Learning to listen before we speak
04/22/2024
Jn 10:1-10 Jesus said:
"Amen, amen, I say to you, whoever does not enter a sheepfold through the
gate but climbs over elsewhere is a thief and a robber. But whoever enters
through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens it for him,
and the sheep hear his voice, as he calls his own sheep by name and leads them
out. When he has driven out all his own, he walks ahead of them, and the sheep
follow him, because they recognize his voice. But they will not follow a
stranger; they will run away from him, because they do not recognize the voice
of strangers." Although Jesus used this figure of speech, they did not
realize what he was trying to tell them. So Jesus said again, "Amen, amen,
I say to you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves
and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever
enters through me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture.
A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they
might have life and have it more abundantly."
Recently I have enjoyed reading
Bishop Robert Barron’s book “The Great Story of Israel.” Piggy-backing on a
Jewish rabbi, Bishop Barron offers this insightful remark: “Jonathan Sacks
famously distinguished between the ancient Greek culture, which is ordered to
the visible, and the ancient Jewish culture, which is ordered to the audible.
If the eye is the principal organ for Greek wisdom – and indeed the centrality
of Plato’s eidos (form) indicates this – then the ear is the principal organ
for Jewish wisdom” (p. 116).
By the way, my dog Apollo is a
great example of this because he relies on his ears far more than on his eyes.
His name Apollo, therefore, is rather ironic, since even though it is a Greek
name, he is a far better Jew than a Greek.
In the gospel today Jesus also
emphasizes the ear in following the Good Shepherd. He says: “The Good Shepherd
walks ahead of his sheep, and the sheep follow him, because they recognize his
voice. But they will not follow a stranger; they will turn away from him,
because they do not recognize the voice of strangers.” In other words, the
Christian religion, built on the foundation of Judaism, is also principally
based on hearing more than seeing.
To use an analogy, Christians are
like submarine captains who must navigate deep under water not by sight but by
sound, by sonar, by listening. But the prerequisite to listening is silence. We
must stop talking in order to hear. In other words, silence, in order to
activate our sonar system, is the first step of all sound prayer, to hear the
Good Shepherd and follow him.
May I draw out one practical
application of prioritizing the ear over the eye (and the mouth), which goes
beyond the scope of religion and touches all relationships? Every week I work
in the marriage tribunal with the ministry of annulments. I read cases of sadly
failed marriages that end in divorce and investigate whether or not there is
enough evidence to grant an annulment.
As I read through the testimony
of both the former husband and former wife, almost invariably the breakdown of
the marriage was caused by poor communication. And I would argue further that
the first step of good couple communication – like the first step of prayer –
is not speaking but listening, to close your mouth and open your ears. It’s
easy to talk, which usually devolves into shouting and yelling, than to
attentively listen to what another person shares.
In John’s gospel this morning, he
also notes the tragedy of failing to listen, writing: “Although he used this
figure of speech” – that a sheep hears and recognizes the shepherd – “they did
not realize what he was trying to tell them.” How often in couple counseling
the wife will complain: “He’s not listening to what I am trying to tell him!”
Or the man will lament: “She never listens to what I am trying to say!”
And sometimes they try to drag me
into the argument. “Fr. John would you go and talk to my husband, maybe he will
listen to you!” “Fr. John would you talk to my wife?” People think the solution
to poor communication is more “talking.” How refreshing it would be if a wife
came to me and said: “Fr. John, would you listen to my husband? I can no longer
hear what he is trying to tell me.”
The first step of all good
religions, and all healthy relationships, is to listen not to talk. Foster a
spirit of silence and listening to others and to God. You are the captain of a
submarine and must navigate by sonar and silence, not by sight or shouting.
Praised be Jesus
Christ!