a test of love, “Who chooseth me must hazard his cheesecake and chocolate pie.” Life constantly presents us with tests of true love: we choose either the gold and silver or the lead and myrrh.

              When Bassanio opens the third casket of lead, he finds Portia’s picture inside. But also finds a poem, which reads: “You that choose not by the view, Chance as fair and choose as true. Since this fortune falls to you, Be content and seek no new. If you be well pleased with this, And hold your fortune for your bliss, Turn you where your lady is, And claim her with a loving kiss.” When we choose the lead and the myrrh, we too can hope to end our days with a loving kiss from God.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Snorkeling in Somalia

Avoiding judgment of people and places

01/06/2018

John 1:43-51 Jesus decided to go to Galilee, and he found Philip. And Jesus said to him, "Follow me." Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the town of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth." But Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see." Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, "Here is a true child of Israel. There is no duplicity in him." Nathanael said to him, "How do you know me?" Jesus answered and said to him, "Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree." Nathanael answered him, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel." Jesus answered and said to him, "Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this." And he said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."

            Boys and girls, welcome back from your Christmas vacations! Did anyone go anywhere exciting for your vacation? I know some students who went to Colorado because you sent me pictures of you skiing! Others went to California and still others went to Florida or to New York! My favorite kind of vacation is a stay-cation, especially when everyone else leaves! But did anyone go out of the country on vacation, maybe to Mexico, or to Peru, or Argentina or maybe even to Europe and Rome, “Catholic Headquarters”? These are all great places to visit and see.

           But did you ever think about taking a vacation to North Korea and spending a few weeks there? No way! Or maybe spend a week sight-seeing in Iraq or Afghanistan? That would be crazy! Have you ever wanted to go fishing or snorkeling off the coast of Somalia? That would be very dangerous because there are real pirates who could rob you. Now, I don’t really recommend you go on vacation to these places, but do you know there are still good and holy people who live in North Korea and in Iraq and in Afghanistan and in Somalia? Sometimes, when we hear people talking very poorly about a place, saying it’s very dangerous or poor or backwards, we think “Nothing good and no one good can come from that place,” but there are still good and holy people in all places on our planet.

              In the gospel today, Nathaniel has a very poor opinion of the town of Nazareth. Do you know who grew up and lived for thirty years in Nazareth? Jesus did! But when Philip tells Nathaniel about Jesus from Nazareth, how does Nathaniel react? He scoffs: “Can anything good come from Nazareth??” It’s almost like he’s saying, “Can anything good come from North Korea??” Nazareth had a bad reputation for being a backward, poor and dangerous place, like some of the other places I mentioned earlier. But that’s precisely where the Son of God grew up. We must always remember that there are good and holy people everywhere in the world, even in dangerous places, so be careful saying, “Can anything good come from there!?”

            Boys and girls, here the funny thing: did you know that people who don’t live in Fort Smith sometimes have a poor opinion about our fair city?  I know that’s hard to believe but some people think we are poor and backward and dangerous. They ask like Nathaniel, “Can anything good come from Fort Smith??” But we know better, don’t we? We know that there are lots of good and holy people who live here, and we try to be some of them! We live in the state of Arkansas, but there are some people who don’t live here, who think, “Can anything good come from Arkansas??” But we know there are good and holy people in the Natural State, too.

            Boys and girls, we live in a wonderful world, on a planet with spectacular places. No place on this planet is perfect, but there is also no place on this plane that doesn’t have good and holy people living there, even in Fort Smith!

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Wild Hut

Learning how our property reflects our personality

01/04/2018

John 1:35-42 John was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he said, "Behold, the Lamb of God." The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, "What are you looking for?" They said to him, "Rabbi" (which translated means Teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come, and you will see." So they went and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day. It was about four in the afternoon. Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, was one of the two who heard John and followed Jesus. He first found his own brother Simon and told him, "We have found the Messiah," which is translated Christ. Then he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, "You are Simon the son of John; you will be called Cephas," which is translated Peter.

