Easy Company

Belonging to a band of brothers who choose the hard road

01/17/2018

1 Samuel 17:32-33, 37, 40-51 David spoke to Saul: "Let your majesty not lose courage. I am at your service to go and fight this Philistine." But Saul answered David, "You cannot go up against this Philistine and fight with him, for you are only a youth, while he has been a warrior from his youth." David continued: “The LORD, who delivered me from the claws of the lion and the bear, will also keep me safe from the clutches of this Philistine." Saul answered David, "Go! the LORD will be with you." Then, staff in hand, David selected five smooth stones from the wadi and put them in the pocket of his shepherd's bag. With his sling also ready to hand, he approached the Philistine. David put his hand into the bag and took out a stone, hurled it with the sling, and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone embedded itself in his brow, and he fell prostrate on the ground. Thus David overcame the Philistine with sling and stone; he struck the Philistine mortally, and did it without a sword. Then David ran and stood over him; with the Philistine's own sword which he drew from its sheath he dispatched him and cut off his head.

            Several years ago I watched one of the most gripping series called “Band of Brothers.” It’s about the World War II Army paratroopers unit called “Easy Company.” Their name is ironic because Easy Company never did anything “easy” in the war. In fact, they prided themselves on always getting the hardest assignments, thrown into the teeth of the enemy against insurmountable odds. For instance, they were among the first to land on D-Day on the beaches of Normandy to clear out the German artillery before the Allied Forces landed on Utah Beach. Easy Company fought at the Battle of the Bulge in Belgium. By the way, that’s how I remember where the Battle of the Bulge took place: “there’s a bulge in Belgium!” At one point First Lieutenant Spiers, to get a message to another company on the other side of a small town, runs through German lines, and through the town, and then back. One solider of Easy Company recalled, “The Germans were so shocked to see an American soldier running through their lines – they forgot to shoot!” Sometimes bravery is very close to bad judgment. But there was nothing easy about Easy Company; and that was their badge of honor.

            The book of Samuel recounts another great battle of insurmountable odds, of bravery bordering on bad judgment, and of one man who never took the easy way out. It’s the famous story of David versus Goliath, which has now become a cliché (an overused phrase). But the original event three thousand years ago was as inspiring as “Band of Brothers.” King Saul and the army of Israel faces the formidable forces of the Philistines, and their daunting champion, Goliath. But young David speaks up like First Lieutenant Spiers, and says to Saul, “Let your majesty not lose courage. I am at your service to go and fight this Philistine.” We all know how the story ends when David stands triumphant over the fallen Philistine and cuts off his head with Goliath’s own sword. The Army paratroopers of Easy Company would have been happy to have David as part of their “band of brothers.” Why? Because David never took the easy way, he ironically fit perfectly in Easy Company. There’s nothing easy about Easy Company.

           You and I are constantly faced with the choice to do something hard or to take the easy way out. But I encourage you to choose the harder path for one reason. Only in doing what’s arduous and painful and exhausting will you find joy in your work, and feel pride in your accomplishments. One day, that, too, will be your badge of honor.

             It’s not easy attending a Catholic school like Trinity. We give you lots of homework, the teachers are demanding, your parents ask you why you don’t have all A’s on your report card because they’re paying tuition and they want more for their money! You have to pray in Latin, you wear uniforms instead of the latest fashions, boys cannot have long hair, you cannot use cell phones, and even your socks can only be certain colors! So you have a choice to make between the hard road of a Catholic school or the relatively easy path of a public school. But only if you stick it out here will you look back someday with pride and pleasure and say, “I survived Mr. Bruce’s history class!”  The fact that 98% of our students return year after year means that you, too, could belong to Easy Company, who never did anything easy.

               Another group of people that could belong to the “band of brothers” are Catholic school teachers. Any one of them could take an easier path with more pay by teaching in a public school. But they take the hard road and make sacrifices to stay here. What I most admire about our teachers is their tolerance and toughness with students who are not very “easy company”! But they refuse to take the easy road and expel you because your teachers love you, and they gladly take the arduous path. Sometimes, they may feel like First Lieutenant Spiers in some classes like they’re running through German lines! I hope you’re so shocked by their bravery that you forget to shoot. There’s nothing easy about Easy Company.

             Do you know where that phrase “band of brothers” originated? It’s taken from Shakespeare’s play called “Henry V” and a spell-binding speech King Henry gave before a decisive battle against the French. Again, the English are facing overwhelming odds, and the French are already congratulating themselves on their victory, like Goliath was gloating before fighting David.. But Henry V rouses his troops saying, “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; / For he who sheds his blood with me / Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile/ This day shall gentle his condition” (Henry V, Act IV, Scene 3). Only those willing to shed their blood can belong to the band of brothers. There’s nothing easy about Easy Company.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Obedience School

Learning to obey our parents, spouses and the Church

01/15/2018

1 Samuel 15:16-23 Samuel said to Saul: "Stop! Let me tell you what the LORD said to me last night." Saul replied, "Speak!"  Samuel then said: "Though little in your own esteem, are you not leader of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king of Israel and sent you on a mission, saying, 'Go and put the sinful Amalekites under a ban of destruction. Fight against them until you have exterminated them.' Why then have you disobeyed the LORD? You have pounced on the spoil, thus displeasing the LORD." Saul answered Samuel: "I did indeed obey the LORD and fulfill the mission on which the LORD sent me. I have brought back Agag, and I have destroyed Amalek under the ban. But from the spoil the men took sheep and oxen, the best of what had been banned, to sacrifice to the LORD their God in Gilgal." But Samuel said: "Does the LORD so delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obedience to the command of the LORD? Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission than the fat of rams.

             The word “obedience” has undergone a rather profound transformation in modern America, or as we say today, “a total makeover.” Alongside the sexual revolution of the sixties, there was a concomitant “obedience revolution” where obedience went from being a virtue (a good thing) to almost being a vice (a bad thing). After all, we send dogs to obedience school, and not our children. I wonder sometimes, though, as we teach our children more and more freedom and self-expression and creativity, we don’t inadvertently leave less and less room for obedience. I’ve talked with several business leaders who lament the fact that millennials are increasingly hard to train and teach their trade. They lack the virtue of obedience.

