Four Letter Word

Giving and receiving names from others

07/09/2019

Genesis 32:23-33 In the course of the night, Jacob arose, took his two wives, with the two maidservants and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had taken them across the stream and had brought over all his possessions, Jacob was left there alone. Then some man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When the man saw that he could not prevail over him, he struck Jacob's hip at its socket, so that the hip socket was wrenched as they wrestled. The man then said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go until you bless me." The man asked, "What is your name?" He answered, "Jacob." Then the man said, "You shall no longer be spoken of as jacob, but as Israel, because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed." Jacob then asked him, "Do tell me your name, please." He answered, "Why should you want to know my name?" With that, he bade him farewell. Jacob named the place Peniel, "Because I have seen God face to face," he said, "yet my life has been spared."

One of the most intimate things two people can do is give each other a name. Can you think of the two instances in modern culture when we typically bestow a name on another person? Parents give their newborn babies a name, and husbands give their wives their own last name when they marry. In other words, to be given a name by another person indicates a relationship as intimate as family, two people who were strangers now sharing the same flesh and blood, in effect.

I have a kind of annoying habit of coming up with nicknames for my family and friends. I used to run with a group of friends in Fayetteville, and I bestowed nicknames on each of them as I got to know them. One man I dubbed “the Taxman” because his job is overseeing the tax accounting of a major corporation. Another lady I started calling “Blindside” because her voice sounded just like Sandra Bullock in the movie “Blindside.” And upon another lady I bestowed the name “Phonebook” because she literally used a phonebook to find a name for her baby while she gave birth in the hospital. Can you see how annoying this habit could be? But for me, and I hope for them, that name created an intimate bond of fellowship and even a feeling of family between us. That was my personal name for them and no one else called them that, and it touched something incredibly intimate between the two of us.

There are many instances of people giving a new name in the scriptures, and the first reading from Genesis 32 is a perfect example. Jacob wrestles with an angel all night and he apparently prevailed in the fight. But before the two part company, they sort of exchange names. And more than merely exchange names, they bestow new names on each other, because their nocturnal battle had built such a close bond between them. The angel changes Jacob’s name to “Israel” and Jacob bestows the name of “Peniel” upon the angel. Now, these names are not only personal, they are also profound, a little more profound than Taxman and Phonebook.

If you study the Hebrew meaning of the two names, you discover that Peniel means “face of God,” and “Israel” means “struggles with God.” As you probably know, Jacob had twelve sons, who became the heads of the twelve tribes of the nation of Israel. By the way, whenever you see the suffix “el” at the end of a name, like Peniel, or Israel, or Gabriel, or Michael, or Raphael, or Uriel, etc. that “el” means “God.” That is, these names are so charged with significance that they create a bond not only between two creatures, but a bond with the Creator, with God. To bestow a name and to receive a name is one of the most incredibly intimate things two people can do, perhaps the most intimate thing.

May I offer you three practical take-aways from this brief reflection on bestowing names? First, treat other people’s names with respect and even reverence, just like we hope other people will do the same with our name. When I wrote my first book, Archbishop J. Peter Sartain kindly wrote the Foreword. He also read the entire manuscript before publication and made several suggestions. One suggestion was that I be very careful about putting people’s name in print. If at all possible, I should ask their permission first, and avoid criticizing others by name or even by inference. Ever since then I have been careful about mentioning people by name in homilies and always ask their permission first. Names are previous commodities, like fine jewels, and should be treated with utmost respect.

Secondly, the Code of Canon Law, canon 220, reads: “No one is permitted to harm legitimately the good reputation which a person possesses.” When our bishop released the names of the clergy who had abused minors last year, I am sure he did so with great prayer and reluctance. But the needs of the many (for transparency) outweighed the need of the one (for his good reputation). Remember canon 220 before you say something negative about another person.

And thirdly, the name of God should be treated with the utmost respect and awe. Indeed, the third commandment of the Decalogue forbids “taking the Lord’s name in vain.” A whole commandment guards God’s good name. For Jews, the name of God was simply referred to as “the four letter word” – YHWH – the tetragrammaton, literally “four letter word.” God’s name is so holy, it should not even be uttered by devout Jews.

A friend of mine once told me that the sweetest word in any language is the sound of your own name. It is sweeter than the music of Bach or Beethoven, even if the name happens to be Taxman, Blindside or Phonebook.

Praised be Jesus Christ!