            I love to go to people’s home for supper, as you know, and bless their homes after supper. One reason that’s such a joy for me is I get to see where people live but also how people live. And when I bless their home, I bless every room in their home, which usually terrifies the parents (because they’ve shoved everything into closets), but the children love it. In fact, sometimes the children will take me by the hand and literally drag me to their room to show me all their “stuff.” Every detail in their room means something: from their t-ball trophies, to their American doll collection, to their Star Wars figurines. I realize, however, they are not just showing me their stuff, but they are also revealing to me their heart, who they are. Your property reflects your personality.

            I’ll never forget that delightful description of Phoebe Penchant in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic novel, The House of the Seven Gables, showing how Phoebe’s personality came out in her property. Hawthorne wrote: “Little Phoebe was one of those persons who possess, as their exclusive patrimony, the gift of practical arrangement. It’s a kind of natural magic that enables these favored ones to bring out the hidden capabilities of things around them; and particularly to give a look of comfort and habitableness to any place which, for however brief a period, may happen to be their home.” Hawthorne continues more concretely: “A wild hut of underbrush, tossed together by wayfarers through the primitive forest, would acquire the home aspect by one night’s lodging of such a woman, and would retain it long after her quiet figure had disappeared into the surrounding shade” (The House of the Seven Gables, chapter 5). I’m sorry that quotation is so long, but there you see not only Phoebe’s natural magic, but also Hawthorne’s literary magic. Our property always reflects our personality, one way or another.

             In the gospel today, Jesus and his first followers have a seemingly innocuous little exchange that seems like just casual conversation, but it isn’t at all. Two disciples start following Jesus and the Lord asks them, “What are you looking for?” They rather blandly reply: “Rabbi, where are you staying?” But that answer was anything but bland or blah; rather they were inquiring like me: “May I come to your home for supper, so we can really get to know each other?” Why? Well, because the disciples knew that a person’s property reflects their personality, and Jesus was no exception, even though he had very little personal property, “the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Luke 9:58). Jesus may well have enjoyed as Hawthorne said, “a wild hut of underbrush, tossed together by wayfarers through the primitive forest.” Nevertheless, even that “wild hut” would have borne the stamp of Jesus’ personality: his poverty, his humility, his dedication to the Father’s will.

               My friends, when you go home today, take a moment to study your own home. Look at everything as if someone were coming to your home for the first time, like Fr. John! What would your property say about your personality? Do you possess that natural magic of Phoebe, and give everything “a look of comfort and habitableness”? Are you a hoarder, which is becoming very fashionable these days, with their own television show? Do you live in a “wild hut”? Would you be embarrassed to have someone in your home, or would you happily drag them by the hand to every room? Above all, would your home say anything about your faith? I don’t mean your home has to be decorated like the Sistine Chapel, but like Jesus, does your property reflect a personality that is poor, humble and dedicated to the Father’s will?

               It matters little if you live in a house of seven gables, or in a wild hut. But it is inescapable that your property will reflect your personality..

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Stupid Smart

Admitting our ignorance so we can be truly wise

01/03/2018

John 1:29-34 John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. He is the one of whom I said, 'A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.' I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel." John testified further, saying, "I saw the Spirit come down like a dove from the sky and remain upon him. I did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain, he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God."

            Boys and girls, I am convinced that one of the smartest things you can ever say is, “I don’t know.” That may sound like an oxymoron – a contradiction in terms, like saying, “That guy is stupid smart!” – but think about it. The person who thinks he or she knows everything is not open to learning more (he knows it all); whereas, the person who thinks he or she knows nothing is ready to learn everything.

           Two of the smartest people who ever lived were ready to say, “I do not know,” namely, Socrates and Albert Einstein. And, by the way, they were both “stupid smart.” Socrates never really wrote anything himself but is rather the main character in Plato’s famous dialogues, and in that sense, he is like Jesus who never wrote anything but was the main character in the four gospels. Socrates would engage people in conversation, and these people thought they were really wise. But through asking questions, Socrates would help them realize they didn’t know very much. After one such conversation, Socrates concludes: “I seem, then, in just this little thing to be wiser than this man at any rate, that what I do not know I do not think I know either” (Plato, Apologia, 21d).  In other words, Socrates was willing to admit, “I do not know.”

