Greetings and Goodbyes

Seeing how we are always held in the Lord’s hands

11/11/2023

Rom 16:3-9, 16, 22-27 Brothers and sisters: Greet Prisca and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I am grateful but also all the churches of the entiles; greet also the Church at their house. Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the firstfruits in Asia for Christ. All the churches of Christ greet you. I, Tertius, the writer of this letter, greet you in the Lord. Gaius, who is host to me and to the whole Church, greets you. Erastus, the city treasurer, and our brother Quartus greet you. Now to him who can strengthen you, according to my Gospel and the proclamation of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret for long ages but now manifested through the prophetic writings and, according to the command of the eternal God, made known to all nations to bring about the obedience of faith, to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ be glory forever and ever. Amen.

One of the hardest things for me to do is to say goodbye gracefully. Whenever I have to leave someone’s company after a meeting, a meal, or a movie, I feel very awkward and never know if I should give them a handshake or a hug. Or, if I should say something funny or say, “God bless you.” Do you ever feel that way, or is this just my personal quirk?

My mom and dad both have different ways of saying goodbye. I go to visit them on most Fridays and when I am about to leave we say a little prayer together and I give them a blessing. Mom walks me to the door, but dad stays on the recliner. It’s gotten harder for him to get up and walk around and he usually needs a cane to keep his balance.

But ever since I got my dog Apollo, after the prayer and blessing, dad doesn’t just get off the recliner and walk me and Apollo to the door. He comes all the way to the car, and waves and blows kisses. And he is not on my side of the car but Apollo’s side saying goodbye to him. It’s a miracle! So, maybe we are all trying to figure out the best way to say goodbye.

One place we can learn the best way to say goodbye is in the Scriptures (where we learn everything else). At the end of St. Paul’s letters, like the conclusion of Romans we heard this morning, we hear an eloquent example of how to depart gracefully. First, Paul mentions other people he wants to greet through the readers of his letter, like we say, “Tell your mom I said hi.” And secondly, Paul always includes Jesus and a benediction, a blessing. So, we read: “Now, to him who can strengthen you…the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, be glory forever and ever. Amen.”

By the way, we have adapted some of St. Paul’s concluding benedictions as the opening greetings for the Mass. Have you noticed this? My favorite greeting which was originally a goodbye is the one which invokes the Holy Trinity. I love to greet you at Mass repeating Paul’s goodbye in 2 Co 13:13, where he says: “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

In a sense, what the Church has done is transform a goodbye into a greeting, and made those salutations two sides of the same Christian coin, our Christian life. In other words, all our comings and goings, our greetings and goodbyes, should be done “in the Lord,” who holds all of us in his hands, where we are always together.

My friends, there is one goodbye that I believe we will all find awkward, and not just me. And that is when we say goodbye for the last time when a loved one dies. Like I feel departing after a meal or a meeting or movie, we all just stand by their bedside, and don’t know what to say or do because grief and pain paralyze us. Sometimes the dying person is waiting for the family to give them permission to go home to heaven. They are waiting for us to say goodbye, but we don’t want to, or we don’t know how.

This final awkward adios might be a good occasion to remember how the Church has changed goodbye (like at the end of St. Paul’s letters) into greetings (like at the beginning of Mass). In other words, all goodbyes and greetings are simply two sides of the same Christian coin called faith in Jesus.

We are always carried in the Lord’s loving hands, whether we can see each other or not, whether I am in Fort Smith, and my nephew Isaac serving in the Army is in Poland, whether my brother Paul is in Fayetteville and his deceased son, Noah, is in heaven. When we are close to Christ, we are close to each other.

We have had a lot of funerals lately. Yesterday we had the funeral for Iker Javier Garcia, a two year-old boy. Next Tuesday we will gather for the funeral of Jeff Herrell. The Catholic funeral rites are another eloquent example of how goodbyes are changed by Jesus’ resurrection into greetings. Al the end of the funeral, the priest says these comforting words:

“Before we go our separate ways, let us take leave of our brother/sister. May our farewell express our affection for him/her, may it ease our sadness and strengthen our hope. One day we shall joyfully greet him/her again when the love of Christ, which conquers all things, destroys even death itself.” And on that great day of resurrection, I will no longer experiences any more awkward goodbyes.

Praised be Jesus Christ!