                To be sure, freedom and self-expression and creativity are all good things and well worth nurturing. But here’s the price we pay for a loss of obedience: we fail to learn self-mastery. That is, in the inner society of each human person, the will does not obey the intellect (the dictates of prudence), rather it obeys the passions. St. Thomas Aquinas explained how we experience obedience in our own inner lives teaching, “Hence, Gregory [the Great] says that ‘obedience is rightly preferred to sacrifices, because by sacrifices another’s body is slain whereas by obedience we slay our own will’” (Summa Theologica, II-IIae, Q. 104, Art. 1). In other words, we all need to go to obedience school, otherwise, we will not be truly free, but rather slaves to our own wills; we will obey our passions instead of our prudence.

               The book of Samuel illustrates a tragic incident where someone confused sacrifice and obedience. God has instructed - better, commanded - King Saul not only to defeat the sinful Amalekites, but to destroy them, to annihilate them, to exterminate them off the face of the earth. But Saul behaves like many millennials do today and obeys his own will rather than the will of God. Saul rationalizes his disobedience saying he did defeat Amalek, but brought back some of their sheep and oxen for sacrifice. By the way, this passage is precisely what St. Thomas (and St. Gregory the Great) allude to in his teaching on obedience. The prophet Samuel, however, sees through Saul’s two-faced equivocation and replies: “Does the Lord so delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obedience to the command of the Lord? Obedience is better than sacrifice.” Why is obedience better than sacrifice? Well, because obedience slays our own wills whereas “in sacrifice another’s body is slain.” Obedience brings about self-mastery; and self-mastery leads to happiness. King Saul needed to go back to obedience school.

              Let me suggest three little exercises you can practice to develop the virtue of obedience, the muscle of self-mastery. First, be obedient to your parents. Do what they command you: take out the trash, do your homework, eat your vegetables, go to Mass, don’t stay out past midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight, with all due respect to Eric Clapton, who sang, “After midnight, we’re going to let it all hang out.” Second, be obedient to your spouse. And in the realm of spousal relationships, there should be a mutual subjection, a mutual obedience: sometimes the wife wins, and something the husband wins. That is, not all discussions should end with the man getting the final word, and those words being, “Yes dear.” Be obedient to each other out of love, be slaves to each other. And thirdly, be obedient to the Church. Sadly, we have lots of “cafeteria Catholics,” who are picking and choosing what they believe and how they behave (like Saul did). It’s increasingly hard to teach and train these millennials Catholics in the spiritual trade. Obedience is out and freedom, self-expression and creativity is in.

              But I believe the deeper danger lurking inside each of us is that while we feel free on the outside, we’re becoming slaves on the inside, slaves to our wills and our passions. We are experiencing the atrophy of the spiritual muscle of obedience and self-mastery. Maybe dogs are not the only ones who need to go to obedience school.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Beauty’s Balance

Learning to compliment beauty with the virtues

01/13/2018

1 SM 9:1-4, 17-19 There was a stalwart man from Benjamin named Kish, who was the son of Abiel, son of Zeror, son of Becorath, son of Aphiah, a Benjaminite. He had a son named Saul, who was a handsome young man. There was no other child of Israel more handsome than Saul; he stood head and shoulders above the people. Now the asses of Saul's father, Kish, had wandered off. Kish said to his son Saul, "Take one of the servants with you and go out and hunt for the asses." Accordingly they went through the hill country of Ephraim, and through the land of Shalishah. Not finding them there, they continued through the land of Shaalim without success. They also went through the land of Benjamin, but they failed to find the animals. When Samuel caught sight of Saul, the LORD assured him, "This is the man of whom I told you; he is to govern my people."

            Beautiful people wield a lot of power in the world. I’ve learned this more by observing others than by experiencing it myself. Beautiful women and handsome men possess a sort of hypnotic power over others, and we defer to them involuntarily and naturally. I remember an episode of the sitcom “Seinfeld” where Jerry and George are arguing over the merits of having a head full of hair. George, who is bald, asks, “So, what if men have hair? What’s the big deal?” To which, Jerry simply answers: “Men would rule the world.” There’s more truth to that statement than most of us would readily admit. In David McCullough’s biography of President John Adams, we see again the power of beauty. At the Continental Congress, Benjamin Franklin tells Adams the names of each member, and who has the qualities of a president. Adams immediately notices George Washington, and says, “He’s a natural born leader.”  Franklin sagely replies, “He’s always the tallest man in the room.  He’s bound to end up leading something.”  Don’t tell Napoleon that, who was known for this diminutive stature.

             That’s why beauty also needs a little balance, a sort of counter-point. Have you ever heard the old saying, “It’s the looks that gets them, but it’s the personality that keeps them”? Everyone is immediately attracted to the beautiful woman and the handsome man. But meaningful and enduring relationships require that beauty to be balanced with a personality that is kind and humble, wise and courageous. In other words, beauty alone is not enough “to rule the world.”

             This balancing act between beauty and personality is being portrayed in the book of Samuel. The people of Israel are clamoring for a king, a little like the American colonists were looking for a president. God instructs the prophet Samuel to anoint Saul. But do you recall Saul’s appearance? We read: “There was no other child of Israel more handsome than Saul; he stood head and shoulders above the people.” You might almost say that Saul had the hair of Seinfeld and the height of Washington. A good-looking guy like that was “bound to be leading something.” But sadly, Saul lacked the personality to back up the beauty. If you continue to read the rest of the story, Saul becomes terribly corrupt and God has to choose another king, the shepherd boy David, who is said to be “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14). That is, David possessed both beauty as well as its balance, a personality that was virtuous. Beauty alone is not enough “to rule the world.”

            Take a moment to think of your personal experiences with beauty – your own beauty as well as that of others. Have you noticed how deferential we tend to be around beautiful people? I am convinced that beautiful women get out of more speeding tickets than even priests do. Our culture has grown so obsessed with beauty that we make huge sacrifices and pay large sums of money to look young and attractive, instead of humbly accepting the aging process, and growing old gracefully. The beauty business is a billion dollar industry for a good reason. Sometimes we’re so enamored by beautiful people, we almost become slaves to them, doing anything not to lose them. I just finished a short story by D. H. Lawrence called “The Fox.” A very independent woman named March falls head over heels in love with a dashing red-headed younger soldier (who both resembles and behaves very much like a fox). In one very telling line, we read: “When he thought of her dark, startled, vulnerable eyes, he smiled subtly to himself. He was older than her, really. He was master of her” (“The Fox,” 23). Do you know any spouses that sometimes feel more like slaves?