            The same with Albert Einstein, the brilliant 20th century physicist, who developed the general and special theories of relativity. In 1931 the Nazis waged a campaign against all Jewish scientists in Germany, and wrote a book targeting Einstein (who you know was Jewish) called, 100 Authors Against Einstein. What was Einstein’s response? He simply said, “Why one hundred? If I were wrong, one would have been enough” (quoted in Stephen Hawking, The Universe in a Nutshell, 26) Remember that reply if someone writes a book like that against you. That was also a very humble reply because he was ready to admit he was wrong, if someone could give the reasons why, even if one person could show him his error. He was ready to concede, “I do not know,” and, by the way, that’s why he came close to discovering the “theory of everything,” which scientists called the “TOE” – the theory of everything.

             In the gospel today, St. John the Baptist also humbly confesses his ignorance, that he didn’t know something, or rather someone. John beholds Jesus and exclaims: “Behold the Lamb of God.” But then he surprisingly adds, “I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel.” That’s quite a self-indictment, isn’t it? Why? Well, because John’s whole life was like a huge arrow pointing to Jesus, and at the very culmination of his life, he almost misses the mark, saying, “I did not know him.” This wasn’t some kind of false humility, but true questioning and doubting, but also a moment of genuine faith and belief in Jesus. In other words, not only does admitting your ignorance make your wiser (like Socrates and Einstein), but ignorance can also help you grow in faith, and become a true believer. That’s how you become really stupid smart.

              As you begin this new semester, don’t be afraid to admit, “I don’t know.” Ask questions in class. Don’t be worried about raising your hand. Find your voice and hear what you sound like. Each of you has a great voice given to you by God, and this world needs to hear it (just don’t use your voice to talk during Mass!).

            One Trinity student sent me a long list of questions recently about religion. She was finding her voice, and she was willing to admit she did not know. But I believe that’s exactly how she was becoming wiser and more faith-filled. See if you know the answers to these questions: “Were there really only 3 kings?” “Does God have a last name?” “If God knows what we want, why doesn’t he give it to us right away?”  “If he sees too much suffering, why doesn’t he take us now?” “How did God make the angels?” “What does God want from us?” “How did Satan become so evil?” “How would life be if death had never existed?” “Why does God not reveal himself?” And that was just half of her questions! I felt like one of the people Socrates has a conversation with, whom he peppers with questions, and by the end of it they feel like saying, “All I know is that I don’t know!!!” But right there, in that humble, holy moment of ignorance lies hidden also the beginning not only of wisdom but also of faith.  Those questions show me that that young Trinity student was becoming very wise and faith-filled.

              One of the smartest things you can ever say in life is “I do not know.” Why? Well, because in that moment you are ready to learn everything, you’re becoming stupid smart.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

You Name the Babies

Inviting God to be a vital part of our family life

01/01/2018

Luke 2:16-21 The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them. When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

          One key to a successful marriage is when the husband and wife find their proper roles and responsibilities. Being either male or female means each will innately possess some natural skills but also some noticeable shortcomings. The guy will be good at some things, while the gal will be great at other things in taking care of their family, their home and their future.

             I recently heard a humorous country song by Blake Shelton describing this domestic division of labor, called “I’ll Name the Dogs.” Part of the lyrics are: “You find the spot and I’ll find the money / You be the pretty and I’ll be the funny / You plant the flowers and I’ll plant the kisses / Baby, let’s get right down to business.” Then the refrain goes: “I’ll hang the pictures, you hang the stars / You pick the paint, I’ll pick a guitar / Sing you a song out there with the crickets and the frogs / You name the babies and I’ll name the dogs.” I love that line: “You name the babies and I’ll name the dogs” because sometimes, the dogs are as important at the babies!  In other words, when you know who’s going to take care of what, married life goes a lot smoother and easier for everybody, even the dogs.

