Social Graces

Learning to see salt as symbol of love

02/28/2019

Mark 9:41-50 Jesus said to his disciples: "Anyone who gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ, amen, I say to you, will surely not lose his reward. "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were put around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed than with two hands to go into Gehenna, into the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life crippled than with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. "Everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good, but if salt becomes insipid, with what will you restore its flavor? Keep salt in yourselves and you will have peace with one another."

In the seminary they stressed learning some social graces so we would not behave like barbarians when we go out to dinner. One lesson I learned was always to taste your food before you start pouring salt and pepper all over it. Have you noticed how some people reach for the salt shaker as soon as their supper is served? How can you possibly know that your meal needs additional salt before you even taste it? But more urgent than the taste of the meal is the message you are sending to the chef: you’re basically saying he or she does not know how to season the food they prepare. In other words, eating is as much a social experience – what we say to each other implicitly or explicitly – as much as it is a nutritional experience – how we fill our stomachs.

I love that line from Kenny Chesney’s song called “The Good Stuff,” where he talks about early marriage years. He sings: “Eating burnt suppers the whole first year / And asking for seconds to keep her from tearing up / Yeah, man, that’s the good stuff.” Social graces, therefore, is the art of sharing your love for others during a meal as much as you share your peanut-butter and jelly sandwich with someone.

The gospel of Mark today includes a small section commonly called “The simile of salt.” Jesus teaches his disciples some social graces by explaining how salt serves as a symbol of their relationship to God and to each other, literally, “social graces.” Our Lord says a little mysteriously: “Everyone will be salted with fire. Salt is good, but if salt becomes insipid, with what will you restore its flavor? Keep salt in yourselves and you will have peace with one another.” Basically, Jesus means that just like salt gives flavor to a meal, so our faith gives flavor to our friendship with God.

Other scriptures also speak about salt and its spiritual value. Leviticus 2:13 commanded: “You shall season all your grain offerings with salt.” Salt was a symbol of the richness of the people’s covenant with Yahweh. In Colossians 2:6, St. Paul admonished: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you know how you should respond to each one.” In other words, in the scriptures, salt symbolized not so much the flavoring of food, but the flavoring of friendship, both our friendship with God and with others. Salt serves as the perfect symbol of social graces.

May I suggest three ways we can season our relationships with God and others with a little salt, symbolically-speaking? First, Lent starts next week and we begin the season of fasting. In Spanish there is a great saying about fasting. Our Hispanics say: “El hambre is el mejor sazon.” The best seasoning is hunger, because when you’re hungry, everything tastes good. When we fast, we season our relationship with God with hunger, our friendship with him sort of “tastes better.” Secondly, as St. Paul told the Colossians, flavor your speech with a little salt, that is, say what truly encourages others, rather than we may discourage them. Today think about the flavoring your add to your words, and add a little salt, rather than a lot of spicy salsa.

And thirdly, try to see salt, seasoning and supper as an opportunity for social graces and expression of love. Don’t salt your food before you taste it. Wait for everyone to be served before you dive into your dinner. Pray and give God thanks for the food you have received. I tell people that I don’t know where my next meal will come from, and I see my meals like the Israelites saw the “manna from heaven.” Indeed, we should all see our meals like a gift from God, like “manna from heaven,” and give him thanks.

It was not by accident that when Jesus instituted the new covenant of friendship with God and humanity, he gave it the form of a shared meal at the Last Supper. For Catholics, there is no greater moment of intimacy between God and neighbor than when we share the Bread and Wine of the Eucharist, Holy Communion. Here, too, there are social graces to be learned and lived, so we do not behave like barbarians.

Praised be Jesus Christ!