            In all these far too common experiences, we forget beauty’s balance. The need for a personality adorned with the virtues of patience, mercy, cheerfulness, self-control, and modesty. Beauty should be balanced with virtue, goodness, and holiness. Indeed, holiness is the best kind of beauty. It’s the looks that gets them but it’s the personality that keeps them. And therefore, beauty alone cannot rule the world.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

J’accuse

Hearing the words inviting us to repent of our sins

01/12/2018

Mark 2:1-12 When Jesus returned to Capernaum after some days, it became known that he was at home. Many gathered together so that there was no longer room for them, not even around the door, and he preached the word to them. They came bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him. After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to him, "Child, your sins are forgiven." Now some of the scribes were sitting there asking themselves, "Why does this man speak that way? He is blaspheming. Who but God alone can forgive sins?" Jesus immediately knew in his mind what they were thinking to themselves, so he said, "Why are you thinking such things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Rise, pick up your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth" –he said to the paralytic, "I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home." He rose, picked up his mat at once, and went away in the sight of everyone.

            In 1973 Dr. Karl Meninger, an eminent American psychiatrist, wrote a book about sin that opened with this stunning, almost scary, scene. We read: “On a sunny day in September, 1972, a stern-faced, plainly dressed man could be seen standing still on a street corner in the busy Chicago Loop. As pedestrians hurried by on their way to lunch or business, he would solemnly lift his right arm, and pointing to the person nearest him, intone loudly the single word, ‘GUILTY!’ Then, without any change of expression, he would resume his stiff stance for a few moments before repeating the gesture. Then, again, the inexorable raising of his arm, the pointing, and the solemn pronouncing of the one word, ‘GUILTY!’” Meninger continued, “The effect of this strange j’accuse (French for “I accuse”) pantomime on the passing strangers was extraordinary, almost eerie. They would stare at him, hesitate, look away, look at each other, and then at him again; then hurriedly continue on their ways. One man, turning to another whom was my informant, exclaimed, ‘But how did he know?’” (emphasis in original) (Whatever Became of Sin?, 1-2).

           I read that book while I was still in the seminary and it left a lasting impression on me; I felt like one of those passersby on the Chicago Loop, and I felt guilty. That was precisely Meninger’s intention and hope in writing that book: to awaken a sense of shame for our sins.  Meninger’s book was like that wordless man on on the street corner, uttering, “J’accuse” to its readers. Unfortunately, when there is no sense of shame, we can feel like there is no sin.

           In the gospel today, Jesus is also trying to awaken a sense of sin in people who are oblivious to it. The gospel pericope recounts the faith of four friends, who bravely lower their paralytic partner into a crowded room, in order to get Jesus’ attention and aid. But what does Jesus do before he heals the man? He stunningly says: “Child, your sins are forgiven.” Most of the time we hear that story, we forget about the sin and focus on the friends and the healing. That healing is important, too. But clearly, Jesus’ priority is pardoning sins. He’s almost like that sternly-faced pantomime on the Chicago Loop raising his arm and pronouncing, “Guilty!” As a matter of fact, if you read that gospel passage carefully, you’ll see that the miracle of healing was only proffered as proof of Jesus’ authority to forgive sins. It’s quite conceivable that if the scribes had not questioned Jesus’ ability and authority to forgive, Jesus may not have healed the man.  Again, don’t misunderstand, Jesus certainly wants to heal the body, but like Karl Meninger, his deeper desire is to heal the heart. Therefore, Jesus solicits a sense of shame for sin, so he can move people to healing and true wholeness.

          My friends, do we feel any sense of shame for sins, or have we absolved ourselves of guilt and responsibility for our misdeeds? The biggest excuse I hear for why people don’t go to confession is, “I can’t think of anything I’ve done wrong.” And people mean that sincerely because they’ve lost that sense of shame for sins. I always suggest to such people, “Well, let your wife come up with the list of sins you can bring to confession. Or, ask your children to write down your sins. And then you can return the favor for them.” In other words, while we conveniently overlook our own faults and failings, they are painfully obvious to others. It’s easier to say “J’accuse” to others than to ourselves. 

         Another way to revive our sense of shame is to listen to our conscience. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches: “Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself, but which he must obey.” And later, “His conscience is man’s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths” (Catechism, 1776). That is, our conscience, if we listen to it attentively, also says to us, “J’accuse,” and awakens a sense of shame for sins.

           If we open our eyes and ears, like those people on that sunny day in September, 1972, we’ll see there is no shortage of pantomimes like that man on the Chicago Loop pointing at us and saying, “J’accuse.” But of course, shame and sin are not the last words for a Christian on his or her journey with Jesus. Nevertheless, they are necessary words on the path to peace, hope and happiness.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Water and Whiskey

Avoiding marrying a stranger while we’re on earth

01/11/2018

Mark 1:40-45 A leper came to him and kneeling down begged him and said, "If you wish, you can make me clean." Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand, touched the leper, and said to him, "I do will it. Be made clean." The leprosy left him immediately, and he was made clean. Then, warning him sternly, he dismissed him at once. Then he said to him, "See that you tell no one anything, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed; that will be proof for them." The man went away and began to publicize the whole matter. He spread the report abroad so that it was impossible for Jesus to enter a town openly. He remained outside in deserted places, and people kept coming to him from everywhere.

            I spend several hours every week preparing young couples for marriage. I can’t help but smile as I see how they talk and laugh and gaze at each other through rose-colored glasses. They walk into my office as if they were walking on the clouds, and they are preparing to marry an angel from heaven. Well, part of my job is to bring them back down to earth, and remind them, paraphrasing the country song by Frankie Ballard, “Every time you kiss me it [may not] be like sunshine and whiskey.”

            I use a phrase that sort of grabs their attention and helps them think a little more soberly about the reality of marriage. I suggest to them that “the worst thing that can happen to you on your wedding day is that you marry a stranger; that is, you marry someone you don’t really know very well.” That is, put down the whiskey and drink a little water. Now, my suggestion is not easy to put into practice because when we’re dating and courting someone we try to put our best foot forward; we try to look like the knight in shining armor. It requires, therefore, real humility, honesty and trust to remove the shining armor and let another person see our shortcomings and weaknesses. But on the other hand, how wonderful it would be to look at each other on your wedding day and say: “I know you’re not the knight in shining armor, but I still want to spend the rest of my life with you.” To win that kind of love, we risk rejection, it is hard-fought and it just takes time. In other words, it’s very hard to avoid marrying a stranger; you have to drink a lot more water than whiskey.