          The gospel of Luke records how the newly married couple of Mary and Joseph also experienced the domestic division of labor for the smooth operation of their Holy Family, but with one notable exception: neither of them got to name the Baby. We read: “When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.” I’m not sure if St. Joseph still got to name the dogs, but neither Mary nor Joseph got to name the Baby; that role was fulfilled by the angel. The Holy Family was keenly aware that not all domestic duties can be divided between the husband and the wife, even if they’re as holy as Mary and Joseph! Why? Well, because some tasks require divine intervention. Mary and Joseph knew that for their marriage to go smoothly and be a success, God would also need to have a place at the family table, and so they were obedient to the angel’s command, and named Jesus accordingly. Everyone needs to know their respective role and responsibilities for a successful marriage and family.

          My friends, as we begin a new calendar year, are you clear about your place in your family: whether your job is to “pick the paint” or to “pick a guitar”? And more importantly, have you included God in the domestic division of labor of your household? Does God have a significant role in how you conduct your family business, or is God just an afterthought? With all due respect to Blake Shelton, Catholic parents used to let God sort of name the babies. How’s that? Well, depending on the day the baby was born, he or she would be named for the saint of the day. For instance, a baby born today, would have been named “Mary” or “Joseph.” Do you involve God in making financial decisions for your family, like how much to tithe or give to charity, or is it simply a calculation of how much of a tax deduction you need this year? Maybe Uncle Sam is more involved in your finances than God is.  Does God get to go on your family vacations, meaning do you make an effort to go to Mass even on vacation? Do you pray for divine guidance before making a choice of a college, or a career, or evening cooking, like not eating meat on Fridays of Lent?

          In other words, when you sit down at the kitchen table and divvy out the duties for domestic happiness and good order, be sure to leave a place at the table for God. You can still name all the dogs, but sometimes, God wants to name the babies.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Parent Trap

Embracing both the joys and the sorrows of Christian parenting

12/31/2017

Luke 2:22-40 When the days were completed for their purification according to the law of Moses, They took him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord, Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, awaiting the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death  before he had seen the Christ of the Lord. He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, He took him into his arms and blessed God, saying: "Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel." The child's father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, "Behold, this child is destined  for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted —and you yourself a sword will pierce— so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed."

            One of the greatest joys of Christianity is being a parent, and one of the greatest agonies of Christianity is being a parent! That is, having children is so joyful we don’t want to live without them, but it can be so challenging that sometimes, we can’t live with them. It’s a sort of Christian “parent trap.” Here are a couple of humorous examples.

  

             A young man never liked to do his homework and always came up with excuses to shirk his work. His father often scolded him for his laziness. One day, the young man said, “If I had a computer, it would be so much easier.” His father replied: “You don’t need a computer, son. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he studied by candlelight in a log cabin.” But the teenager fired back: “And when he was your age, dad, he was president of the United States.” I’m so glad I don’t have a smart-alek teenage son. The second example describes how parenting evolves with each baby. With the first baby, you spend some time every day just gazing at the baby’s antics. With the second baby, you spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby. With the third baby, you spend a little bit of every day trying to hide from the children. Would anyone like to become a priest or nun now?? Few things in life are as joyful as parenthood, and few things are as agonizing as parenthood.

               In the gospel today, Simeon predicts that Mary and Joseph will also suffer these parental peaks and valleys in their family life with Jesus. On the one hand, Simeon says Jesus will be a “light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of [the] people Israel.” Can’t you just imagine St. Joseph puffing out his chest with pride, thinking, “That’s my boy!” even though he was Jesus’ foster father. But Simeon goes on to prophesy that parenting would also come at a price, saying to Mary: “And you yourself a sword will pierce – so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Scripture scholars and saints have interpreted that prophesy to mean that Mary would suffer as only a mother could standing silently at the foot of the Cross, helplessly watching her son suffer and die. This is why traditional images of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are often depicted with a sword going through it referring to Simeon’s prophesy in Luke 2:35. In other words, even though Mary and Joseph were parents of the perfect Son, they would not escape the “parent trap,” where both great joys and great agonies are part and parcel of Christian parenting.

