Bargain Hunter

Learning how to negotiate with God

07/06/2019

Genesis 18:16-33 While the two men walked on farther toward Sodom, the LORD remained standing before Abraham. Then Abraham drew nearer to him and said: "Will you sweep away the innocent with the guilty? Suppose there were fifty innocent people in the city; would you wipe out the place, rather than spare it for the sake of the fifty innocent people within it? Far be it from you to do such a thing, to make the innocent die with the guilty, so that the innocent and the guilty would be treated alike! Should not the judge of all the world act with justice?" The LORD replied, "If I find fifty innocent people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake." Abraham spoke up again: "See how I am presuming to speak to my Lord, though I am but dust and ashes! What if there are five less than fifty innocent people? Will you destroy the whole city because of those five?" He answered, "I will not destroy it if I find forty-five there." But Abraham persisted, saying, "What if only forty are found there?" He replied, "I will forbear doing it for the sake of forty." Then Abraham said, "Let not my Lord grow impatient if I go on. What if only thirty are found there?" He replied, "I will forbear doing it if I can find but thirty there." Still Abraham went on, "Since I have thus dared to speak to my Lord, what if there are no more than twenty?" He answered, "I will not destroy it for the sake of the twenty." But he still persisted: "Please, let not my Lord grow angry if I speak up this last time. What if there are at least ten there?" He replied, "For the sake of those ten, I will not destroy it."

All healthy human interaction, especially social intercourse, should be marked by both formality and familiarity. We should balance both and avoid extremes. That is, be careful you are not so familiar that you become crass, and not so formal that you are cold. I love watching old black-and-white movies because they beautifully balance both familiarity and formality. In the movie, “Casablanca,” for example, Signor Ferrari says to Victor Laslo, admiring his beautiful wife, Ilsa Lund (played by Ingrid Bergman), “I can see in one respect, monsieur, you are a very fortunate man.” When the couple prepares to leave Ferrari’s store, Ilsa returns the compliment saying: “I will miss your tea when we leave Casablanca.”

This past weekend, Msgr. Andrew Asa, a Laotian priest, stayed at the rectory. Every time we talked he would bow his head to greet me and it felt very formal. I tried to do the same but it only felt very awkward, like Danielsun with Mr. Miagi. But our conversation was very casual and very friendly. He loves to crack jokes. The Laotian culture has captured that rare balance of formality and familiarity in social interaction, and it’s something our American culture could use a crash course in soon.

In Genesis 18, Abraham also balances both formality and familiarity in his conversation with three mysterious guests. Tradition has often identified the three visitors not only as “angels” but also as a dim foreshadowing of the three Persons of the Holy Trinity. Still, that inference is not made explicit in the Genesis text. Abraham first treats his guests with great hospitality and formality. But then he begins to bargain with one of them very familiarly, trying to save some of the people in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Abraham asks: “Will you sweep away the innocent with the guilty? Suppose there are fifty innocent people in the city; would you wipe out the place rather than spare it for the sake of the fifty innocent people within it?” And we know how Abraham’s bargaining drives the number down from 50 to 45, to 40, to 30, to 20, and finally to 10. Abraham knew “the art of the deal” long before President Trump wrote a book on the subject. Notice how in his conversation with a pre-figurement of a Person of the Trinity, Abraham avoids being so formal as to be cold, and also being so familiar as to be crass. That’s why Abraham enjoyed such great success in human interactions but also in his intercourse with the divine.

Folks, reflect for a moment on your social interactions with other persons. Do you tend to be very formal and stuffy, or do you find yourself being so friendly that you abandon all social graces? St. Thomas Aquinas, following the lead of the ancient Aristotle, taught that “in medio stat virtus” (virtue stands in the middle of two extremes) (Summa Theologiae, II-II, 146, i). I don’t know about you, but I really struggle sometimes with being too familiar with my own family (pun intended). I tend to take my parents and siblings for granted and speak to them in a way I would not address a perfect stranger. I need to confess that I am familiar with them to the point of being crass and cross with them.

On the other hand, when I address God, I run to the opposite extreme. I feel so deferential that I never ask for anything for myself but I am happy to pray for others. Do you ever feel that way? But that kind of deference was not the disposition of Abraham, the Father of Faith. In other words, we should not err on the side of formality such that we are cold in our dealing with the divine. There is a holy and humble way to bargain with God, and Abraham is both our model and our measure.

I don’t know if you have read the book The Art of the Deal by President Donald Trump. It may be valuable. But I do urge you to read Genesis 18, where Abraham shows us the true art of the deal. He helps us not only deal with divine beings, but also with human beings in a way that is both friendly and familiar but without losing formality and grace. And if you cannot do that, at least go back and watch “Casablanca” again.

Praised be Jesus Christ!