            In the gospel today, someone looks at Jesus through rose-colored glasses, and our Lord suggests he drink a little more water and a little less whiskey. Jesus cures a man of leprosy. But then Jesus surprisingly warns him: “See that you tell no one anything but go show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed; that will be proof for them.” Why did Jesus not want people to praise him for his powers of miraculous healing? Well, for the same reason I tell engaged couples be careful not to marry a stranger. In other words, Jesus true identity is not as a miracle-worker, but as the Suffering Servant of Isaiah 53, who was destined to die an ignominious death on the Cross. As a matter of fact, Jesus’ shyness to strut his superpowers is a biblical motif called “the messianic secret,” especially showcased in the gospel of Mark. Why? Well, because while Jesus wanted people to love him, he didn’t want them to marry a stranger. More water and less whiskey.

             My friends, this lesson of love is not only useful for engaged couples preparing for marriage, but for all of us. Sometimes we think we know people, but we don’t. Each human being is a profound mystery, and never just what meets the eye. Therefore, be careful in categorizing people with labels, like “liberal” or “conservative,” “traditional” or “progressive.” No person created in the image of God is that simple or that shallow. This temptation is especially strong with our own family members. We think, “Well, I know him!” or “I know her!” and we level those comments at others with a critical eye. But we don’t know our family members fully and completely; indeed, we are often a mystery to ourselves. Even St. Paul struggled with self-understanding when he lamented: “What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate” (Romans 7:15).

             I believe it will only be after death, and God-willing when we’re finally in heaven, that we’ll know each other well, and know ourselves well. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches this was the case even with St. Peter’s understanding of Jesus. We read: “The true meaning of [Jesus’] kingship is revealed only when he is raised high on the cross.” And further, it adds: “Only after his resurrection will Peter be able to proclaim Jesus’ messianic kingship to the People of God” (Catechism, 440). In other words, maybe only in heaven will we no longer marry a stranger.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

An Awakening

Understanding how God calls us to do his will

01/10/2018

1 Samuel 3:1-10, 19-20 During the time young Samuel was minister to the LORD under Eli, a revelation of the LORD was uncommon and vision infrequent. One day Eli was asleep in his usual place. His eyes had lately grown so weak that he could not see. The lamp of God was not yet extinguished, and Samuel was sleeping in the temple of the LORD where the ark of God was. The LORD called to Samuel, who answered, "Here I am." Samuel ran to Eli and said, "Here I am. You called me." "I did not call you," Eli said. "Go back to sleep."  So he went back to sleep. Again the LORD called Samuel, who rose and went to Eli. "Here I am," he said. "You called me." But Eli answered, "I did not call you, my son. Go back to sleep." At that time Samuel was not familiar with the LORD, because the LORD had not revealed anything to him as yet. The LORD called Samuel again, for the third time. Getting up and going to Eli, he said, "Here I am. You called me." Then Eli understood that the LORD was calling the youth. So Eli said to Samuel, "Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.'"  When Samuel went to sleep in his place, the LORD came and revealed his presence, calling out as before, "Samuel, Samuel!" Samuel answered, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

            Guys, I love Star Wars. It’s been great to see the next generation enjoy the latest installments of the Star Wars Saga: “The Force Awakens” and “The Last Jedi.” Of course, these movies are not nearly as good as the originals I grew up with! The plot revolves around two main characters: “Rey” and “Kylo Ren.” How many of you like Rey? How many of you like Kylo Ren? How many of you don’t know what Star Wars is? Well, here’s a quick clip from the official trailer of “The Last Jedi.”

             Let me say three things about Rey, who is my favorite character. First of all, she has experienced an awakening of power inside of her called “the Force.” It allows her to move boulders through the air; she can crack the side of a mountain; she’s swift with a light saber. Mostly, though, her power helps her to become a force for good in the galaxy. Secondly, she needs a mentor, a teacher, a jedi master, to show her the ways of the force. The famous line in the “The Last Jedi” was where Rey says, “I need someone to show me my place in all this.” But she doesn’t know whether to turn to Luke or to Kylo Ren. And thirdly, she doesn’t know who her parents are. But I know who her parents are! This isn’t in the movies, but I believe Rey’s parents will turn out to be Han Solo and General Leia, and therefore she is Kylo Ren’s sister. That’s why they have this weird telepathic connection.  And a big part of who Rey is comes from the fact of who her parents are. There’s an old saying that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Rey will be a lot like her parents.  In other words, Rey is struggling with three basic life questions: (1) what has awakened inside of her? (2) who can teach her her place in the universe? And (3) who are her parents?

             In the first reading today, little Samuel is asking these same three questions. First, he hears a voice that “awakens” him at night. Literally, an awakening.  It wasn’t a booming voice from the sky, but a gentle voice in his heart calling to him, like the force inside of Rey spoke to her. Second, Samuel needs someone to teach him how to listen to and obey that voice. He goes to Eli, like Rey went to Luke. At first Eli is confused, too, but later he realizes it’s God’s voice and helps Samuel to hear God’s voice in prayer. And third, Samuel needed to learn who his mother and father were, namely, Hannah and Elkanah. In the Old Testament we learn that Hannah was a woman of deep faith and a lot like Mary, Jesus’ mother. In fact, Hannah even sings a song similar to Mary’s Magnificat. In other words, Samuel, like Rey, anguished over answering those three fundamental questions: (1) what has awakened inside of me (and awakened me!)? (2) Who can teach me about this power? And (3) who are my parents?

               Boys and girls, may I suggest to you that many of you are struggling with these same questions. No, I am convinced that all of you are. First, you’ve noticed something awakening inside of you, some talent, some gift, some ability. Maybe you’re good at quiz bowl like Tommy Caldarera, or you can sing like Avery Herrera, or you play violin like Nicole Jeter, or you can shoot baskets like Lauren Redding. There’s a kind of force awakening inside each of you – each of you without exception – like it did inside Rey and inside little Samuel.

