Listen with Love

Seeing the difference between hearing and listening

03/04/2021

Matthew 20:17-28 As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the Twelve disciples aside by themselves, and said to them on the way, “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn him to death, and hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day.” Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons and did him homage, wishing to ask him for something. He said to her, “What do you wish?” She answered him, “Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left, in your kingdom.” Jesus said in reply, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?” They said to him, “We can.” He replied, “My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

Have you ever thought about the difference between the two words “to hear” and “to listen”? They sound almost the same, but there are subtle and significant differences between these two words. Let’s think about them for a second. On the one hand, hearing is passive, you can almost do it in your sleep, you hear things and it needs no effort. Listening, on the other hand, is active and we have to work hard at it, to listen carefully.

We hear with our heads, where words go in one ear and out the other, sometimes. But we listen with our hearts because we listen with love. And words can touch us deeply, when we truly listen to them. We hear lots of sounds and static all day, and they can sound stupid. But when we listen with attention, we begin to understand the deeper meaning of things.

Listen, now, to these examples, and see if you can catch the difference between these two words “to hear” and “to listen.” Here’s the first example: “I heard Coach Meares yelling at his basketball players” – which you have probably heard many times. That is hearing but not necessarily listening. Here’s another example: “Listen to this song by Fifty Cent. Can you understand his words?” Probably not.

A third example: “If you do not speak Spanish, you only hear that language with your ears, and they bound off your ears without meaning. Pero si tu hablas el idioma puedes escuchar y entender cada palabra.” In other words, if we speak Spanish and listen attentively, we understand those words more deeply. That is the difference between hearing and listening.

The gospel today gives us another example of the difference between these two words “to hear” and “to listen.” See if you can discover which of the two – hearing or listening – the disciples are doing while Jesus is speaking to them. I’ll give you a clue: it’s what some Trinity students do while their teachers are speaking. Jesus says that he will be condemned and crucified.

But James and John want to make sure they get front row seats in Jesus’ kingdom. Jesus was explaining his execution, but the disciples were dreaming about who is going to ride shotgun with Jesus; who gets to sit where. Were the disciples only hearing with their head, so the words went in one ear and out the other? Or did they listen with love and understand what he was trying to share with them? Obviously, they only heard with their ears but did not listen with love.

Boys and girls, as you go through your day today, ask yourself if you are only “hearing” or if you are attentively “listening” to others? We live in a world where we are bombarded with noise, and it is very tempting to tune people out. “Tell it to the hand” - I’m not listening. Our ears are open to hear, but our hearts are closed to listening with love.

Sometimes, I ask people in conversations, “I’m sorry, but would you please repeat that? I did not quite catch what you said and I don’t want to miss what you mean.” It’s okay to say that: Would you please repeat what you just said. It shows respect and love. I want people to know that I am listening with love to their words.

Have you ever heard your parents fighting and arguing? There are lots of loud words being thrown around and hitting ears. But I am willing to bet there is precious little listening going on with love, and touching any hearts. It is very easy to tell the difference, isn’t it, when your parents are fighting and see the difference between hearing and listening with love.

One of the best gifts you can give to someone is to listen to them with love. To give another person your full and undivided attention, and not miss anything they mean to say, is a great gift. To listen to love is a great gift you can give to your friends, to your teachers, and someday, to your husband or to your wife. Try to give that gift to someone today, and I hope someone will give you that gift as well. But no matter how hard I listen with love to the songs of Fifty Cent, I will never understand what he’s saying.

Praised be Jesus Christ!