                Folks, I’m going to go out on a limb here and offer you a little parenting advice. I realize this sounds a little presumptuous because I’m not literally a parent, but a lot more people call me “Father” than any of you. Let me offer you five pieces of friendly advice as your “spiritual father.”

First pray for your children. This is the easiest of the five parenting tools, but also the most easily ignored and overlooked. Do you actually pray for them literally and daily? Pray for them at Mass, pray the rosary for them (and with them), do a novena for them. One friend of mine prays not only for her children but also for their future spouses because while she may not know who they are, God does. And she wants them to be the best person possible before their meet her kids, so she prays for them. My family gathered and prayed one Our Father, and three Hail Mary’s (one for each child) before we left for school each morning. Pray for your children.

   

                Second, the best gift you can give your child as a father is to love their mother, and the best gift you can give your children as a mother is to love their father. I say this with love and compassion to all divorced and separated parents. But more than the latest video game, or the most fashionable clothes, or a vacation to Disney World, what your children want from you is that you love each other as their mom and dad. Your children don’t mind if you schedule a “date night,” but just don’t be gone for a week!

              Third, lead by example. Don’t ever catch yourself repeating the false aphorism, “Do as I say, not as I do!” Why? Well, because children have an uncanny ability to sniff out a phony, a hypocrite. Don’t just tell them to take out the trash, but do it also yourself. Don’t just make them unload the dishwasher, do it yourself sometimes. Don’t tell them to mow the lawn, but do it yourself occasionally. Don’t just tell them to go to Mass, but go faithfully yourself. If you practice what you preach, not only will you be proud of your children, but your children will be proud of you.

              Fourth, don’t always make life easier for your children, sometimes let life be hard. Last August at Catholic High School for Boys in Little Rock, Steve Straessle, the principal, posted a sign in the school lobby. It had a red stop sign at the top and below it read: “If you are dropping off your son’s forgotten lunch, books, homework, equipment, etc., please TURN AROUND and exit the building. Your son will learn to problem-solve in your absence” (emphasis in original). That sign went viral on social media, being shared over 110,000 times.  Don’t make life easier for your kids. What doesn’t kill your children will only make them stronger, just like it did for you.

                And fifth, prepare yourself for the day that you must let your children go. God does not give you children as a permanent possession, but rather as a loan, and someday you must give them back to him. Nothing causes as much tension and turmoil in family life than when parents get overly involved in their children’s family life. As a parent, you too, like Mary, may stand silently at the foot of their cross and feel like a sword has pierced your heart as your children follow a path you would not recommend. Has that happened to you yet? Perhaps the hardest part of parenting is letting your children go and allowing them to be the author the chapters of their own life story.

                 In 2006, Rodney Atkins released a country music song called “Watching You,” with his own advice about parenting. The refrain went like this: “I’ve been watching you, dad, ain’t that cool? / I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you / And eat all my food, and grow as tall as you are. / We got cowboy boots and camo pants / Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad? / I wanna do everything you do / So I’ve been watching you.” By the way, that adoring little buckaroo will one day grow up to be a smart-alek teenager.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

You Stupid Darkness

Lighting the candle of Christ instead of cursing the darkness

12/25/2017

Luke 2:1-14 And Joseph too went up from Galilee from the town of Nazareth to Judea, to the city of David that is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. While they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Now there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were struck with great fear. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy  that will be for all the people. For today in the city of David a savior has been born for you who is Christ and Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger."