            Second, you need someone “to show you your place in all this.” You need a mentor, a coach, a guide to help you reach your full potential in life. But be careful whom you choose: you can choose the good side, like Coach Vitale, or the dark side, like Coach Meares. Just kidding: all our teachers and staff are great mentors for you. But other people will also be ready to lead you astray into drugs and sex and alcohol, into selfishness and laziness and pride. People stand ready to train you to walk down two very different paths in life.

            And third, who are your parents? You may know your parents’ names, but do you know who they really are?  Some of you may also want to be as different from them as humanly possible. I remember thinking as a teenager: “Man, I’m not going to be like my parents! When I grow up I’m not going to do the dumb stuff they do!” There is some truth in those sentiments: our parents are not perfect. But let me tell you two great things about your parents. First, they love you very much. And second, they sent you to Trinity Junior High because they want the best for you. Here’s the real truth about your parents: even the mistakes your parents make are only because they thought they were trying to do the best for you. Believe it or not. It takes a very long time to really know our parents and love our parents for who they really are. It may take until heaven to know our parents perfectly.

              On December 20, 2019, Episode IX in the Star Wars saga will be released and that will be the last of that epic series. It’ll be so sad to see it come to an end.  But your personal saga is just beginning. I hope your epic struggle between good and evil in your own life will have a happy ending in heaven.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Portia’s Picture

Choosing lead and myrrh to love others more than ourselves

01/07/2018

Matthew 2:1-12 When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, in the days of King Herod, behold, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, "Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star at its rising and have come to do him homage." And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them,  until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed for their country by another way.

           Arguably the most spell-binding scene in Shakespeare’s play called “The Merchant of Venice” is the test of true love. A ravishingly beautiful woman named Portia wants to be married, but her late father has devised a devious test to see which suitor will be the best for his daughter. All you dads out there remember this when some dude comes to marry your darling daughter. Test those boys. Here’s how Portia’s papa did it. Each suitor must examine three “caskets” or boxes with an inscription, but only one contains the picture of Portia, and the suitor who selects that casket wins the beautiful bride. The first casket is made of gold, the second of silver, and the third of plain lead. Which casket would you have chosen?

          The first suitor to make the attempt is the haughty Prince of Morocco. He immediately rejects the leaden casket as below his princely dignity and chooses instead the gold casket, on which he finds the inscription, “Who chooseth me shall gain what many men desire.” But when he opens it, he’s startled to see a skull with a scroll rolled up inside, not Portia’s picture. The scroll reads in part: “All that glisters is not gold…Gilded tombs do worms enfold.” Ouch. The second suitor is the proud Prince of Arragon, who also turns up his nose at the leaden casket, but is intrigued by the silver one. The silver inscription reads: “Who chooseth me shall get as much as he deserves,” and clearly the Prince of Arragon believed he deserved Portia!  But upon opening the casket he’s shocked to see the image of a blinking idiot, a fool, not Portia’s picture. The Prince left feeling foolish indeed.

          Finally, Bassanio arrives – one of the main characters – but because he’s humble, he’s not easily tempted by the silver or gold caskets. Instead he reads the inscription on the leaden casket: “Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath,” that is, he must sacrifice everything. He chooses the leaden box because he is willing to hazard everything for Portia; he loves her more than he loves himself. You can guess what he found inside the lead casket. In other words, Portia’s father devised a test whereby his daughter would marry someone ready to sacrifice everything for her. Isn’t that what every father hopes for his future son-in-law?

             In the gospel today, we see more royal persons and more caskets with mysterious gifts inside, but both are stories of tests of love. Three Magi or kings arrive in Bethlehem and present gifts to the Baby Jesus. The first gift is gold, which means the new-born Child will be a king. Gold symbolizes royal authority and power. The second gift is a casket of frankincense, symbolizing a priestly identity and purpose. Priests offer incense at Mass. But strangely, the third gift is myrrh, an oil used to anoint and preserve dead bodies. The first two kings must have looked at the third and wondered: “Myrrh? Really? That’s the best you have??” But the first two kings would have missed the meaning of the myrrh, just like the first two princes missed the lesson of the lead. More than kingly power and even more than priestly prerogatives, Jesus came to pass the test of true love by suffering and dying on the Cross, and having his body anointed with myrrh. In other words, the myrrh meant the same thing as the lead: “Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.” The myrrh means loving others more than yourself.

             Folks, passing the test of true love doesn’t just happen in stories in Shakespeare and in Scripture; it happens every day. Our love is always being tested by the choice to do something easy (gold and silver) or to do something hard (lead and myrrh)? I often counsel couples who are dating or engaged why they shouldn’t have premarital sex. I ask them: which is easier: to engage in sex or to refrain from sex – gosh, even I know the answer to that question! It’s when you choose the lead and myrrh – it’s when you do something difficult – that you show true love. This is why Catholics go to confession to a priest. Why? Well, because telling another human being our faults and failings is a heck of a lot harder than apologizing to God in our hearts. Don’t get me wrong: we do have to make a sincere act of contrition with our whole hearts to God. But which is harder: talking to God or talking to a priest, like Fr. John about our sins? Confession to a priest is lead and myrrh for Catholics, the test of true love for Jesus.

             What about our financial contributions to church and charity? My brother had a habit whenever he went to Mass and it came time for the collection. He would open his wallet and find the largest bill he had a drop that in the basket. Maybe that’s why he only carried ones and fives! But it was nevertheless a test of love, and the only way to pass it is by choosing the lead and the myrrh. Many people are dieting these days to lose some weight. They are trying to eat fruits and vegetables instead of sweets and soft drinks. And that’s a good thing. But may I suggest that you forget about shedding the pounds, and instead eat as a test of love for the body God has given you, the temple of the Holy Spirit. Eating well can also be a test of love, “Who chooseth me must hazard his cheesecake and chocolate pie.” Life constantly presents us with tests of true love: we choose either the gold and silver or the lead and myrrh.

              When Bassanio opens the third casket of lead, he finds Portia’s picture inside. But also finds a poem, which reads: “You that choose not by the view, Chance as fair and choose as true. Since this fortune falls to you, Be content and seek no new. If you be well pleased with this, And hold your fortune for your bliss, Turn you where your lady is, And claim her with a loving kiss.” When we choose the lead and the myrrh, we too can hope to end our days with a loving kiss from God.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Snorkeling in Somalia

Avoiding judgment of people and places

01/06/2018

John 1:43-51 Jesus decided to go to Galilee, and he found Philip. And Jesus said to him, "Follow me." Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the town of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and told him, "We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth." But Nathanael said to him, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see." Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, "Here is a true child of Israel. There is no duplicity in him." Nathanael said to him, "How do you know me?" Jesus answered and said to him, "Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree." Nathanael answered him, "Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel." Jesus answered and said to him, "Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this." And he said to him, "Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man."

