Bare Bodies

Seeing ourselves as we truly are

 Matthew 18:21–27

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the Kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount. Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’ Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.

            Have you ever noticed how we are the worst judges in our own case?  We can tell so easily what other people should do – like whom our children should marry, and whom they should not marry! – but it’s so hard to know what to do in our own situation.  It is so easy to give advice to others, but it’s so hard to accept advice from others.  By the way, this is why doctors are not allowed to prescribe very strong medicine for themselves; another doctor must write the prescription.  Why?  Because a doctor is not the best judge in his own case. This is why priests cannot go to confession to ourselves.  Oh, how I would love to go to confession looking into a mirror and say, “Fr. John, I absolve you from your sins.  You’re trying so hard, and Fr. Pius and Fr. Andrew just don’t understand how special you are!”  When the Church – and the Bible (James 5:16)! – teaches that you must go to another person to confess your sins, it is telling you something profound about human nature.  We are not the best judge in our own situation; indeed, we are the worst judge.

            In today’s gospel, Jesus tells the parable of a man who is the worst judge in his own case.  He begs for mercy for himself and is treated with leniency.  Good for him.  But then he turns around and is ruthless and heartless with a fellow servant.  Like Fr. John going to confession in a mirror, so this man finds it easy to forgive and excuse himself, but not so much when it comes to others.  He is a hypocrite and that’s why he’s the worst judge in his own case.

            My friends, I believe this is the reason that marriage is both a great blessing but also a great burden.  It’s a great blessing because no one knows you as well as your spouse, and it’s a great burden because, well, no one knows you as well as your spouse!  Scott Hahn once said we never bare our souls as much as when we bare our bodies.  This is the cause of so much friction and finally failure in so many marriages.  Our spouse shows us who we really are – we are jealous and petty, greedy and gluttonous, resentful and lazy – but we don’t want to see that.  And so we get rid of our spouse and try to be the judge, jury and executioner in our own case.  When I counsel couples going through marriage problems, I often think, “Man, I’m glad I didn’t get married!”  But then I also realize that I will spend far more time in purgatory than you will, finally seeing myself as I really am.  We are the worst judge in our own case, while our spouse is often the best judge.

            Every morning, I wake up and look into the mirror and ask, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”  And the mirror always answers, “Why, you are, Fr. John, no matter what mean old Fr. Andrew and Fr. Pius say.”

            Praised be Jesus Christ!