At the Fountainhead

Learning to love Jesus first and foremost

05/26/2023

Jn 21:15-19 After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them, he said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?" Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs." He then said to Simon Peter a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Simon Peter answered him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep." He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep. Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when he had said this, he said to him, "Follow me.”

Yesterday, May 25, I celebrated my 27th ordination anniversary as a priest. And I want to tell you why I decided to become a priest. When I was in 8th grade there was this beautiful little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl who I had a huge crush on. Finally, one day I mustered enough courage to ask her out on a date, but she said she wasn’t interested.

So, I figured what else can I do, I might as well become a priest! No, just kidding! That is not why I decided to become a priest, but that is what a lot of people think, right? Priests are basically men who lost out on love. No pretty girl would marry them, so they had no choice but to become priests.

But that is an absolute distortion of the truth about priests. We are not men who lost at love, but rather guys who have experienced the greatest romance possible, namely, falling in love with Jesus. There is a beautiful quotation by St. Augustine floating around on the internet that says: “To fall in love with God is the greatest romance; to seek him is the greatest adventure; and to find him is the greatest human achievement.”

I am not really sure St. Augustine actually said that, but if it’s on the internet it must be true, right?? Regardless of who said it, the sentiment it conveys is still true. Real romance is the love of God, where we sort of cut out the middle man – or in the case of priests, the middle woman – who filters God’s love to us, and go straight to the source of Love.

Listen to this lengthy quotation by C. S. Lewis, who compared God’s love to all other forms of love and pleasures. He wrote: “The faint, far off results of those energies which God’s creative rapture implanted in matter when he made the worlds are what we now call physical pleasures; and even thus filtered they are too much for our present management.”

Lewis goes on and gets to his main point: “What would it be to taste at the fountainhead that stream of which even these lower reaches prove so intoxicating?” If I can give you a little homework for the summer, read C. S. Lewis essay called “The Weight of Glory.” But in any case, Lewis touches on the real reason I became a priest, namely, having fallen in love with Jesus. In other words, priests are not men who have lost at love; they have discovered love “at the fountainhead” and therefore are no longer content with love at “these lower reaches.”

In the gospel today, Jesus is testing Peter to see if he has discovered the best reason to become a priest. And so our Lord asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” because a priest is ultimately a man in love. And Peter replies, “Yes, Lord, I love you.” But the really critical part of Jesus question is the phrase, “more than these.”

That is, Jesus is asking Peter if he wants to taste love “at the fountainhead’ and not be content with its “lower reaches.” Can Peter sort of cut out the middle man of love and go straight to the source, namely, Jesus himself? And finally Peter must concede that only Jesus knows if Peter can love Jesus that much. And so he adds, “Love, you know everything; you know that I love you.”

Boys and girls, you will fall in love with many things and with many people in your life. You may love to run track like Isaac Pohlmeier. You may love to play volleyball like Izzie Antony. You may love to read the Bible like Oscar Burney. You may love the book “Jayber Crow” like Mr. Rocha. You may even love Latin like Fr. Antony. Okay, no one loves Latin except Fr. Antony.

And maybe you have fallen in love with some pretty blonde-haired, blue-eyed little girl in school like I did. Perhaps one day you will get married to that blonde-haired, blue eyed girl. And then you might get divorced from that blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, thinking that marriage was a mistake. But I will get it right the next time: I will marry a brunette!

But let me tell you a little secret: all these loves – for running, for volleyball, and Jayber Crow, and human love – are all still the “lower reaches” of love. They are merely the appetizer for the main course of love which is the love of God. But like lots of people do (myself included), we stuff ourselves on the appetizer and we lose our taste for the main course.

In other words, Jesus is not only asking Peter or priests, “Do you love me more than these?” He asks that same question of all of us. That is, do you love Jesus “more than these”, these other loves at “the lower reaches” and desire instead to taste love “at the fountainhead”?

Sooner or later we will discover that our entire earthly life has been simply a preview of coming attractions. It doesn’t mean we cannot love these other things or these other people. It just means we have to love Jesus “more than these.” Jesus asks all of us: “Do you love me more than these?”

Praised be Jesus Christ!