            Boys and girls, welcome back from your Christmas vacations! Did anyone go anywhere exciting for your vacation? I know some students who went to Colorado because you sent me pictures of you skiing! Others went to California and still others went to Florida or to New York! My favorite kind of vacation is a stay-cation, especially when everyone else leaves! But did anyone go out of the country on vacation, maybe to Mexico, or to Peru, or Argentina or maybe even to Europe and Rome, “Catholic Headquarters”? These are all great places to visit and see.

           But did you ever think about taking a vacation to North Korea and spending a few weeks there? No way! Or maybe spend a week sight-seeing in Iraq or Afghanistan? That would be crazy! Have you ever wanted to go fishing or snorkeling off the coast of Somalia? That would be very dangerous because there are real pirates who could rob you. Now, I don’t really recommend you go on vacation to these places, but do you know there are still good and holy people who live in North Korea and in Iraq and in Afghanistan and in Somalia? Sometimes, when we hear people talking very poorly about a place, saying it’s very dangerous or poor or backwards, we think “Nothing good and no one good can come from that place,” but there are still good and holy people in all places on our planet.

              In the gospel today, Nathaniel has a very poor opinion of the town of Nazareth. Do you know who grew up and lived for thirty years in Nazareth? Jesus did! But when Philip tells Nathaniel about Jesus from Nazareth, how does Nathaniel react? He scoffs: “Can anything good come from Nazareth??” It’s almost like he’s saying, “Can anything good come from North Korea??” Nazareth had a bad reputation for being a backward, poor and dangerous place, like some of the other places I mentioned earlier. But that’s precisely where the Son of God grew up. We must always remember that there are good and holy people everywhere in the world, even in dangerous places, so be careful saying, “Can anything good come from there!?”

            Boys and girls, here the funny thing: did you know that people who don’t live in Fort Smith sometimes have a poor opinion about our fair city?  I know that’s hard to believe but some people think we are poor and backward and dangerous. They ask like Nathaniel, “Can anything good come from Fort Smith??” But we know better, don’t we? We know that there are lots of good and holy people who live here, and we try to be some of them! We live in the state of Arkansas, but there are some people who don’t live here, who think, “Can anything good come from Arkansas??” But we know there are good and holy people in the Natural State, too.

            Boys and girls, we live in a wonderful world, on a planet with spectacular places. No place on this planet is perfect, but there is also no place on this plane that doesn’t have good and holy people living there, even in Fort Smith!

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Wild Hut

Learning how our property reflects our personality

01/04/2018

John 1:35-42 John was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by, he said, "Behold, the Lamb of God." The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, "What are you looking for?" They said to him, "Rabbi" (which translated means Teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come, and you will see." So they went and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day. It was about four in the afternoon. Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, was one of the two who heard John and followed Jesus. He first found his own brother Simon and told him, "We have found the Messiah," which is translated Christ. Then he brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him and said, "You are Simon the son of John; you will be called Cephas," which is translated Peter.

            I love to go to people’s home for supper, as you know, and bless their homes after supper. One reason that’s such a joy for me is I get to see where people live but also how people live. And when I bless their home, I bless every room in their home, which usually terrifies the parents (because they’ve shoved everything into closets), but the children love it. In fact, sometimes the children will take me by the hand and literally drag me to their room to show me all their “stuff.” Every detail in their room means something: from their t-ball trophies, to their American doll collection, to their Star Wars figurines. I realize, however, they are not just showing me their stuff, but they are also revealing to me their heart, who they are. Your property reflects your personality.

            I’ll never forget that delightful description of Phoebe Penchant in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s classic novel, The House of the Seven Gables, showing how Phoebe’s personality came out in her property. Hawthorne wrote: “Little Phoebe was one of those persons who possess, as their exclusive patrimony, the gift of practical arrangement. It’s a kind of natural magic that enables these favored ones to bring out the hidden capabilities of things around them; and particularly to give a look of comfort and habitableness to any place which, for however brief a period, may happen to be their home.” Hawthorne continues more concretely: “A wild hut of underbrush, tossed together by wayfarers through the primitive forest, would acquire the home aspect by one night’s lodging of such a woman, and would retain it long after her quiet figure had disappeared into the surrounding shade” (The House of the Seven Gables, chapter 5). I’m sorry that quotation is so long, but there you see not only Phoebe’s natural magic, but also Hawthorne’s literary magic. Our property always reflects our personality, one way or another.

             In the gospel today, Jesus and his first followers have a seemingly innocuous little exchange that seems like just casual conversation, but it isn’t at all. Two disciples start following Jesus and the Lord asks them, “What are you looking for?” They rather blandly reply: “Rabbi, where are you staying?” But that answer was anything but bland or blah; rather they were inquiring like me: “May I come to your home for supper, so we can really get to know each other?” Why? Well, because the disciples knew that a person’s property reflects their personality, and Jesus was no exception, even though he had very little personal property, “the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head” (Luke 9:58). Jesus may well have enjoyed as Hawthorne said, “a wild hut of underbrush, tossed together by wayfarers through the primitive forest.” Nevertheless, even that “wild hut” would have borne the stamp of Jesus’ personality: his poverty, his humility, his dedication to the Father’s will.

               My friends, when you go home today, take a moment to study your own home. Look at everything as if someone were coming to your home for the first time, like Fr. John! What would your property say about your personality? Do you possess that natural magic of Phoebe, and give everything “a look of comfort and habitableness”? Are you a hoarder, which is becoming very fashionable these days, with their own television show? Do you live in a “wild hut”? Would you be embarrassed to have someone in your home, or would you happily drag them by the hand to every room? Above all, would your home say anything about your faith? I don’t mean your home has to be decorated like the Sistine Chapel, but like Jesus, does your property reflect a personality that is poor, humble and dedicated to the Father’s will?

               It matters little if you live in a house of seven gables, or in a wild hut. But it is inescapable that your property will reflect your personality..

