Tremendous Trust

Building a relationship on the bedrock of trust

04/25/2018

1 Peter 5:5B-14 Beloved:  Clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another, for: God opposes the proud but bestows favor on the humble. So humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. I write you this briefly through Silvanus, whom I consider a faithful brother, exhorting you and testifying that this is the true grace of God. Remain firm in it. The chosen one at Babylon sends you greeting, as does Mark, my son. Greet one another with a loving kiss. Peace to all of you who are in Christ.

The bedrock of any true friendship – indeed of any real relationship – is trust. But what is trust? I believe trust exists when you allow someone to see your weaknesses and warts knowing they will still love you. Everyone wants to look like “the knight in shining armor,” and hide our imperfections. That’s why we put on make-up, wear starched clothes, color our gray hair, and suck in our gut when someone takes our picture. The knight in armor doesn’t need to trust anyone because his armor protects him from people’s swords and arrows that might hurt him. Trust only emerges when we remove the armor and stand exposed to another’s gaze and let them see the fragile and fallible person inside. If you can’t let someone see the real you, you don’t trust them.

Let me use myself as an example. Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend named “Bill.” We got into his car and he asked me, “What do you feel like eating?” I answered, “Well, I don’t really care, but let’s go someone where there are cushioned seats because I have a bony butt.” He laughed and said, “Okay, I will buy you one of those donuts to sit on. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” That’s a simple illustration of trust. I know you all think I am the knight in shining armor but for a brief moment I removed the armor and let Bill see the human being (with a bony butt) inside. I trust Bill because I know he loves me not for my shiny armor, and not in spite of my physical imperfections, but because he sees my heart and character. Only when you trust someone enough to tell them about your bony butt is a friendship born.

I love the feast of St. Mark every year on April 25 because his friendship with St. Peter was also built on the bedrock of trust. At the end of St. Peter’s first letter he says: “The chosen one at Babylon sends you greetings, as does Mark, my son.” St. Peter was a close friend of St. Mark’s and he served as a primary source for Mark’s gospel. Peter trusted Mark implicitly and did not conceal embarrassing episodes about his blunders as an apostle, how he often put his foot in his mouth. Peter removed his shining armor and let Mark see the humble human being inside. Peter trusted Mark.

Mark, for his part, loved Peter, not because Peter was the first pope, or the rock on which Jesus would build his Church, or even in spite of his faults and failings, but because Mark saw Peter’s heart that loved Jesus more than life itself. Inspired by Peter’s trust, Mark in turn would recount his own embarrassing episode in the Garden of Gethsemane when a soldier grabbed his cloak and Mark wrestled free and ran off naked. Where there is no trust there is no friendship.

One of the things that makes Trinity such a special school is we try to teach you to trust each other. And trust means taking off your armor and letting someone see the real you. We make you wear uniforms so you can’t hide behind designer clothes and jewelry. We make you read and serve and sing at Mass and maybe you mess up. But we hope you trust us enough to love you even when you blunder. You try out for track and tennis and trombone, and you learn to trust that your Trinity classmates will love you regardless of how you perform. You may tell someone about a physical imperfection you have, or a family failing or an embarrassing story and trust they will still love you. And at Trinity we love you not for your shining armor, or in spite of your foibles and failures, but because we see your heart. And even more because we see Jesus in you.

That’s what makes a Catholic school unique: we teach you to see beyond the shining armor, beyond the blunders, and even beyond the personality. We teach you to see Jesus in each person. And when you see Jesus in every person it’s a lot easier to trust them because you believe they will not hurt you. That’s why the friendships you make at Trinity will last the rest of your life.

Praised be Jesus Christ!