              In 1960 John F. Kennedy gave a speech accepting the nomination of the Democratic Party to run for president of the United States. In that speech he used a wonderful phrase that maybe you’ve heard before. He said: “We are not here to curse the darkness but to light the candle that can guide us through that darkness to a safe and sane future.” As you know, Kennedy was elected later that year and became the 35th president of the United States in 1961.

                Now, not everyone agrees with that proverb to light a candle instead of curse the darkness. In one of the Charlie Brown comic strips, Charlie Brown runs into Linus who is carrying a candle at night. Charlie Brown asks him, “What’s this?” Linus answers: “I have heard that it is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.” Charlie Brown replies, “That’s true, although there will always be those who will disagree with you.” In the last frame we see Lucy yelling at the night sky: “You stupid darkness!”

               Now, when God is the one who faces the darkness, which of those two do you think he does? Well, the Scriptures record two dramatic instances when God did face darkness and what he did about it, at the moment of the “old creation” and the moment of the “new creation.” The first instance occurred in Genesis chapter one. We read in verse two: “The earth was without form or shape, with darkness over the abyss and a mighty wind sweeping over the waters.” This condition of dark, formless abyss in Hebrew is called the “tohu wa-bohu.” What does God do when confronted by the tohu wa-bohu”? He does not say “You stupid darkness!” No. Rather, in verse three we read: “Then God said, Let there be light, and there was light.” That is, like President Kennedy said in his speech, God prefers to light a candle rather than curse the darkness.

               The second instance occurred in the gospel narrative we just heard describing the first Christmas, the moment of the “new creation.” Do you remember when the Baby Jesus was born? It was at night, and that wasn’t by accident. St. Luke records: “Now, there were shepherds in that region living in the fields and keeping the night watch over their flock. The angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them” (emphasis mine). In other words, Jesus is born at night because he is the Light that has come to dispel the darkness just like his Father did at the beginning of the old creation. Again, notice that God does not yell, “You stupid darkness!’ at the tohu wa-bohu. He lights a candle, the light of Christ. This is why Catholics traditionally attend midnight Mass – and usually sleep through it! – because it highlights (pun intended) how God deals with the darkness: not with a curse, but with a candle.

                By the way, have you noticed how God does this every year? Think about it. When do we celebrate Christmas every year? Obviously, on December 25. And when is the daylight shortest – the shortest day – during the whole year (at least in the Northern Hemisphere)? It is December 21, called the “Winter Solstice.” In other words, every year we taste a little of that primordial tohu wa-bohu, that “formless darkness” that covered the earth in the beginning. And once again, God says dramatically “Let there be light!” He sends his Son, Jesus as a candle lit in the darkness, and every day after December 25, the light gradually increases. In other words, every year, nature itself reminds us how God scattered the darkness both in the “old creation” and in the “new creation,” by lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness.

              My friends, sooner or later we all face our own tohu wa-bohu, that is, we confront moments of darkness, despair, discouragement and doubt. We may be tempted like Lucy to yell, “You stupid darkness!” and I admit, it’ll probably feel pretty good when you do. But we should also remember what God did in those two epic moments when he faced the darkness: he lit a candle; he sent the light of Christ to dispel the darkness. Always ask yourself: what can I do to bring the light of Christ into this dark situation? Perhaps you can say a prayer, maybe you can give someone a hug, utter a word of encouragement or hope, share how you’ve faced your own struggles in the past, just let people know they are not alone, remember how hardship contributes to holiness, etc. Now, the one thing you are not allowed to do is to say, “Go talk to Fr. John, he’ll take care of your spiritual darkness!” No, this is your job as a child of the light. As our Evangelical friends are fond of repeating: “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.” The extremity of our darkness is God’s opportunity to light a candle.

             I hope this doesn’t sound too audacious to say, but I am convinced that because you are a child of God, you too can say with confidence and conviction, “Let there be light!” with your words and your actions and your attitude and thereby scatter the tohu wa-bohu that surrounds you and that envelops those you love. You will be practicing the family pattern of behavior – like Father, like Son. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Praised be Jesus Christ!