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Stupid Smart

Admitting our ignorance so we can be truly wise

01/03/2018

John 1:29-34 John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. He is the one of whom I said, 'A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.' I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel." John testified further, saying, "I saw the Spirit come down like a dove from the sky and remain upon him. I did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain, he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.' Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God."

            Boys and girls, I am convinced that one of the smartest things you can ever say is, “I don’t know.” That may sound like an oxymoron – a contradiction in terms, like saying, “That guy is stupid smart!” – but think about it. The person who thinks he or she knows everything is not open to learning more (he knows it all); whereas, the person who thinks he or she knows nothing is ready to learn everything.

           Two of the smartest people who ever lived were ready to say, “I do not know,” namely, Socrates and Albert Einstein. And, by the way, they were both “stupid smart.” Socrates never really wrote anything himself but is rather the main character in Plato’s famous dialogues, and in that sense, he is like Jesus who never wrote anything but was the main character in the four gospels. Socrates would engage people in conversation, and these people thought they were really wise. But through asking questions, Socrates would help them realize they didn’t know very much. After one such conversation, Socrates concludes: “I seem, then, in just this little thing to be wiser than this man at any rate, that what I do not know I do not think I know either” (Plato, Apologia, 21d).  In other words, Socrates was willing to admit, “I do not know.”

            The same with Albert Einstein, the brilliant 20th century physicist, who developed the general and special theories of relativity. In 1931 the Nazis waged a campaign against all Jewish scientists in Germany, and wrote a book targeting Einstein (who you know was Jewish) called, 100 Authors Against Einstein. What was Einstein’s response? He simply said, “Why one hundred? If I were wrong, one would have been enough” (quoted in Stephen Hawking, The Universe in a Nutshell, 26) Remember that reply if someone writes a book like that against you. That was also a very humble reply because he was ready to admit he was wrong, if someone could give the reasons why, even if one person could show him his error. He was ready to concede, “I do not know,” and, by the way, that’s why he came close to discovering the “theory of everything,” which scientists called the “TOE” – the theory of everything.

             In the gospel today, St. John the Baptist also humbly confesses his ignorance, that he didn’t know something, or rather someone. John beholds Jesus and exclaims: “Behold the Lamb of God.” But then he surprisingly adds, “I did not know him, but the reason why I came baptizing with water was that he might be made known to Israel.” That’s quite a self-indictment, isn’t it? Why? Well, because John’s whole life was like a huge arrow pointing to Jesus, and at the very culmination of his life, he almost misses the mark, saying, “I did not know him.” This wasn’t some kind of false humility, but true questioning and doubting, but also a moment of genuine faith and belief in Jesus. In other words, not only does admitting your ignorance make your wiser (like Socrates and Einstein), but ignorance can also help you grow in faith, and become a true believer. That’s how you become really stupid smart.

              As you begin this new semester, don’t be afraid to admit, “I don’t know.” Ask questions in class. Don’t be worried about raising your hand. Find your voice and hear what you sound like. Each of you has a great voice given to you by God, and this world needs to hear it (just don’t use your voice to talk during Mass!).

            One Trinity student sent me a long list of questions recently about religion. She was finding her voice, and she was willing to admit she did not know. But I believe that’s exactly how she was becoming wiser and more faith-filled. See if you know the answers to these questions: “Were there really only 3 kings?” “Does God have a last name?” “If God knows what we want, why doesn’t he give it to us right away?”  “If he sees too much suffering, why doesn’t he take us now?” “How did God make the angels?” “What does God want from us?” “How did Satan become so evil?” “How would life be if death had never existed?” “Why does God not reveal himself?” And that was just half of her questions! I felt like one of the people Socrates has a conversation with, whom he peppers with questions, and by the end of it they feel like saying, “All I know is that I don’t know!!!” But right there, in that humble, holy moment of ignorance lies hidden also the beginning not only of wisdom but also of faith.  Those questions show me that that young Trinity student was becoming very wise and faith-filled.

              One of the smartest things you can ever say in life is “I do not know.” Why? Well, because in that moment you are ready to learn everything, you’re becoming stupid smart.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

You Name the Babies

Inviting God to be a vital part of our family life

01/01/2018

Luke 2:16-21 The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph, and the infant lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known the message that had been told them about this child. All who heard it were amazed by what had been told them by the shepherds. And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, just as it had been told to them. When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.

          One key to a successful marriage is when the husband and wife find their proper roles and responsibilities. Being either male or female means each will innately possess some natural skills but also some noticeable shortcomings. The guy will be good at some things, while the gal will be great at other things in taking care of their family, their home and their future.

             I recently heard a humorous country song by Blake Shelton describing this domestic division of labor, called “I’ll Name the Dogs.” Part of the lyrics are: “You find the spot and I’ll find the money / You be the pretty and I’ll be the funny / You plant the flowers and I’ll plant the kisses / Baby, let’s get right down to business.” Then the refrain goes: “I’ll hang the pictures, you hang the stars / You pick the paint, I’ll pick a guitar / Sing you a song out there with the crickets and the frogs / You name the babies and I’ll name the dogs.” I love that line: “You name the babies and I’ll name the dogs” because sometimes, the dogs are as important at the babies!  In other words, when you know who’s going to take care of what, married life goes a lot smoother and easier for everybody, even the dogs.

          The gospel of Luke records how the newly married couple of Mary and Joseph also experienced the domestic division of labor for the smooth operation of their Holy Family, but with one notable exception: neither of them got to name the Baby. We read: “When eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus, the name given him by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.” I’m not sure if St. Joseph still got to name the dogs, but neither Mary nor Joseph got to name the Baby; that role was fulfilled by the angel. The Holy Family was keenly aware that not all domestic duties can be divided between the husband and the wife, even if they’re as holy as Mary and Joseph! Why? Well, because some tasks require divine intervention. Mary and Joseph knew that for their marriage to go smoothly and be a success, God would also need to have a place at the family table, and so they were obedient to the angel’s command, and named Jesus accordingly. Everyone needs to know their respective role and responsibilities for a successful marriage and family.

