Not Knowing

Taking the first step in the journey of faith

04/19/2017

Luke 24:13-35 

That very day, the first day of the week, two of Jesus' disciples were going to a village seven miles from Jerusalem called Emmaus, and they were conversing about all the things that had occurred. And it happened that while they were conversing and debating, Jesus himself drew near and walked with them, but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him. And he said to them, "Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?" Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them what referred to him in all the Scriptures. And it happened that, while he was with them at table, he took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and gave it to them. With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him, but he vanished from their sight. Then the two recounted what had taken place on the way and how he was made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

The older I get the more I know that I don’t know, and the funny thing is that I’m okay with the not knowing. Now, this was not always the case: I wanted to know everything. I graduated from high school academically ranked number 9 out of 177 boys at Catholic High (if there had been girls there, I would have been ranked much lower). And I distinctly remember thinking as I graduated: “What could they possibly teach us in college? We’ve already learned everything! I guess they will just review the same stuff.” Please don’t misunderstand me: I didn’t say that out of a sense of superiority, but I sincerely suspected that I knew everything. One can’t help but look back and laugh at one’s youth. When you are young, you simply do not know what you do not know.

Recently, I’ve been reading a book on Pope Benedict XVI, which was an interview between him and the German journalist, Peter Seewald. The pope-emeritus said something that surprised me. He said, “I know if I do not understand something that doesn’t mean it is wrong, but that I am too small for it.” He explained further: “You realize that you must be humble, you must wait when you can’t enter into a passage of the Scripture, until the Lord opens it up for you” (Last Testament, 10). Wow, here’s one of the top Scripture scholars of the last century saying there are many things he doesn’t know or understand. When one gets older (and a little wiser) you begin to know what you don’t know, and you accept those things on faith, indeed, such acceptance is the first step of faith.

Today’s lengthy gospel is the magnificent episode of the “Emmaus Walk,” where two disciples converse with Jesus on the road. It is Easter Sunday, and the two disciples are wrestling with the events of the Triduum: Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday. Jesus is perturbed with their ignorance and says: “Oh, how foolish you are! How slow of heart to believe all that the prophets spoke!” In other words, Jesus wanted them to know that they didn’t know, so he could lead them in the journey of faith. Then Luke writes: “The beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them what referred to him in all the Scriptures.” Like Pope Benedict said, “You must wait when you can’t enter into a passage of Scripture, until the Lord opens it up for you.” Sometimes, it’s only when you know that you don’t know - when you are finally and fully aware of your ignorance - that you’ve taken the first step of faith.

My friends, we are all on the Emmaus Walk with Jesus, and it is a journey of faith. Sometimes we feel we see everything and our life makes perfect sense, like when we take a Scripture study course or attend a soul-stirring retreat. We think, “Okay, I finally get it.” We walk in light and truth. But at other times we are completely confounded and feel we know nothing, like Sgt. Schultz always said on “Hogans Heroes.” Some tragedy befalls us, like my nephew’s death, or we experience a divorce, or the loss of a job, or the break-up of a close friendship. We feel plunged into darkness and know that we do not know anything.

In all these moments, in the light and in the dark, in ignorance and truth, do what the disciples did in the gospel and “break bread” with Jesus, that is, go to Mass. At the Mass, and ultimately only at the Mass will we find light, comfort and peace. As the pope said, “make yourself humble” and go to the Eucharist; it takes great humility to believe what Catholics believe about the Eucharist (there’s much more we do not know about the Mass than what we do know). And you, too, will enjoy what the two disciples did. Luke wrote: “[Jesus] was made known to them in the breaking of the bread.” It is only when we finally accept the fact that we know that we don’t know, that we have taken the first step of faith.

Praised be Jesus Christ!