          My friends, as we begin a new calendar year, are you clear about your place in your family: whether your job is to “pick the paint” or to “pick a guitar”? And more importantly, have you included God in the domestic division of labor of your household? Does God have a significant role in how you conduct your family business, or is God just an afterthought? With all due respect to Blake Shelton, Catholic parents used to let God sort of name the babies. How’s that? Well, depending on the day the baby was born, he or she would be named for the saint of the day. For instance, a baby born today, would have been named “Mary” or “Joseph.” Do you involve God in making financial decisions for your family, like how much to tithe or give to charity, or is it simply a calculation of how much of a tax deduction you need this year? Maybe Uncle Sam is more involved in your finances than God is.  Does God get to go on your family vacations, meaning do you make an effort to go to Mass even on vacation? Do you pray for divine guidance before making a choice of a college, or a career, or evening cooking, like not eating meat on Fridays of Lent?

          In other words, when you sit down at the kitchen table and divvy out the duties for domestic happiness and good order, be sure to leave a place at the table for God. You can still name all the dogs, but sometimes, God wants to name the babies.

Praised be Jesus Christ!

Parent Trap

Embracing both the joys and the sorrows of Christian parenting

12/31/2017

Luke 2:22-40 When the days were completed for their purification according to the law of Moses, They took him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord, Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, awaiting the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he should not see death  before he had seen the Christ of the Lord. He came in the Spirit into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform the custom of the law in regard to him, He took him into his arms and blessed God, saying: "Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you prepared in sight of all the peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and glory for your people Israel." The child's father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, "Behold, this child is destined  for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted —and you yourself a sword will pierce— so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed."

            One of the greatest joys of Christianity is being a parent, and one of the greatest agonies of Christianity is being a parent! That is, having children is so joyful we don’t want to live without them, but it can be so challenging that sometimes, we can’t live with them. It’s a sort of Christian “parent trap.” Here are a couple of humorous examples.

  

             A young man never liked to do his homework and always came up with excuses to shirk his work. His father often scolded him for his laziness. One day, the young man said, “If I had a computer, it would be so much easier.” His father replied: “You don’t need a computer, son. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he studied by candlelight in a log cabin.” But the teenager fired back: “And when he was your age, dad, he was president of the United States.” I’m so glad I don’t have a smart-alek teenage son. The second example describes how parenting evolves with each baby. With the first baby, you spend some time every day just gazing at the baby’s antics. With the second baby, you spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby. With the third baby, you spend a little bit of every day trying to hide from the children. Would anyone like to become a priest or nun now?? Few things in life are as joyful as parenthood, and few things are as agonizing as parenthood.

               In the gospel today, Simeon predicts that Mary and Joseph will also suffer these parental peaks and valleys in their family life with Jesus. On the one hand, Simeon says Jesus will be a “light of revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of [the] people Israel.” Can’t you just imagine St. Joseph puffing out his chest with pride, thinking, “That’s my boy!” even though he was Jesus’ foster father. But Simeon goes on to prophesy that parenting would also come at a price, saying to Mary: “And you yourself a sword will pierce – so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” Scripture scholars and saints have interpreted that prophesy to mean that Mary would suffer as only a mother could standing silently at the foot of the Cross, helplessly watching her son suffer and die. This is why traditional images of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are often depicted with a sword going through it referring to Simeon’s prophesy in Luke 2:35. In other words, even though Mary and Joseph were parents of the perfect Son, they would not escape the “parent trap,” where both great joys and great agonies are part and parcel of Christian parenting.

                Folks, I’m going to go out on a limb here and offer you a little parenting advice. I realize this sounds a little presumptuous because I’m not literally a parent, but a lot more people call me “Father” than any of you. Let me offer you five pieces of friendly advice as your “spiritual father.”

First pray for your children. This is the easiest of the five parenting tools, but also the most easily ignored and overlooked. Do you actually pray for them literally and daily? Pray for them at Mass, pray the rosary for them (and with them), do a novena for them. One friend of mine prays not only for her children but also for their future spouses because while she may not know who they are, God does. And she wants them to be the best person possible before their meet her kids, so she prays for them. My family gathered and prayed one Our Father, and three Hail Mary’s (one for each child) before we left for school each morning. Pray for your children.

   

                Second, the best gift you can give your child as a father is to love their mother, and the best gift you can give your children as a mother is to love their father. I say this with love and compassion to all divorced and separated parents. But more than the latest video game, or the most fashionable clothes, or a vacation to Disney World, what your children want from you is that you love each other as their mom and dad. Your children don’t mind if you schedule a “date night,” but just don’t be gone for a week!

              Third, lead by example. Don’t ever catch yourself repeating the false aphorism, “Do as I say, not as I do!” Why? Well, because children have an uncanny ability to sniff out a phony, a hypocrite. Don’t just tell them to take out the trash, but do it also yourself. Don’t just make them unload the dishwasher, do it yourself sometimes. Don’t tell them to mow the lawn, but do it yourself occasionally. Don’t just tell them to go to Mass, but go faithfully yourself. If you practice what you preach, not only will you be proud of your children, but your children will be proud of you.

              Fourth, don’t always make life easier for your children, sometimes let life be hard. Last August at Catholic High School for Boys in Little Rock, Steve Straessle, the principal, posted a sign in the school lobby. It had a red stop sign at the top and below it read: “If you are dropping off your son’s forgotten lunch, books, homework, equipment, etc., please TURN AROUND and exit the building. Your son will learn to problem-solve in your absence” (emphasis in original). That sign went viral on social media, being shared over 110,000 times.  Don’t make life easier for your kids. What doesn’t kill your children will only make them stronger, just like it did for you.

                And fifth, prepare yourself for the day that you must let your children go. God does not give you children as a permanent possession, but rather as a loan, and someday you must give them back to him. Nothing causes as much tension and turmoil in family life than when parents get overly involved in their children’s family life. As a parent, you too, like Mary, may stand silently at the foot of their cross and feel like a sword has pierced your heart as your children follow a path you would not recommend. Has that happened to you yet? Perhaps the hardest part of parenting is letting your children go and allowing them to be the author the chapters of their own life story.

                 In 2006, Rodney Atkins released a country music song called “Watching You,” with his own advice about parenting. The refrain went like this: “I’ve been watching you, dad, ain’t that cool? / I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you / And eat all my food, and grow as tall as you are. / We got cowboy boots and camo pants / Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad? / I wanna do everything you do / So I’ve been watching you.” By the way, that adoring little buckaroo will one day grow up to be a smart-alek teenager.

Praised be Jesus Christ!